Discover the 7 Great Tips for Dating in your 40s

Dating can be a little daunting for everyone, not just for older folks or individuals out of the dating scene for a while. Even people at their early and late 20s are having a tough one when it comes to finding that special one.

Dating at your 40’s can be a whole different game, it may be that you just got out of a long-term relationship, a divorce, or you just have no time making dating a priority due to work commitments and other things until now. Well, whichever the case may be, time has changed, and so is dating and relationships.

You can learn and update yourself on a few things first, before diving into the dating scene at 40 and unprepared. 

Remember when they say experience is the best teacher, well because it really is. Dating at the 40s might sound scary at first, but there is a little bonus on your side either as a lady or a guy. Being that matured even when not experienced is going to protect you from making dumb choices and decisions, or even settling for less simply because you are looking for that special one to spend the rest of your life with.

At 40, you should know what your goals are, and what you are looking for in a date and relationship. Be clear about the type and nature of the relationship you are seeking for, are you after a casual, serious or a long term relationship. All these decisions will better prepare and guide you toward making better judgments and decisions.

Staying in the dating scene requires a lot of patience and tolerance, which at 40 should be pretty easy. You are not young and impulsive, cause you’ve mastered the art of dealing with people and managing expectations. You are able to differentiate between real and unrealistic. Time is precious and at a matured age, it’s important to focus on dates that look more promising and real, rather than compromising which most young folks in their 20s tend to do. 

First of all, I don't care how strong you are, divorce is hard on everyone. It doesn't matter how forgiving or free-spirited you are, this kind of things always find ways of destabilizing a person and leaving you hurt.  As a recently divorced or divorced individual, always make sure you've healed and moved on with no resentment towards the opposite sex. Sometimes dating can be hard on folks who are divorced simply because they hold on to baggage from their previous relationship which can have a butterfly effect on their new relationship without even realizing. Another man’s or woman's sin in the past might get passed to an innocent person, which is completely unfair, therefore making furthering the relationship even more difficult.

Secondly, no comparisons, every relationship, and individuals are different. Move and do things out of your comfort zone, don't expect your future and potential dates to be like your ex’s. I am not saying be fake and not stay true to yourself, but be open-minded and give your date the benefit of the doubt by avoiding and doing things you would have done differently in your previous relationships. See your past as a learning stage in order to be a better version of yourself, and correct all of the things you would have done differently.  

The following are some of the best advice you can get when it comes to dating in your 40s:
 

Being authentic is the key to a successful relationship. Don't give a false persona of yourself. Dress like yourself, talk like yourself, spend like yourself and do not be conform to pressure or giving a falsehood of yourself. If your date doesn't like or accept the real you and all that you have to offer, then it probably it is meant to be.

Most relationships end even before it began, and that’s because sometimes as individuals, we tend to be extremely judgmental. When things wouldn’t always work in our favor or fall according to our expectations, don’t be quick to judge or be disappointed, always be open-minded, understanding and look on the bright side. The key to doing this is to always imagine yourself in your partner or the other person’s shoe.

Most people go on a date to find potential spouse, girlfriend or even lover, without actually discussing and laying down the nature and type of relationship you are after. Are you in need of a short term, long term or just casual relationship. All this information are pretty important to get them laid out in order to succeed and make progress in your relationships. At 40, you no longer believe in fairytale cause you are practical and you obviously live in a practical word, where actions are definitely stronger than words. 

The best advice to give a man diving into the dating scene at the 40s is to be optimistic, sometimes being out of the scene for a little while can tamper your confidence, and nothing is sexier than a man who is confident and knows what he wants.

Knowing what you want in a date or a potential partner will put you ahead of a lot of people, you no longer have to search and experiment, you can mainly concentrate on dating individuals who possess attributes or shows signs of the qualities you desire. The following are some few tips to help men dating in their 40s:

Even though you might be out of the game for a while, its okay, don't panic. Just be yourself and don't give yourself a tough time by being all nervous and anxious. We don't want you sweating or cracking unnecessary jokes on your first date, you might scare her off and give a wrong impression of yourself.

Even though some dates willingly love to share/split the cost, it will be nice for a guy at 40 to at least offer to pay the bill in full especially if he initiated the date. 

At 40, you probably have a lot of work commitments and obligations to attend to on a daily basis, but it will be nice to turn off all gadgets and give all of your attention and time to your date, let him or her know you really care about them by being attentive and interested in every conversation.

A lot of things might change over time, but the basics still remain the same. Things like coming to date on time, picking a good location, dressing for the occasion, all these still matters and will continue to remain the same for people of all ages, therefore try not to compromise on that. 

Always keep your conversation interactive and short. Do not be full of yourself by talking and keeping the conversation mainly around you. Watch out for the body language and facial expressions, and if it changes all of sudden, then that's a sign that the date is going south.

It's definitely a big NO to talk about your past relationships or previous failed marriage. You are trying to start a clean slate, keep the conversation fresh and clean. You don't want your date to feel like you are still not over your previous relationship.

Always be polite by asking and checking on your date if there is anything he or she needs to feel extremely comfortable. After a date, walk her home, open the cab door and make sure she is safely home before the date comes to an end.

The dating world is a little tougher for women compared to men when there is more competition from a younger pool of girls. It is common to hear discouraging comments that the man of your dreams will be snatched by another (younger) woman.

These tips will help women in their 40s to get their groove back and get back into that dating scene:

Women tend to be super protective over who they let in into their world and heart, and a negative past experience or relationship can have a significant effect on a new relationship. Therefore the best advice is to take your time and heal emotionally and spiritually before engaging in new commitment.

At 40, you might be very clear on what you want and need, and there is nothing wrong with that. But it's always important to not shut down or be disengaged if the date isn't going according to your expectations. The best things happen when we least expect them. Be open-minded and look on the brighter side, you might begin to discover you have great things in common with your date.

When you are older, people’s opinion or perception of you doesn't matter much. You have grown and experienced enough to know how to conduct and carry yourself in a manner that best suit you. Therefore, do not be afraid to ask questions and be clear about your intentions and expectations in a relationship 

I know you are in the 40s and trying to get into the dating scene, that alone is challenging, but at the same time, it doesn't mean you should compromise on your dressing and sense of style. Always dress for the occasion and try not to look desperate or needy. Some dresses can send the wrong attention, and you don't want your date feeling disconnected even before the date begins.

A lot of times, women can be a little needy without actually realizing. No man wants to see that your happiness depends on him for the most times. Always give them their space and try not to be too clingy or needy for the most part. When a man sees you happy and confident on your own, he will naturally feel more attracted to you.

Patience is a virtue and not everyone possesses that. When going on a date, be aware that not everyone is going to be as happy and successful as you will want it to be, but that doesn't mean you should give up or get scared from trying more. Keep trying and get out there until you find the right one.

I know they say is better to arrive late in look good, than to arrive early and look wrecked. Well, this isn't the case, always arrive on time or even ahead of your date if you are the initiator of the date to ensure you secure a table and make sure your date feels special and cared for.

Going on a date can be challenging, not just for people in their 40s, but for almost everybody. Finding that special one isn’t easy, and needs not to be rushed or be pressured. Take your time and do not compromise on your wants and needs. Be patient, be open-minded, don’t be judgemental and always be optimistic. A lot of first dates might not go right, but that’s okay, it shouldn’t discourage or stop you from trying and searching. Your future is bright and it all begins by taking one step at a time.