The rules and etiquette of dating multiple people
Are you getting in the dating pool again? What do you want or what are you looking for? Maybe you're trying to find "the one" or you're just going to casually date several people at once because you want to keep your options open. These days dating multiple persons has become kind of a norm, a lot of women and men are going that road and for some, it seems to work out.
If you're thinking that dating multiple people is something you want to try, there are some rules and etiquette you need to follow so it doesn't become messy.
1. Honesty is crucial
It's not like you have to give a detailed account of your dating history but you need to be honest in telling him what is it you're looking for. If you're not on the same page, then you shouldn't be dating that person. Seek people who are interested in multiple dating, otherwise, your date is not going to be fun.
2. Pay attention to your date
The fact that you're dating multiple people at once doesn't mean that when you're on a date with one of them you won't be present, what we mean is that you have to show interest in him. So ask him questions and pay attention to his answers, you know, get to know him. Also, share information about you, if you have things in common like both of you like old movies, then make a movie date.
3. Don't schedule more than one date on the same day
Try to manage your schedule, if not, you're going to rush through one date to get to the other and that can be stressful. You need to set aside enough time so you can enjoy each date.
4. Assume the other person is also dating multiple people
Particularly if you met them through a dating site. There's a very good chance that he is seeing other people too because is kind of hard to get to know a person through text messages or emails, you have to meet them in person. So assuming he's also dating multiple people is a good strategy and it' help you relax and enjoy your date because you both are on the same page.
5. Don't swamp them with texts
You don't have to walk on eggshells or try to be someone you're not. If you want to contact someone you're dating on a regular basis (say every day), that's OK as long as you don't send text after text on the same day. Send one message and wait for him to reply.
6. If you found "the ONE" then end the other relationships
It's really important to know when to end multiple dating. If you feel like one of them is the person you want to date exclusively, then you need to talk to the other ones and gently and politely let them know that you have decided to change roads and seek a committed relationship with just one person.
7. Try to keep the amount of people you're dating manageable
The number will depend on how good at managing dating multiple people you are. Some think that 5 is an acceptable number as long as you can keep them straight, but maybe 3 would be a nice number. It's really up to you.
How to date multiple people at once
If you have decided that dating multiple people is the path to go right now, then we imagine you want to do it right, so it can really work for you.
Some say that dating multiple people at once is a healthy thing to do and is also beneficial to your love life because "playing the field" could lead you to finding true love. Follow the rules and etiquette we mentioned before so that when questions like, "Do I disclose all the other people I'm seeing? or What do I say to the other persons when things are getting serious with just one of them?" arise, you'll know what to say and behave.
There are a couple of things you can do so that dating multiple people at once can work for you. Keep reading.
1. Build your dating confidence and be a better dater
That seems about right if you want to get better at dating. Doing something on a regular basis helps you to get better at it. It'll help build your confidence and you could refine your skills by going on different dates with different people.
Just be careful and don't over do it, or you'd be at risk of just going through the motions and not connecting with anyone. If that happens and you're not having fun anymore then maybe you should stop and regroup.
2. Learn what you really want in a partner
Dating multiple people at once can help you narrow down what you're looking for. Getting to know all different kinds of people opens you to new experiences and that can definitely help you choose the right one, because you'll know exactly what you like and what you don't like.
3. Always stay honest... and tell the truth
Dating multiple people at once is not about being deceitful or selfish, you have to treat each person you're dating with respect and be honest with them. If he asks if you're seeing other people, you need to tell the truth. But remember that he deserves your full attention when you're on a date, so give it to him.
The highlights of dating multiple people
There are a couple of highlights from dating multiple people and not just focusing on one person.
1. More options or possibilities
By dating multiple people at once, you get the chance of knowing a whole bunch of possible partners. And that really helps for example If you don't have an idea of what you want in a partner. Dating different people can help discover what is it you're looking and also can help you find out what you definitely don't want.
2. It gives you a chance to expand your horizons
We are wired as humans to seek comfort and familiar things and when it comes to dating, that's our first impulse, but beware that this can limit your options. If you're OK with this, by all means, keep at it, as long as it makes you happy, but if you're looking to experience new things and expand your horizons then dating multiple people will give you a chance to do it.
if you're not dating exclusively, then dating someone who's totally different to what you're accustomed won't feel like a risk, it will only be another option to explore, and you never know maybe that was what you were waiting for.
3. It can teach you to avoid several pitfalls quickly
Dating multiple people at once can teach you to wise up quickly because you begin to notice the games people play. You start to recognize patterns like when someone is a liar, then you'll know what persons to avoid.
The challenges of dating multiple people
Dating multiple people also has some challenges that you need to acknowledge so you have the whole picture.
1. You could feel lonely
Dating multiple people at once will not fill the void of loneliness. Usually, when you're dating several people at once you form shallow connections and to fill that void you need a soul connection which is hard to achieve if you have to divide your time with between 3 or 5 persons.
2. You could lose sight of what you want and what makes you happy
Dating multiple people can be a challenge to your happiness because it could make you lose focus of what you want. Maybe you want a relationship but it just happens that the guy you're with today says he's not, you would go and convince yourself that you're not either, because you have other guys on the plate too. Imagine having 5 different people saying 5 different things, you could start to lose sight of why you're dating.
Is it wrong to date multiple people?
That is a hard question to answer and the answer will depend on you and on what you want. Some say that dating multiple people is not wrong at all if you know the rules of the game and you stick to them. Some say it's not wrong but also, it's not honest.
Dating multiple people is ultimately your choice if you feel like right now, it is the thing you need to do then go ahead, just don't forget why are you doing it and remember that there are rules and etiquette to follow.
These days it's considered a norm, but if it's something you're not comfortable doing, then don't sweat it, keep focusing on one person at a time. Dating should be fun and exciting when it stops being that then you need to evaluate and do some changes.
Dating multiple people could be a good way of meeting the one you want to date exclusively. Just have in mind that it's not the only way if you don't feel comfortable doing the multiple dating at once, then stick to what you're doing and have patience.
If you want to date multiple people and make it work for you, you have to be honest because otherwise, things could get ugly. Make sure all of you are in the same boat.