How To Forgive A Cheating Husband Without Giving Up Your Dignity
If your husband cheated on you, but you want to forgive him without feeling you lost your dignity, then read on to find out more.
When it comes to someone who has cheated on you, in this case, your husband, you would think there is no possible way to forgive him. You somehow still might find it in your heart to be able to. You just can't imagine life without him and you can't think of anyone else you rather spend your life with but your husband has done the unthinkable. You're not entirely sure what to do.
Is it possible to forgive someone who's cheated on you?
Forgiving someone who cheated on you says a lot about your character and it's hard to argue that when someone cheats on you they are not really worth it. But you being the person you are want to find it in your heart to forgive them while at the same time keeping your dignity worrying what others will think of you. We're here to tell you, when it comes to love it doesn't matter what anyone thinks as long as you are with someone who loves you back. A cheating husband though is something you have to think twice about. Just realize you're no less of a person than he is.
How Do You Forgive A Cheating Husband?
When someone has cheated on you there is no doubt you are not going to feel good about it. There will always be that internal struggle of feelings you'll have to deal with for a very long time but it's something you will have to come to terms with if you want at all to be able to forgive your husband.
The internal struggle
One of the most betraying feelings, in general one of the worst feelings, in life is having to find out your husband is cheating on you. Forgiving a husband who's cheated on you can be one of the hardest things. You just can't believe it or want to deny it as much as possible but there's no way around it; it happened. Whether you caught him in the act, someone told you out of complete sureness, or it was a slip up of some sort, you want to somehow forgive and forget and find a way past it. You'd rather not be a spouse but you hope you can make things work out while still having your dignity intact. Just remember that your feelings come first and you need to tend to them as much as you see fit.
What Does Dignity Have To Do With It?
Dignity can have a different meaning or mean something else to some than others. Dignity is more what you feel about yourself rather than others but it also can be an outward source looking in. You just know you have dignity for yourself and you don't want that to change if you were to forgive your husband.
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When looking at what's right and what's wrong, the moral compass so to speak, you can't help what others think of you or what you may think of yourself. Dignity is important to you and you don't want to feel like you let yourself down or that others see you as less because you decide you want to forgive a cheating husband. On the surface that's what people will probably think and you have to just accept that. However when they think of it on a deeper level maybe they will have a better understanding as to what it is you want to do. Thing is, you don't need to think of yourself as a less dignified person because you weren't the one who did anything wrong and at the end of the day you are just making a pure judgment call. As for others, most people you see or know quite possibly have never been in the same situation as you and they may think you're crazy for wanting to forgive your husband. Who are they to say? Their view doesn't matter, it only comes down to how you view yourself.
Who Did You Find Out Your Husband Was Cheating On You With?
When your husband cheats on you it is almost always a given you are going to want to know as much as possible as to who it was with and why. It makes a difference when it comes to your approach, how you go about things, and what you do next.
Getting the information you need
After finding out your husband was cheating on you, you might want to get to the bottom of things before you begin to forgive. Finding out or knowing who your husband was cheating on you with is the first step in finding out what the connection was and knowing why it might have happened or the circumstances that might have brought it about. While no cheating can be justified in any way, there are worse ways to cheat or worse kinds of cheating than others. The best way to find out what degree of cheating is to find out who it was with and how it happened. You might want to take the time to question your husband and see what the intention was or what the exact reasoning is before deciding what to do next. It could be someone you know. A friend or family member. Could be someone you don't know at all but when it comes to cheating it really does matter.
Talk it out with the other in the picture
You will have found out who it was after a while and it will also be in your best interests to talk it out with her just so you can see your husband and her are on the same page with their stories. If they differ, something doesn't add up. Lying after the fact no matter the side won't help in any case.
Discuss With Your Husband Why He Was Cheating And For How Long
After knowing who your husband cheated on you with it should make things slightly easier on you but now you need to know exactly what your husband was thinking and why he would do this. What were the circumstances leading up to this? How long was this going on for?
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Why he would do this
After talking with the woman your husband was cheating on you with, it may be a good idea to check in with your husband and ask him why he was cheating and how long it has been going on for. There is no valid answer for why he was cheating on you. This is to see if stories match and to get both views on the intimate moment or moments your husband shared with this other woman. It's up to you to decide if these are something you can forgive or not. As for the length of time, whatever your husband answers, the longer he says it's been going on the worse it actually is. It's still pretty bad but rather it a short while than a long while. If it has been a long while that will probably mean it was done more purposely and with more comfortably over time. This is something that is very hard to forgive.
Measure The Exact Degree Of Cheating
No matter what has happened, everything matters when it comes to cheating. Knowing what you know now, you can probably measure or gauge the exact degree to which you are feeling. Knowing this, helps you know what actions you need to take in order to help the process of forgiveness.
How bad is it
There is no denying it but when it comes to cheating there is a lot more negative views towards it and not very many positive views, if any at all. You need to take into account everything you know or have solid proof of and in your mind figure out the degree of cheating this is to you. The more you hurt the more of a degree it is. Do you even feel you could forgive your husband for this? What would he have to do? Could your love even be redeemed? It's hard to answer any of these because cheating is not something you feel someone that loves you would do.
Think Long Before Deciding To Forgive
Thinking is about all you're going to be doing from start to finish but there comes a time where you really need to think and it's about what you're doing or what you're thinking of doing. Do you really forgive your husband? Might it be better going with other options?
Thinking About it
With thinking comes more thinking and you really need to think about this before you automatically jump to forgiving your husband. Don't just think once, think twice. Does he really deserve to be forgiven? Does he really deserve someone as loyal as you when he couldn't be himself? Think about what you are going to say to him next time you speak. You need to know what is going to happen from here. You need to know if he is going to change and how. You need to know this is going to stop here now and forever. If he's not willing to listen to what you have to say and ends up going against you anyway and he ends up doing what he wants, he wasn't worth it to begin with.
Sit Your Husband Down And Tell Him You Want To Forgive Him
After a while, and with some time gone by, you need to sit him down and be prepared to tell him, you want to forgive him but you're not sure if you're going to. You telling him you want to forgive him is like telling him you want to forgive him but really have no reason to. He should get the message that this is not a forgivable act.
Letting him know without actually doing it
You will need to eventually at one point sit your husband down and discuss what needs to be done in order to forgive him. If you both love each other you should both want the same things. Let him know that cheating on you wasn't okay and explain in great depth how much he really hurt you. Make him think twice about everything. Bring up the option of becoming a spouse if need be to let him know you are one-hundred percent serious. He should think long and hard about this. Make sure he promises to never do it again and make sure he means it.
When doing this, this also will show your husband that you are really trying to forgive him even though he is in the wrong. He may think twice about ever doing that again. It will show him that maybe he really does have something he should be holding onto.
Think Twice About Becoming A Spouse
If worst comes to worst you might have to consider not forgiving him and maybe going with another option. Nobody likes to be the spouse after a left behind relationship but if your husband cheats on you: Does he really love you? No option is off the table, this is your love life after all.
Consider the option
When someone cheats on someone being the one who is cheated on you feel hurt and even if you want to forgive it just always feels like there is a part of you that will hurt inside whenever you think back to when you were cheated on. The idea of being alone may be very scary at first and time does heal all wounds but if what you've been through is something you feel is beyond repair you might want to think of the alternative. Being a spouse or single again is not exactly the end of the world and there's always chance love will find you again. Is there someone better out there for you? What's to stop your husband form cheating on you twice or even more? You need to think of what's best for you and avoid any more heartbreak than you've already suffered.
Being A Spouse Is Not A Total Loss
Single life is not as bad as it seems and it beats being in a questionable relationship any day but it can be hard when it comes to a long loving relationship you thought would last. Sometimes the pain of being with that person even after forgiving them can come back to you when the cheating comes to mind. You might not be able to help the thought of this coming up again if he were to wrong you on a different occasion.
Doing what's best
Being a spouse after so long may help you put more perspective on things. You were with a man (your husband) and was unaware this entire time that he was cheating on you. Being by yourself might help you see things in a way you need to right now. You need to know if you really needed him or if this can really be forgiven. You might find that time apart has done you some good and you can think about things a lot more clearly now. You might realize forgiveness may not be the answer here.
Ask Him How He Would Feel In The Same Situation
Sometimes when someone does something hurtful towards you, you need to flip the script and see if it would hurt them all the same if you were to do the same thing. Maybe don't do it to the extreme but pop the question. How would you feel if I cheated on you? Would you forgive me? Would you still want to make things work?
How would he answer?
Depending on what he said would determine almost instantly what you both mean to each other and how he would react and feel in the same situation. It's at this point you would know if you truly loved each and if you should forgive him or leave him. This would decide if your relationship at this point is worth saving or not.
Forgive Or Not To Forgive
Ultimately, it is up to you whether to decide to forgive your husband or not. You need to take into account everything that's been done and what cannot be undone. Let him know what he needs to do from here on out. If he does not respect you enough to do that, than he is not worth your forgiveness or you.
Forgive And Forget
If your husband however says that he would feel the exact same way as you in the given situation, you need to tell him what he needs to do to prove it. He may have cheated on you but love conquers all. If you were meant to be than you forgiving him should put everything back as it should as long as he keeps word and promise nothing like it will ever happen again. Forgive and forget.
Hopefully this article has helped you in some way and has giving you the direction you need when it comes to forgiving your husband. Just so you know, whatever you decide to do make sure you do it without regret.