After a few years of marriage, responsibilities become heavier, children are now your primary focus, and your schedule and time become as tight as a drum. With all these in the way, your love life might become rusty, your marriage begins to look like it’s some formal pact and formal is boring. But hey, you wouldn’t be surprised if I told you a bit of romance here and there could do the job, right? Romance is fun and exciting and would definitely spark up that love rush that you thought as still.
Being a romantic husband isn’t that had a task, but it would be easier if you knew what your wife perceives as romantic. You don’t know how to be romantic? Guess what? If you happen to watch a lot of romance movies, you will find that there are a few tricks you could learn. You could surprise her with gifts, treats or flowers, take her out on dates, flirt with her, hug and kiss her before you leave for work. Do this few regularly for a start and watch your love blossom.
Tips and Ideas on How To Romance Your Wife Again
You might be thinking of ways you could rekindle that spark and passion after all these years of marriage. Here are a few ways you could revive that love rush again.
1. You know her love language, why not use it
While dating your wife, before getting married, you must have learned at least a bit of her love language, use it. If you don’t know it yet, you can learn and once you do so, be sure to use it daily.
2. Take her out on dates
This should be pretty exciting for her. You could go as far as asking her out again, make her feel like a young girl again. Dates shouldn’t be a once in a blue moon event, depending on your schedule, it could be weekly, bi-weekly or monthly.
3. Look attractive for her
The way you dressed and looked before you were dating might be a whole lot different from the way you do now. Did you stop going to the gym? You must have felt there wasn’t any need to impress her since you already married. Well, you’ve got to erase that thought and step up your looks. Always dress to impress and attract her and have her looking at you the way a child looks at candy. Never underestimate the effects of your looks on her.
4. Never fail to remind her how much she means to you
This is one of the most significant flaws in a lot of relationships and marriages today. We all fail to express our love to our partners because we assume that they already know. Women like the attention and want to feel loved. Keep reminding her how special she is to you and how much you love her through a text anytime in the day, a card, flowers or anything that would do.
5. Any bad habits? Lose them
This would definitely go a long way in improving romance with your wife. A few of these habits could be excessive drinking, pornography and smoking. Some other practices which you might not consider as excessive but actually is are gaming, being controlling, excessive time on your hobby or on social media and the likes. Find out your bad habits and if you don’t know them, ask your spouse and stop them. She may be surprised to see a change in you to improve and start noticing you again.
6. Become that perfect gentleman she needs
Gentlemen have a way of intriguing ladies, they are honest, gentle, polite, understanding and empathetic. Be your lady’s very own gentleman. You can start by opening the door for her, handing her your jacket when she’s cold, helping her get seated, and helping her with her coat and a lot of others.
7. Continually remind her how dashing she is
Ladies are more confident and are even more beautiful when their spouse tells them they are beautiful. Never let any day pass without making your wife know how beautiful she is by complimenting her looks always.
8. Learn to create time for her
The amount of time you create for her would communicate how much you value her. Learn to create time for her no matter how busy your schedule is.
9. Surprise her
Ever thought of buying her a treat? Coming home early to cook dinner? Breakfast in bed? Do something she loves for her and be creative about it too.
10. Show some affection
A hug or a goodbye kiss just before you leave for work wouldn’t hurt, how about a goodnight kiss? Or holding her hands while walking? Women love shows of affection, and you have to make sure she lacks none.
Tips and Ideas on How To Romance Your Wife After An Affair
Is it possible to romance your wife after she’s found out you cheated? Of course, it is, but it wouldn’t be easy. Infidelity leaves your wife feeling not enough, not beautiful, betrayed, kills her trust and love for you. Before you can even get to the point of romancing, you‘d have to get her forgiveness and help her become confident in you again. This is not entirely impossible provided you know what to do, and here are a few tips that can help you.
1. Don't dwell on the past
Don't dwell too much on the past. Remember that you have already had an affair and if anything is to be done, you have to let go of the guilt.
2. Accept the blame
Accept the blame and be confident enough to let her know you did wrong. Follow this up with an apology and don't expect it to be all easy for her to accept.
3. Take it slow
Take it slow, because it might take longer, but if you stay at it, you will definitely get your wife in your arms again.
4. Give assurance
At this point more than ever before, she needs reassurance. Always try to re-validate your love for her in the best ways possible. Action and expressions, chosen correctly are the best way to do this.
5. Keep things transparent
Don't make her suspicious with your words or actions. This is not the best time to go all out when making calls or start hiding stuff. Show it to her that you are making amendments. If you can, give her access to your phone, your social media accounts to keep things transparent. Remember that at this point, anything is bound to make her suspicious and most likely kill the romantic vibe once again.
6. Give gratitude and express your love for your wife to your inner circle
Regardless of whether your family or friends know about the past affair, show how much you appreciate your wife for being with you when you need and patiently waiting for you to "learn". Tell them that you love her and miss having more romance with her.
Who knows a little bird will fly over to her shoulders and whisper all these desires and appreciation to her? Sometimes, it's better to earn back her trust and love this way.
7. Pay attention to her
Did she cut her hair and changed her hairstyle? Compliment her and notice the small little changes that she did and express your love for her in this manner.
8. Keep the fire rekindled
Once the romance has been rekindled again, you have to keep the fire burning. Stay clear from any other affairs because this time, your wife might have been gone before you realize it.
Books On teaching You How To Rekindle Romance With Your Spouse
Nothing is new to us as humans for every path that is to be crossed has once been crossed. One way to learn and have that romance rekindled with your spouse is to read books. From books, writers are able to take you on a journey with relevant examples of how it is to be done. Here are 5 books that can help your quest to rekindle that romance with your spouse once again.
- Check out 'The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts' written by popular author Gary D. Chapman
- Also 'The Art of Falling in Love' by renowned writer - Joe Beam is a good read too
- You can also get some helpful tips from 'Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples, 20th Anniversary Edition' of Harville Hendrix
- To know what your spouse wants from you, 'His Needs, Her Needs; Building an Affair-Proof Marriage' By Willard F. Harley is a good book for every marriage.
- For heightened romantic experience with your spouse 'Come as You Are: The Surprising New Science that Will Transform Your Sex Life' written by Emily Nagoski is a perfect read.
In a world where technological advancement is at its peak, it would interest you to know that nothing replaces physical presence. Romance is a very vital part of every relationship and forms part of what keeps it going. However, just like a candle, it is likely to die for many reasons. At this point, you owe your wife a duty of rekindling the romance again.
With the tips provided above, you can make your love come alive once again. You can also read all the books recommended for they have been written by the best minds with notable impacts.