Getting angry is totally normal and understandable and we are saying this for a reason with the help of different perspectives. Being a parent you will face diverse challenges while tackling your child. As you love your child, you also expect him/her to behave in a decent and respectful manner with you.
But be prepared for the unseen. In spite of this love and care type of bond, your child might show unexpected levels of anger. It is surprising and upsetting too, as you are taking care of your child 24 hours a day, 7 days a week and 365 days a year. It’s a full time demanding job and there are no vacations.
Being a parent you must have had experienced rough moments at work or anywhere else, where you socially interact with other people. Your thrust level might have had shattered a few many times. And all you could do was blow and vent your emotions on someone or something.
It is reasonable to say that getting angry, is a part of your emotional communication. If you can express anger, then why not your children? The real problem lies in the manner of expressing anger. Some people are really good at tackling an angry adult or a kid, while others just worsen the situation.
All that you need to do is learn about anger; the reasons that lead to frustration and the right manner of controlling and expressing those feelings. There are actually healthier ways of expressing anger and taming a furious child. It certainly takes time to learn the reasons that manifest anger and teaching your child the right manner of conveying annoyance.
Anger Management Test - Does Your Child Needs To Go Therapy?
To understand your child, you need to have a strong bond with him/her. As communication gap can easily lead to unwanted misunderstanding between the parent and the child. As I have earlier said that anger is a type of emotion, it means that you can control the way it’s expressed. It is actually a very strong degree of emotion and many people try to avoid facing anger.
Many parents fail to communicate to their children that anger can be controlled and it can even be discussed about – without creating a huge wall of ego and self-interest as a barrier. Let’s have a look at how parents fail to manage anger in their children.
- By telling a child that it is totally unacceptable to get angry and to not to get upset when you are treated in a poor manner.
- By telling a child that if you will be angry, you will be left alone and your relation with your parents will get damaged.
- By telling a child that you will get involved in a maddening situation and there is no need to react even if you feel frightened.
Experience tells us that such type of comments makes a poor situation a worse one. Expressing and controlling anger are two different things. Being a responsible parent, you need to control your anger and mend your child’s manner of expressing anger. It’s a simple declaration.
And that is only possible if you have a clear cut understanding of this expression: anger. If you are unable to control the anger in your child it will lead to sudden temper tantrums, aggression, disrespect and defiance. Furthermore, your child will go through academic failures, poor mental health and social rejection too.
Why a test? Well, it is important to recognize that how angry your kid is and depending on that level of anger, you need to manage a therapy schedule. Let’s have a look at the situation.
- Does your child have difficulty in controlling anger?
- Does the anger come out in a destructive manner that can harm others around?
- Does your child break different things while getting angry?
- Does it take a lot of effort in calming down your child?
- Does your child get angry when instructed?
- Does your child follow the rules put forward by your or the teachers?
- Does your child use foul language while angry?
- Does your child react in a strong manner to even peaceful situations?
- Does your child always complain about you or friends or teachers or family?
- Does your child easily lose concentration?
- Is your child stubborn?
- Does your child react in a harsh manner even to friendly and caring gestures?
- Is your child socially inactive?
The questions placed above almost cover all of the signs of anger in a child. Now, you need to analyze the behavior of your child and see how you can answer the questions. It is you taking the test on behalf of your child.
Nearly all of the questions are of serious concern. If the answer to the majority of the questions above is ‘yes’, you need to start a proper anger management therapy for your child. Trust me it will save you and your child from the impending dilemmas.
Coping With Children Anger Management - Techniques and Tips
Here, I am going to share the 6 most effective tips that will help control anger.
1. Educating Your Child About His/her Anger
Have you seen your child angry? If yes then, you need to determine the triggers. What types of situations make your child angry and what can be done to make things better. A child needs to be told that anger destroys mental ability and peace and the will to be a good learner or to be socially active. Anger will not help in excelling in different areas of your life. Just imagine being angry with your teachers and fellows. Will you be able to perform in a good manner? A meaningful talk at the right time can totally change the way your child experiences and expresses anger.
2. Helping Your Child Express Anger
When your child is getting angry there is a strong mixture of emotions that’s manifesting. Just don’t jump in and scold or punish your child. You need to understand that an angry child doesn’t listen much. A child actually wants you to understand him/her and his/her feelings. When your child is angry, just stay calm and listen to what he/she needs to express. Later you can choose the right moment to deliver guidance. But before that, understand the type of personality your child has.
3. Holding Your Child Accountable
No, not in a negative manner! What you need to do is train your child to take responsibility for his/her actions. That starts right from you. Being a parent, you need to show that you are accountable enough to admit mistakes that have been made. Your child will learn from you and don’t put the cause of his/her anger on others. This level of understanding will help in controlling and communicating anger. It’s a crucial tip!
4. Helping Your Child Recognize Discipline
Being a parent and being in control of your child; you need to transfer some control and discipline. Whenever your child is angry, you need to teach him/her that either, anger controls you or you control it. And when it gets out of control you will create problems for yourself. Be very gentle while telling your kids about their anger. Make them remember a bad situation, if any, which was created due to the tantrum thrown last time. Help your child understand the consequences.
5. Helping Your Child Recognize the Root Cause of Anger
But before that, you need to evaluate that why your child is upset. Anger can be caused due to frustration, hurt, insecurity, sadness, confusion and even fear. Address those issues that are linked with your parenting style. Anger is a mode of communication and it needs to be attended to. When you are able to recognize the root cause of anger, in your child, it will help in creating awareness. Always communicate with words of encouragement, support and love.
6. Helping Your Child Review Anger
A responsible parent will never leave his/her child angry. When your child has calmed down ask your child that what help did anger bring. Did things get better? Is he/she feeling emotionally better? How could anger be expressed in a better manner? Did she/he learn something good from getting angry? What will he/she do next time while feeling angry? A few minutes of this healthy conversation will help your child review the cons of anger. There is no need of a lengthy lecture as dealing with emotions takes a lot of time and patience.
Encourage your child whenever you see a positive development - even if it is a little step. It will help in staying stable on the track of managing anger. There is great hope and that is: every mistake, discouragement and disappointment ultimately works together for a better you. Being a parent you need to provide your emotions, in a positive manner, as a learning experience. Be practical and show your children how life is handled. Don’t get frustrated just stay on the track!