Serial Monogamy: Here Are Some Things You Should Consider

Do you find yourself in a relationship one right after another? Find out what serial monogamy is and what other dating styles there are in the world.

By Megan Kellstadt
Serial Monogamy: Here Are Some Things You Should Consider

Serial Monogamy: the Relationship Whore

Monogamy is the most commonly found form of relationship in both the modern day and past society. It is was found in the fairytales we read and most of our parents were in a monogamous relationship. You may have heard of this new term called serial monogamy. What is it and why is it on the rise? Many people give serial monogamy a bad wrap, but it does have its advantages. Keep reading to find out more.

We know what monogamy means, where two people commit to dating just each other and no one else. They commit to one another to not see other people, only each other, it is a sweet sentiment. Have you ever known a friend of yours, or maybe a coworker who always seems to be in one relationship after another? These type of people would be classified as a serial monogamist. The word serial is described as a series of events or installments. Serial monogamy may get such a bad name because of its association with serial killers. However, rest assured, serial monogamist is not like serial killers in any way. So what is a serial monogamist exactly? In essence, it is a person who goes from one monogamous relationship to another without much of a lag time, if any, between relationships. There are a few different names or labels given to people who live this kind of dating life. Some of the more well-known ones are the relationship hopper, or a bit more vulgar one is the relationship whore. Most often people assume it is a bad thing to be known as a serial monogamist. But let us look deeper into the psychology behind it before we judge someone.

Psychology behind Serial Monogamy

Serial monogamy can lead to marriage, but it may not always be a long-lasting marriage. Sure, the couple may be happy and content for a while but they soon feel like the person they are with is not fulfilling their needs and so they move on.

Many people believe that a serial monogamist doesn't take their relationships that seriously because they are always jumping from one to the next. This does make them seem flaky or unable to commit long term. Often times this person is seen as being indecisive or unreliable. But, if you sit down and talk with them, you begin to realize that they do take each and every relationship to heart. A serial monogamist believes in the idea of true, everlasting love. When they are with someone, they are always hoping that they will find it with that person. For some time, the serial monogamist may find true happiness with them. However, we have been taught this idea that romantic love is easy and you will be swept off your feet at the sight of someone. The first kiss will be magical and filled with fireworks bursting forth. Every touch from your beloved will make you tremble and weak kneed. We have all been in this position before, the beginnings of a relationship are always this exciting. The exhilaration of holding a person's hand for the first time, seeing their smile, hearing them laugh. The feeling of butterflies in your stomach when you see their name pop up on your phone. It is a great and entoxicating feeling. But after a while, that feeling disappears and the relationship may not feel as special. The glitter and glam drop away and you begin to see the real person. You might notice a few flaws that they have, or habits that you do not like or maybe, cannot even stand. So what happens next? Fighting starts to pick up, nagging one another because someone forgot to make a reservation. Phone calls and texts become fewer, time spent with each other becomes rarer. Until eventually, you break up. And then the search is on again for that one true, deep love. It is easy to understand why someone might become a serial monogamist.

Sociology behind Serial Monogamy

So, how does society view serial monogamy? We have talked a little bit about this, but let us get more in-depth. Back in the old days, it was socially acceptable, even expected to date one or two people and settle down fairly quickly. Monogamy was really the only style of relationship that was found in the dating world. Now a days things are different in the dating world. Monogamy is still around but it is more accepted to date several people before settling down. This is how serial monogamy started. People are encouraged to date around and meet a variety of individuals before they settle down and get married. It is commonly believed that if you meet lots of different people you will expose yourself to several personalities and lifestyles, which will help you figure out what you want in a life partner.

Types of dating relationships

As always, there are alternatives to serial monogamy, such as polygamy. Even inside this category there are different dating styles.

We have talked about monogamy and serial monogamy so let us talk about a few other types of dating styles. If a person is not dating one person at a time they would be classified as a poly person, inside this dating style, however, there are several different styles as well. There is polyamory, polygamy, polygyny, and polyandry. We will get more in-depth with the psychology and sociology of each type of these dating styles.

The psychology and sociology of Polygamy

Polygyny is when a man marries or dates several women at one time, it could be considered similar to serial monogamy because the man is constantly finding new relationships.

Another form of polygamy is polyandry, where a woman dates or marries several men at one time.

Polygamy is known as the practice of an individual who marries several spouses. It is often confused with polygyny, which is the practice of a man marrying several women. Polyandry is the lesser-known relationship in this marriage style, it is a woman who marries several men. Polyandry is less common than polygyny, mainly because most societies that practice this marriage style are male-dominated. This type of relationship has a complicated and often looked down on history. And some of those reasons are good reasons, abuse and indoctrination should not be tolerated. If we look at how polygamy is defined and how it can be advantageous, we might have a different view. Some of the advantages of polygamy are mainly that, there are several adults around to assist in the raising of the children. How many times have you heard your own mother wish she had more hands to get things done or to help wrangle the kids? In polygamy, it is already built in. It also provides more opportunity for children to be produced, which helps pass on the family tree. It has been argued that humans are not meant to be a strictly monogamous society. In reality, we should really consider each person based off of themselves rather than as a society as a whole. It should be noted that polygamy is typically related to religious beliefs and practices. However, even in societies that allow this type of marriage, it is not as common.

The Psychology and Sociology of Polyamory

Polyamory could be considered the most extreme version of serial monogamy, because everyone is dating everyone. Love is love.

Polyamory is similar to polygamy but it does have some major differences. Polyamory is the practice of dating several people at once, but the biggest difference is that it does not apply only to one person. For example, a man may date several people at one time, while those he is dating also date several people at the same time. It kind of is like a big group love kind of dating style. Inside the world of polyamory, there are also different styles, but these are better discussed at another time. Polyamory has the same advantages as polygamy does, mainly in the aspect that there are several adults around to help with chores or raising the children. It may also be slightly more accepted than polygamy because it does not restrict one of the genders in the dating or marriage relationship.

Serial Monogamy: the Future of the Dating World

Nowadays, we all know how difficult it is to find someone we like, much less even get along with, so what does this mean for us? Are we all doomed to live life as a serial monogamist or to be perpetually single? In some ways, it seems like serial monogamists' might have it right, with all the dating around and getting to know different people. It could lead to a long-term relationship at some point. And, it seems that they have a good grasp on what they are looking for in a partner, even with all the relationship hopping. But if you really think about it, we all may have a bit of a serial monogamist in us, no matter the type of dating style we choose to accept or how we live our lives. Those who practice poly style relationships seem to not be able to decide on just one person to love at one time. Therefore, they choose to date several people, just like a serial monogamist would, only they do it all at once. You have to admit, those who live this lifestyle, have to have good communication and time management skills. Because how else would a person be able to manage that many relationships all at once? Despite the rather vulgar names serial monogamists' have, you can not blame them for how they live their lives. The passion and rush of excitement with every new person are hard to give up. Not to mention, the ever ending search to find life's one true love is always a good quest.