When it comes to disciplining a child, it automatically becomes a sensitive subject. Even though kids behave alike and similar, in reality, they’re actually different individuals, and to discipline them in a similar fashion is not ideal. When kids misbehave or behave in a manner that is not appropriate, it usually means they’re seeking for attention, and when that attention is denied to them, they act out or have an outburst.
As a parent myself, I have experienced my own share of disrespect from my kid, you expect them to act better because of the values taught to them. Sometimes, they just won’t cooperate and will naturally want to be disrespectful. Once a child begins to have a voice of his or her own and is able to express and communicate their feelings, you will start witnessing all pattern of behaviors. Some behaviors are positive while others are not so good, but you can’t fully love them without accepting the good, bad and the ugly. It doesn’t mean you should sit back and allow them to become disrespectful either to you, themselves or others.
As an adult or parent, it becomes your responsibility to help them figure out what is missing and causing them to act out in such a disrespectful and unacceptable manner.
Examples of disrespectful children
Kids are naturally playful and unaware of consequences, they do a lot of things that are regarded as disrespectful without even realizing it, therefore it becomes the responsibility of the adult around to correct and help guide them towards becoming better individuals.
With kids and teenagers, some disrespect is a normal part of growth and development. Sometimes reprimanding a child might seems harsh, but it is something you need to do to affirm authority and let your kid know he or she isn’t the person running the show. Even though people may just brush the behavior off as “kids will always be kids”, it shouldn’t be used as an excuse and pardon each and every unpleasant behavior a child might exhibit.
In this article, I am going to give you examples of some of the things that kids do that are disrespectful and shouldn’t be overlooked or ignored.
1. Talking back at a parent rudely
Some kids make it a habit to talk back at their parents and guardians, for them is just a way they express their anger and disappointment. Since kids are smart, and for some reason, they know it gets your attention and infuriates you when they talk back rudely, therefore the more reason why they do it. Sometimes the child’s age and environment is a factor to why he or she behaves that way.
2. Hitting and throwing things
It’s even more destructive when your child is in the habit of hitting and throwing things at people whenever he or she is frustrated. That child needs to be taught on how to work on his or her emotions and not to be impulsive. It is clear when the behavior is exhibited even when the smallest things bother them and are frequent to have an emotional outburst. It’s okay for children to experience anger, but that anger shouldn’t be interpreted into destruction.
Kids should know from an early age that lying and not saying things as it is isn’t acceptable. They should be taught to always say the truth no matter how difficult the situation might be. Sometimes kids lie when they are scared of being scolded or punished, parents should make it clear that telling a lie will result in a more bigger lie which will eventually unfold and it is a negative behavior to discourage.
4. Swearing and using abusive language
Kids learn to swear and use abusive language, and it is mostly because they’re hearing adults or individuals around them use that same words. You don’t want your child being isolated or hated because of the choices of words he or she uses. Always be mindful of the language and word choices you use around them.
5. Bullying other kids
Some kids get mad at things that aren’t perfect in their world and will decide to naturally pick on other kids their age to feel powerful and in charge. No child should be allowed to inflict or cause hurting to any other child. Bullying is a very serious offense, and when you find your kid indulging in such action, quickly provide help to him or her by enrolling them in social and mental classes, and teaching them the importance to loving and helping one another.
Statistics of disrespectful children
Dr. Leonard Sax has been a family physician and psychologist for 27 years, conducting workshops around the world for parents, teachers, social workers, counselors, school psychologists and juvenile justice professionals. Sax, who lives in Exton, Pennsylvania, argues that American families are facing a crisis of authority, where the kids are in charge, out of shape emotionally and physically, and suffering because of it.
Lately, you hear kids telling their parents to shut up or yell at them, this is something that is very unusual in 1990 or 2000. It is now common, children, girls and boys, being disrespectful to parents, being disrespectful to one another, being disrespectful to themselves, verbally and otherwise. The culture has changed in a profound way in a short period of time in ways that have really harmed kids.
Studies have shown that kids are likely to start getting disrespectful from the age of 6, 8, 10,12 to 16. It is different with every child but more common as they grow older. Disrespect comes from a lot of unanswered behavior from childhood, allowing kids to get away even with the smallest amount of disrespect will empower them to keep up that habit and behavior. It’s also not wise to always reprimand or scold kids for the littlest things.
Lay down the rules and let them be aware of what’s acceptable and what’s not, and the punishment for every rule broken.
How to discipline disrespectful children and their attitude
It doesn’t matter if your child is pretending not to hear you speak or uses language like “whatever” when you speak to them, it may seem normal behavior with kids, especially teenagers, but it’s still part of disrespect and it shouldn’t be ignored.
Addressing disrespect is important because it’s going to stop or prevent a further outburst. Kids should be taught how to treat others with respect and just like they will love to be treated, otherwise, they might grow up becoming rude adults. If you find your kids being any sort of disrespectful, here are some of the most effective consequences for disrespectful behavior:
6. Ignore the blackmail
Kids are expert blackmailers, they are extremely smart and know exactly when to push your buttons, especially when out and about in public. They cry, throw tantrums and act out just to get you to submit to their demands, when that happens, always be strong by exerting authority and letting them know you won’t be rewarding bad behavior with anything.
7. Teaching them to say thank you and courtesy
Grandmas always ensure you are courteous before they hand out goodies to you. It’s important to teach kids to be appreciative and learn when to say “thank you” and politely say “please” when asking for things. It should be taught that all things are not handed freely but through hard work, therefore being courteous is very important.
8. Always give a warning
Since kids are known to always try your patience, you can establish conversation by issuing a warning and letting them know what the consequences are if otherwise. You can start the conversation with “if you don’t stop yelling at me, I am going to take the tablet away from you”. This tone will help establish authority and let them know who is in charge.
9. Be consistent with discipline
Don’t be a pushover, when you establish a rule, be consistent with it. Don’t discipline on and off, always keep your foot down and be strong through the emotional roller coaster.
10. Teach them restitution
Make it clear to a child that whenever he or she offends another individual, either at school or at home, he or she will have to come up with something extremely special to compensate or apologize to the victim.
What not to do that will make things worse
If your child is having challenges with learning boundaries and discipline, it’s important to always reinforce rules. It is said that rules are created in order to be broken, but it shouldn’t be so in your household. It’s necessary to always maintain good morals and values in your home and household. The following are some of the things you shouldn’t do in order not to make disrespect even worse with your kids:
11. Do not use inappropriate languages/words
If your teaching your kids to grow as respectful individuals, then it’s important to also lead by example. Be mindful of using cursing words and swear languages. These are things that can be picked up by kids easily.
12. Don’t yell or shout while having conversation with your child
Nothing is even more annoying than having to put up with a parent who constantly yells or screams at their child at every opportunity they get. Respect is reciprocal and even your bratty kids deserve that. Talking on top of your voice is only going to teach them resentment and anger, avoid that as much as possible and learn to step out or leave a particular scenario to calm down.
13. Don’t overreact
Don’t be that person who always turns small things your kids do into something big. Overreacting to things isn’t good, it undermines a person and his judgment. Your kids won’t be comfortable to tell you the truth or seek comfort in you.
14. Don’t take your child’s side
Being a parent has gotten you very familiar with your child’s habits and behavior. You know what he or she is capable and what they are not. If your child is found guilty or at fault, the right thing to do is to reprimand them and not instantly take their side. Don’t be that annoying mom who never sees her child’s fault. It will only teach your kids to be more arrogant and disrespectful.
15. Reward good behavior
It’s not always about finding and correcting faults in your child, it’s about finding both and rewarding good behavior as often as necessary. This will encourage and motivates a child to do better.
Quotes on raising respectful children
1. Parenting without a sense of humor is like being an accountant who sucks at math.
2. Having a parent who listens creates a child who believes he or she has a voice that matters in this world.
3. The way we talk to our children becomes their inner voice.
4. It is easier to build up a child than it is to repair an adult. Choose your words wisely.
5. Respect your kids, too many adults demand respect from kids without showing any respect in return.
Raising a child is not an easy thing, it takes a lot of effort and challenges. It is a long-lasting commitment with no time out or breaks. Teaching kids especially, at a younger age to be respectful to themselves and the people around them is important. Let them be aware that disrespect doesn’t get a person far in life. We live in a digital world where people are less patient, inconsiderate and angry almost all the time. You need to be the change you want to see in your kids by leading by example and being mindful of how you speak and behave around them.
Respect is reciprocal and your child is equally entitled to one. Do not swear, curse or bad mouth kids when you are angry. Yelling will only make you look crazy, avoid that at all times.