Finding out you’ve been cheated on is no easy feelings to deal with, you begin to question yourself and the status of your relationship with your significant other. Infidelity is prominent in our society today, and it has long been one of the major reasons why marriages and relationships fall apart. If your girlfriend cheats on you, its only natural to feel let down and disappointed, your trust is broken and all of your assumptions and expectations has been tampered with. Most infidelity ends up having a tremendous effect on one another, it stops you from moving on, forgiving and worst, leaving you deeply scarred.
Even though the situation mostly pushes you into taking drastic actions all at once, it’s advised to always step away from that atmosphere in order to think clearly and evaluate your relationship with that partner who has cheated on you. Is your relationship worth saving? Does your cheating girlfriend deserve another chance?
Communicate with your girlfriend and explain your disappointment and expectations going forward. Seek professional assistance by speaking to a therapist, support groups or good friends.
Ask Yourself Some Important Questions On Your Relationship
If you’ve been cheated on, especially by your girlfriend, it’s always important to stay true to yourself by asking yourself certain important questions such as this:
1. Has your girlfriend cheated on you before?
Most people go nuts when it comes to cheating, and yes, you shouldn't blame them. Getting your heart shattered into pieces is no easy feeling to handle. Even though there is this saying that “cheating is cheating”, it doesn’t help solve the major reason why cheating is occurring. Ask your self this important question, has your girlfriend cheated on you before? Has she cheated on the previous relationship?
For some people, cheating is a compulsive behavior which continues to happen over and over again. If that’s the case, then you shouldn’t beat yourself so hard and understand that it is less about you but more about the person.
2. Why did she cheat on you?
Even though a lot of times blames are more asserted to the one who had cheated, without questioning the major reason why a person will go ahead and cheat on his or her partner. Was it a one night stand or a situation where emotions has been invested, was it a one time slip off? You need to put yourself in your partners shoes and understand as to why your girlfriend will act in such a hurtful manner.
3. What was the state and nature of your relationship?
Was the relationship already on a rough patch, was your girlfriend unhappy and needing emotional support elsewhere? All these are contributing factors to why your girlfriend can cheat on you.
4. Should you have considered an open relationship?
Before committing to a person, you should have an honest conversation with them if they are monogamous or polyamorous. Some people find having and committing to one partner for a long period of time difficult. It’s more of a sexual preference rather than emotional. And not having this honest conversation can have a negative effect on your relationship with your partner.
5. Could I have done better
Not making excuses for a girl cheating on you, but sometimes your neglect and actions can push your partner to cheat on you unintentionally. Are you constantly working and committed with no and little time to your girlfriend. These little things can pile up and push a person into cheating.
4 Ways to deal with a cheating girlfriend
1. Confront Her
I know confrontation isn’t everybody’s style, especially when it involves the ones you love the most. Not all confrontations are negative, some can actually be positive and are much more needed in order to get past certain situations and scenarios.
If your relationship is extremely important to you and your partner, and you have no doubt the love was real, genuine and productive, then it becomes necessary to confront your girlfriend and have a conversation as to why the cheating took place and what’s the best way to get past this situation and move on. Talking about it, hearing them admit it and understanding why it occurred isn’t going to be easy, but it’s a step forward towards healing and moving on. Whatever decision you decide to take regarding the future of the relationship is all dependent on you and your partner. You need to listen deeply into your heart and make decisions that will be beneficial for both of you. You are entitled to decide to stay or walk away.
2. Leave Her
It’s logically for people to walk out on a relationship especially if they’ve been cheated on. Not everybody is strong enough to go through emotional trauma and yet find ways to efficiently deal with it. Even though the obvious reaction is to walk out on a relationship that has been through infidelity, it isn’t really the most logical thing to do. Walking off isn’t going to heal your wound or stop the hurt, but understanding what happened and how it can be prevented not just in this relationship, but in the future. When making decisions, try not to feed on people’s opinions and advice, make sure the decision you take is totally yours and not influenced by others.
Based on the questions above, you may have uncovered that your relationship has been going south and it was a matter of time the relationship will dissolve. Do you feel at ease to walk away from this relationship and start all over again? If yes, maybe it might be a good way to deal with a cheating girlfriend and let them heal your wound. Do take note to not bring over any unsettled unhappiness from this cheating experience to your new relationships.
3. Forgive Her
Forgiveness isn’t just about pardoning a person for his or her behavior and letting go of all the experience and hurt without holding a grudge. Well even though forgiveness is a spiritual form of freeing your heart from negativity, it should be earned not handed over on a platter. If your girlfriend cheats on you, it’s totally up to you to decide if you want to forgive or not. Is her apology sincere? Is she remorseful? Is this likely to happen again? All these are factors to really need to consider when trying to forgive a person for hurting you. Forgiveness will take time, it won’t happen in one day, but eventually, it will happen. You can seek help from professionals, close friends and relatives who won’t be judgy or take sides.
4. Hurt Her Back
Even though they say revenge is a dish best served cold, giving a cheating girlfriend a taste of her own medicine isn’t always the best solution to relieving yourself from the hurt you feel. When people hurt you, they’re taking power away from themselves and handing it over to you, and when you try to get back at them, you are doing the same. Hurting a person who had hurt you back the same way is going to give them reasons to justify their action.
Cheating can be a reoccurring pattern if not addressed properly. You shouldn't consider getting back at a person who cheated on you, but concentrates on healing and knowing what the next step is going to be, either moving on or working on the relationship.
Relationships are hard, and it requires constant work, commitment, dedication and communication. When things are starting to feel off, don’t brush it, instead have a conversation about it. If having that conversation can be uncomfortable, then you can ask for professional help from therapist or relationship experts to intervene and help you in conveying your message in a respectful way without hurting the other party. Be understanding and putting yourself in your girlfriend's shoe can better give you a better understanding as to why the relationship can take a different toll. Be appreciative of one another and at the same time being mindful and respectful towards your partner's feelings can help protect you from making huge mistakes like cheating.
When you’ve been cheated on, do not project and base the fault all on yourself, sometimes you might find yourself questioning if you’ve contributed to your girlfriend cheating on you, aren’t you good enough? Could you have prevented it? Dwelling on all these questions can only add more emotional stress on you, rather concentrate on ways you can get out of that situation and move forward.