Being a single mother could be difficult sometimes as you begin to wonder about how are you going to cope raising your kid(s) alone? You start to ponder on how well you can be a good mum and meet up your kids need.
There are a lot of problems that could arise from single parenting and this has a lot of impact on a child’s future. Arising from a lot of debates, fatherless kids have more potential of being deliquescent and slow in both mental and educational aspects; though this might not necessarily be true as we’ve seen countless fatherless homes produce kids with high intellects and outstanding achievements.
What are Single Mums?
A single mother (single parenting) is quite different from co-parenting.
While a single mom is one without a partner; passed on or divorced, Co-parenting refers to a situation whereby both parents agreed to raise their child up even though they are already divorced or not together anymore in one way or the other.
A single mom has to depend on herself for the upbringing of her kids without equally relying on any individual or partner. She has to bear the burden alone and face whatever problem may arise during the course of single-parenting her kid(s).
8 Ways on How to Cope with Raising Kids as a Single Mum
Although single parenting could be quite difficult, there are lots of ways you can manage through and successfully raise your kid(s). Today, we will review the 8 of the most important methods to employ in your quest of single parenting.
1. Reach out
Although you have to rely on yourself as a single parent, that shouldn’t stop you from reaching out to friends and families. The truth is they will help you in one way or two; maybe spending some time to keep you and your baby company, or to help out with some baby tasks such as changing diapers (babies) or pick your kid from the school.
Some could even give useful parenting advice to you and support financially if possible. So why shouldn’t you reach out to them?
2. Time schedule
There are possibly tons of things you would be busy doing, being a single mum means bearing the burden of two. However, you must make a schedule of everything. Get a diary and make a list of everything you need to do.
To avoid overworking, remove unnecessary schedules and make time for your baby and you. Be organized and plan things out well.
3. Depression triggers
Okay, so you walked into a baby unit shopping mall or a nursery and you found out that other single parents around are smiling pretty obvious or dancing excitedly... Listen, that’s none of your concern!
Because their smile doesn’t mean they are happy. They are just well composed. Don’t ever compare yourself to them as you could never tell if you are doing even better than the majority.
So what should you do to avoid depression?
Do you remember high school juggles? Or your youthful ways? Try some! Just do something that makes you happy.
4. Show yourself some love
You should never depreciate the amount of love you have for yourself just because you are a single mother. Let the love grow, care less about what people say. You deserve to be loved and appreciated – to be happy irrespective of what’s happening.
Commend your achievements in being a single mother and how long you have been one.
5. Be careful of what you do in the kid’s presence
You might want to keep your relationship issues aside and attend to them whenever your kid(s) is/are not around. Emotional appearance, such as anger or usage of negative words should be discouraged so that you won’t impart what’s unhealthy onto them.
You want to receive a call which could warrant shouting, use of abusive words or emotional changes that are unfavorable? Then excuse yourself or reschedule the call when you are not with them.
YES, CONFIDENCE! You need this factor a lot. Believing in yourself is the first step to being a successful single mother. You have to believe that, ‘you can do it and you are going to do it.
Without confidence, you will find things more difficult to do. Every step would become harder as you go on and you will find yourself eventually discouraged, hoping to give up if possible. This is how regret starts!
So, be confident.
7. Handle grown-up issues separately
When having a special time with your kid, make sure you are careful of every word you utter as it could highly affect your child. Some issues like financial difficulty (if you have one) or partner disagreements, should be kept out –this could make your child anxious or feel scared about the unknown.
8. Don’t be too hard or too soft
Being a single mom, the pressure you bear could be too hard for you and when you are feeling stressed out; take your time to rest.
If you push yourself too hard, and you might eventually end up being harsh on your kid –like shouting at him or keeping him isolated for long.
Once this happens, try to calm down and relieve yourself of every mental pressure. Make amends with your kid and devise a way to avoid such next time.
3 Main Tips on How to be a Good and Successful Single Mum
1. Build a good relationship with your child
Make time out for you and your child each day. Communicate with him and always allow him to tell you his difficulties. Take him out often and get him his favorites.
Often commend or praise him for whatever necessary and tell him how much you love him. Schedule a regular activity with your child – like story reading before bedtime.
Smile and hug him as much as possible and make the most out of each day spent together.
2. Create a family rule
Although this could sound weird, you need it. There has to be a method of operation, an order within the family, to which both of you must conform. Make it simple, clear and easy to follow. This is a very good step in encouraging a good behavior for your kid.
3. Continue building your career
Being a single mom doesn’t mean you have to become goal-less. If you have existing goals, chase towards achieving them and if you never had one, take your time to build it. If your child is completely depending on you, build your career well.
Coping with bringing baby traveling as a single mum
Okay, so you want to go on a vacation with your kid or migrate from your current location? Going on a trip with your kid could be so stressing even with two parents.
This is what you need to do...
1. Hotels for kids
When booking a hotel, make sure you find one suitable for kids. If you are looking for kid-friendly hotels, make sure it has one of the following:
- Splash pad or kid pools they can use safely.
- A mini fridge which allows the storage of juices, milk, and snacks.
- Kid’s program, preferably for ages between 4 – 12.
2. Travel documents necessary for crossing borders
There are some paper works you would need to cross the border with your kid. Prepare every legal document. Make sure to research about it all and complete them for a smooth trip.
3. Get up early
Make sure you pre-book a taxi at night before, to drop you at the airport as early as possible. Pack everything you need a day before and prepare some snacks for your kid.
Quotes About Single Mums
There are some beautiful quotes that qualify how hard single mom’s work and here are some to inspire you:
“Being a single mom is twice the work, twice the stress, and twice the tears, but also twice the hugs, twice the love and twice the pride” - Mom junction.
“Raising a family is difficult enough, but it’s even more difficult for single mothers struggling to make ends meet. They don’t need more difficulties; they need more opportunities” – Bill Richardson.
“I’m a woman. I’m a single mum. I’m not a 10. I’m not perfect. I’m not a size 0. I have stretch marks. Sometimes my house is a mess. Some days I stay in pajamas. I make mistakes. I sometimes choose the wrong path. I cry, I laugh. At the end of the day, even though I’m not that perfect 10 with the perfect life, I know I’m happy and my kids are happy and that’s the best you can have in life. That’s beauty” – Mom junction.
Single parenting is obviously not an easy thing to do, but there’s always a way to do it successfully. Don’t be discouraged by anyone or anything and raise your kid well – because the result is always beyond our imagination!