The list of pre-marital questions to ask your partner before getting married
A marriage is a major commitment between two people who know that a lot may differ in their thoughts and feelings, but they are willing to make it work either way.
A lot of things can be adjusted after marriage, but why not figure these things out prior to tying the knot? Here is a list of questions to ask your partner and get to know them better before marriage and tackle any situation, good or bad with better planning.
Questions about the Relationship
This set of questions will give you an idea about how your partner feels about you two being together. A broader perspective comes to mind about the future and where would you both stand in the coming years.
1. Why are we getting married?
Ask yourselves what are you both this serious about your relationship that you want to get married? Spending the rest of your lives with someone is the thought that could use some reckoning.
2. What will we be doing in a few decades?
During the start of a relationship, everything seems like butterflies and rainbows, but in later life only love and affection won’t cut it. You both need to discuss the future and where would you stand in 30 years or so.
3. How will marriage affect our relationship?
With big decisions, come big changes. It’s impossible that nothing stays the way it were before. But it needs to be taken with a positive attitude and this is a chance to prepare for anything that’s to come for better or for worse.
4. What are your views on sex and intimacy?
No relationship can go on solely on the basis of meaningless sex. There needs to be love and affection to add passion to it. Frankly discuss the topic of sex and sexual activities that you both like and dislike. Also, how important is this for you? How often do you want to do it? What are your expectations?
Questions about Personal Habits
We all need a heads up on this kind of knowledge. Every person is different from the other, some habits you might like, some you’d probably want to change. Either ways, it’s best to ask them.
5. How often do you drink or smoke?
While you know or vaguely know how much your partner smokes or drink before marriage, this is a topic you can talk about -- on whether this lifestyle should continue after marriage, especially if family planning is on the way.
This can become a very serious topic of discussion if one of you is a chronic smoker or drinker. This reflects how casual someone is regarding their health and also, these things can affect the finances as well. Along with these two things, look out for other sorts of addiction or habits too.
6. How should we manage the household chores?
Managing the house is not a burden if done together. Learn more about your partner’s interests in maintenance if the house and little habits like making the bed, vacuuming, going for groceries, taking out the trash etc. These might seem like little issues but problems do arise from this. For example, even if one of you is a clean freak and the other is too lazy to pick up their dirty clothes, then imagine what will happen next.
7. Should we review any medical record and history?
Knowing about your partner’s medical history is very important. Many genetic diseases and conditions can affect their family afterwards. It’s better to discuss this with your spouse-to-be and get proper screenings of the doubtful conditions.
8. Let's talk about each other's temper
You would have a sense of how his/her temper is while in the relationship. However, it may be good to ask this question to have an honest opinion to understand one another better before going to the aisle.
Relationships can be very complicated at times, but that doesn’t mean it cannot be resolved. Know your partner’s mental capacity to take on something intense. Patience and tolerance are two things that can determine a person’s response to any hurdle that comes after marriage. Because before that, things are taken casually and anger outbursts are overlooked, but the same things become the basis of downfall for many types of relationships, even marriage.
Questions about Spiritual Beliefs
9. What is the role of religion in your life?
You need to know about your partner’s religious activities and how much part it plays in their life. It can be good for a relationship as far as the moral aspects are concerned. Sometimes conflict can be there too, but as long as these things are known beforehand, there’s not much to worry about as you have time to prepare for it.
10. Does spirituality and faith seem important to you?
Get inside your partner’s head and get to know their thoughts about different beliefs and norms. This can tell you a great deal about someone’s personality and how they perceive life and everything that‘s happening around them.
Questions about Finances
11. Are you a spender or a saver?
When you’re married, you have to think a little before spending too much on yourself and your luxuries. Another person and a home is bound to you and that automatically becomes the priority. So if you’re a saver, it might be a plus point for you but only if it’s in the acceptable range. But if you’re a spender, you need to bring down your expenditures a bit.
12. What are your thoughts about bank accounts and debts?
Some couples feel like having a joint account, who believe that there is no segregation of this sort once you’re married. On the other hand, some people want their own privacy and freedom of banking. Also ask your loved one if they have ever been in a debt or had outstanding fines? Maybe you need to clear out this mess and then think of getting married.
Questions about children and family
13. Do you want to have children? And when?
The most basic question of all, but holds a very deep meaning for someone who’s about to get married. Your partner might surprise you with their views about having kids. Children become a need after marriage for some people, but for others, not so much.
14. What does family mean to you?
Someone’s childhood can reveal so much about them. Ask yourselves how was their family like? Did you have a hard childhood? How do you feel about the in-laws? What was your role in your family and what role would you want to play when starting a new one?
15. What family problems are you afraid to encounter?
Discussing all the fears and concerns of your future husband/wife can give you a sense of trust and belongingness. This way you can get to know their inner feelings and also find out ways to avoid them in the future.
Marriage Questions Games to lighten the mood
It doesn’t always have to be serious and intense. Bring fun to your Q & A session, with cheesy games like these:
16. Never have I ever
We all have heard of this one. It’s a great way to pass time and get those stories out of someone. You can take turns by declaring stuff you’ve never done before. You will lose a point if your partner has done the thing you haven’t. This way you can learn a lot about your spouse and keep it interesting too.
17. Guessing game
If you think you know your partner, try out the guessing game by asking general questions like favorite movie character, favorite food, favorite series, color, car etc. You can even ask about the little habits like, what is the last thing you do when you go to bed? What is the cutest thing they like about you?
18. The truth or pepper
Here’s an interesting way to tease your spouse and get them ears burning. Ask your partner an intimate or difficult question and they’ll have to answer in truth or else they’ll have to take a bite of the hottest chili in the kitchen. Seems intense, right?
Immigration Marriage Questions
Here is a list of questions you can expect when applying for immigration as a married couple:
Your relationship history
- How did you meet?
- Where did some of your first dates take place?
- How long did you date before deciding to get married?
- What is the story of your marriage proposal?
- What was your wedding like?
- Who attended your wedding?
- What food was served?
- Were there any special rituals performed? If so, what kind?
- Did you go anywhere for your honeymoon? If so, where?
Your daily rountines
- What is daily life like for you and your spouse around the house?
- How do you start your day?
- How often do you text or talk on the phone when you’re apart?
- Which of you likes to cook?
- Which of you likes to clean?
Big events or celebrations
- When are your birthdays?
- What did you do to celebrate?
- What did you get each other as gifts?
- What’s the most important holiday of the year in your household, and where do you typically celebrate it?
Be open to the one you want to spend the rest of your life with. This is the time to ask questions, clear away any myths and create a stronger bond than ever. Communication is always the key to a better relationship, so ask away!