10 Ways To Make Your Husband Want You Sexually Again

Remember that time when you started dating your husband? Those crazy, youthful times when you couldn’t get enough of each other. When the days were spent daydreaming and the nights spent fantasizing. And when you finally did see each other, it was almost impossible to keep your hands off of each other! Those days might now seem like ages ago. You look at your husband sitting right beside you on the couch and with all the access he has to your right now, he seems more interested in the TV than he is in you. Back then it was impossible to be sitting this close and not want to hold and touch each other. Back then, hours and days were leisurely spent just cuddling and caressing. Now, even the most sexually stimulated moments are set within a time limit because you have to wake up early either for work or to get the kids to school. For the most part, a healthy, balanced marriage is a beautiful thing to have. It’s okay to have moved on from those crazy, intense youthful days to this more relaxed and comfortable routine where you work in perfect partnership with each other towards your goals. To know that someone’s always got your back. But it is also possible to incorporate a little spice in the bedroom (or living room or kitchen or wherever you fancy!) within this relationship so it becomes even more sexually fulfilling again. It is especially necessary to do so if you’ve been feeling that your marriage is lacking in something. A marriage is supposed to be peaceful and blissful, but with the right steps taken, it can also be exciting and rousing again.

If you feel your husband doesn’t notice you as often anymore, do not jump to the conclusion that the love is lost, or that he’s not interested in your any longer. Love and sex aren’t the exact same things and chances are your husband still continues to show his love for you through other things like working as hard as he does, and remembering those small things that you tell him to do. A sexually stagnant relationship, therefore, isn’t necessarily a yardstick to measure how much or less your husband loves you. Instead, it is a reflection of how much work you’re putting in towards maintaining a fulfilling sexual relationship. That’s right, making your husband want you sexually entails you to make efforts. Now before you jump the gun to see this statement as an insult to the freedom of women to live their lives however they please, stop and rewind to a few years in the past. You DID wear those dresses that complimented your body on dates, didn’t you? You did get your hair and nails done every time, didn’t you? And you also obsessed over wearing matching underwear on every date, anticipating some bedroom action after, just so you wouldn’t be caught messy or unpolished before him under any circumstances! When you did all that work all those years back, why should anything change just because you’re married? It is incredibly selfish to use marriage as a garb for being too lazy to take care of your own self or do those extra little things that stimulates your husband sexually. Marriage is a partnership which means you need to do your share of things for him so he does his share of things to you, if you know what I mean. Here are 10 extremely effective tips that will take your bedroom game to the former fun level again, and make your husband sexually interested in you like he used to be.

I know you’re restless to get to the part where I talk about racy, lacy lingerie, but the first most important reason that takes sex out of most marriages is all the negativity that comes with trying to make life happen. Making it to the office at the nick of time, managing the kids, handling the odd financial crunches and hustling to make all ends meet, give rise to severe negativity in life in general, and within the relationship that often makes couples hostile to each other. You go from being the couple who volunteers to help each other out in their tasks, to fighting over whose responsibility the trashcan is. With all of this antagonism, even if he is interested in you, it is natural for your husband to want to go straight to sleep at the end of the day, sex not even crossing his mind unless it is Daenerys Targaryen undressing on TV. Not only have you both not been building up to it, in his mind, it is yet another task to woo you just so he could get some action. If your husband is anything of a respectful man with a brain he uses, he sees you differently than a pornstar he could get instant relief from watching. He would want your sexual association to be both meaningful and fun, with lots of love and affection woven in. To make that happen, you need to consciously keep things positive. Curb your tendencies to fight over every small thing, wish him a loving good morning every day, see him off to work with a smile and be attentive to his needs and supportive of his actions. Make your home and yourself a peaceful place that makes him relax at the end of the day, instead of making it a place that loads him with more responsibilities.

Another vice to a fun-filled sexual relationship is falling in a rut. Any long term relationship has a tendency of becoming routine business after a while. While that can be a peaceful state for many, it also makes things a little boring. And boring and sexual don’t make for a good combination. If you want your husband to be sexually interested in you again, you need to constantly introduce freshness into your relationship. You could either choose to reinvent yourself by learning a new skill and surprise him with a new you, or you could both do something together, like maybe learn some ballroom dancing (tip: try the Brazilian Zouk; it is the sexiest dance form ever!) Doing something new will not just take your mind off of the boring routine tasks that had got you bogged down, it will also refresh memories of the times you started dating when everything you did together was a new experience. Another way of adding an element of surprise is to keep little secrets of your own. Not the serious, relationship-damaging ones (like don’t cheat on him or something!) but tiny ones about yourself. For example, instead of telling him every detail about what you do at work every day, keep your part of your life to yourself and invite him over to the office party one day. Let him see you in action for himself. He will suddenly see you in a different light and maybe even get jealous of that handsome colleague who you seem to be very friendly with. This will definitely make him interested in you all over again.

We could talk all we want about personalities and emotions (which are valid points BTW) but being sexually attracted is a lot of about the body too. That’s the reason models and pornstars are ALWAYS sexually attractive, and men (your husband included) are mostly always interested in them. That’s the reason why fitness, nutrition and wellness brands make as much money as they do. And that’s the reason why you should work on getting fit too, if you haven’t already subscribed to this notion. Besides the fact that being fit is a health asset, irrespective of how your sexual life is, it also helps you get the body that your husband can’t afford to ignore even if he tried. No matter how much his responsibilities and problems in life, if he takes a look at his wife and thinks, ‘Damn this woman is hot’, chances are he will still sexually want you. This is something you have total control over, so use it to your advantage. If you have medical ailments like thyroid, diabetes or PCOS that causes weight gain or loss, get yourself treated and do the needful to get in shape again. You will be thankful for a healthy life and your husband will be thankful for a sexy lady in his life.

Now that you have the body it takes to get your husband interested in you again, it is time to flaunt it. And what better than some sexy lingerie! Almost all men put lacy underwear on their fantasy lists. The choices are myriad too. The no-brainer, hands-down win is a combination of black satin and lace, but you could also pick other colors that you feel compliment you better. Soft pastels, for example, are great to show off the tan, white has that playful, angelic feel and red is a total show stopper. You could opt for just a matching set of bra and panties in your favorite color and fabric or you could get a little fancier with babydolls, teddies, corsets and garter belts. But what is more important is that you need to keep in mind what your husband prefers. Quite a few men have admitted to liking cotton boy shorts and tank tops more than the itsy bitsy ones (their life, their choices, who are we to question?), so if your husband is one of them, opt for these instead. Bottomline: get your Candice Swanepoel on to make your husband want you sexually again.

Although these are basic tips, they are important in getting your husband sexually interested nonetheless. Groom yourself in every which way if you’ve been ignoring it all this while. He will notice the change and appreciate the effort. Men are visual creatures and no matter how turned on they are by your personality, good looks capture their attention like nothing other. Take time with your showers, scrub and moisturize your way to smooth supple skin that will melt under his touch, and primp yourself further with some makeup. Get your husband to remember that beautiful face he had fallen in love with. Don’t overdo it though; most men don’t particularly like the heavy contouring stuff. Keep it natural and dewy. Or use a red lipstick. Men always notice the red lipstick. If you can direct his attention to your mouth, how long do you think it will take him to go all the way in (yes, that pun was intended).

There are some not-so-obvious, scientific reasons for men to sexually want women. One of them is the concept of pheromone, a chemical that is secreted by men, women and animals that trigger sexual attraction. Skin and hair are two of the agents that release pheromones, which is why a head of bouncy, shiny hair is considered so attractive. Shiny and smooth hair is also reflective of good health, which subconsciously makes others feel sexually attracted to you, even if they are not thinking about it. Use this scientific trigger on your husband by getting a deep conditioning spa treatment followed by a fresh blow out. Paired with the aforementioned lingerie, you can see how this can have a total lethal effect on your husband!

The pheromones mentioned earlier are actually transmitted through the sense of smell, so the olfactory sense plays a significant role in sexually attracting your husband (anyone for that matter, but you’re focusing on the husband here). This is the reason why those Axe commercials make sense. This is why you can tell your husband’s “scent” from other men, and likely love it too. Fragrances make matters sensual. If you’ve been taking this aspect lightly, surprise him by wearing a heady but subtle perfume to work the next day. As you walk past him, the whiff will draw his attention to you again. To keep him interested forever, religiously wear an eau de toilette after shower before bed to make him want you sexually. Don’t forget to spritz some in your hair to strengthen its effect. As that fragrant hair tumbles over his face, he will be sexually interested in you once again like he was all those years ago.

When you’re done working on yourself and on your surroundings, it is time to invite him into the act, both explicitly and implicitly. Sex in a marriage can turn frightfully routine and dull and you need to change this asap. Playfulness is key to a romantically fulfilling sexual relationship with your husband. Don’t just wait for the act to happen at night; initiate it right through the day. Send him naughty texts when he’s at work, look into his eyes meaningfully at the dinner table, “accidentally” touch him intimately when you’re walking past each other. In the bedroom too, don’t just lie there. Make him work for it. Tantalize his senses by playing hard to get. Because when you’re hard to get, well, your husband will WANT to get you.

One secret to making your husband sexually want you is to first show him how much you want him! Most men are turned on by a woman wanting them sexually and your husband might be waiting for you to do the same. All the while that you think that he’s not sexually interested in you, he might be thinking the same! Get that passion going in your relationship again simply by opening your heart to him. Tell him in explicit words how much you desire him and crave his touch. Tell him how difficult it has been for you to have waited all this while. If your husband does love you, he will want to return this gesture and before you know it, you’ll be caught in a sexual frenzy like you’ve never known.

Picking up on the routine issue again, don’t let sex with your husband get dull by following the same tried and tested methods over and over again. Change it up! For best results, categorically ask him about his fantasies. And execute as many as you can (even if it’s that Princess Leia fantasy). Also tell him about yours and demand that he do the same for you. Your husband will be excited to see you so proactive in the bedroom and will sexually want you all over again. Consider using toys and accessories and learn some lap dance and striptease moves. Not only will your husband notice the efforts you make, trying new things in the bedroom will get him interested in the act with a new vigor.

Getting sexually attracted to another likeable person is such a primal thing, it is hardly difficult to get someone interested. All it takes is a little bit of dedication to go that extra mile. If you like things dull and boring, there’s no need for it, but fun results call for some extra efforts. All of the above steps are easily executable, so if you feel your husband needs to notice you a little more, push the envelope a little further and make him sit up and take notice! He married you; he’s already interested in you. All you need are some fun and games and a lot of positivity in your relationship to make it a spicy affair!