Do I Love Him Or Do I Only Love The Idea Of Him

Love, the hardest topic of all. Even the best scientists can't say for sure they have mastered how love works, or maybe it's not even science. So many times we think we are in love, but as soon as it doesn't work out, we seem to move on just fine. Then there're also times when we think we only have good feelings about someone, but when they leave our lives forever, it hurts more than a breakup. How can you tell if you just like him or if you actually love him?

Love makes people selfish. It's a very natural response to desire someone and wants to have that person completely. The first sign you can tell is by noting how jealous you are when he is with another girl. Jealousy is a strong sign. If you only like him, you will just want to spend more time with him because you enjoy his company and when he is hanging out with someone else you will be bumped out, hoping that he will be available soon. Just like how you feel with a friend.

On the other hand, if you love him, you will get antsy, thinking about who he is with and how long they've known each other. Tiny million questions popping in your head. Even knowing that they are just pure friends would still set you off and you will probably have the urge to stalk her on social media. Trust is important but at the same time, people are surprised by how much they can love someone when they realize how jealous they can be.

Another sign, which is probably the strongest sign of all, is how much you see himself in your future. Don't worry if you don't even think about your own future. You don't need to have a 5-year or 10-year plan with him. Even if you are not a planner and don't plan past 6 months ahead, do you see him in the 6 months? Do you see him in the foreseeable future that you see?

It's not about making long term plans but about seeing someone in any future with you. You can only plan ahead 3 months for yourself but if you want to plan the future you see with him, you are so in love. If you just want to see him if it's convenient for you but don't want to effort to make your plans for him, then you just like him but it's not so much about love.

Love requires effort whereas liking someone makes you happy because everything just flows in place without too much effort. 'Like' won't last unless you make an effort, which makes it love. Are you willing to make the effort?

Do you want him completely or do you just want his body? Telling lust from love isn't exactly the hardest if you could just take a step back and evaluate your situation rationally.

Loving someone means accepting who they are and their past, which might not be the easiest. It could hurt to accept a certain aspect in their life but love gives you the courage to do so. Lust only makes you desire his body and his attention. You want to feel special and attractive but you don't really care too much about his personal life, his stories and his qualities.

Both love and lust will make you want to spend time with him because it's exciting and it boosts your self-esteem to be with him, but only love will let you accept him completely and want to hear his stories and his past.

Love is unconditional. We don't want to feel that we have to hold back our love when we truly love someone. Showing him 100% of your love is sweet, but is there such thing as loving someone too much?

The answer is yes. As cliche as it might be, you can't lose yourself when loving someone. You have to love yourself first before loving someone.

Love is about making a future together. Future, where do you see yourself in the future? One day he comes to you and tells you that he has to spend the next 5 years on an island to work, will you just drop everything you have and you love just to be with him? What about your dream?

You can only love someone 100% when you have learned to love yourself 100%. If you love yourself, you will know to guard your dreams and passions while figuring out a solution with him. If you just dive into it, giving everything you have up, then you have lost yourself.

No one truly can't live without someone. You were doing just fine before you met him. No one is worth giving up your dreams for. You only live once. Love is about making dreams together, not giving up yours. Anytime you feel you have to give yourself up to be with him and you're willing to do it, you should read this again and tell yourself that you are beautiful and the world has so much to offer to you if you would just hold on to your dreams.

Never lose yourself for someone else. He is not the right person for you if you have to lower your needs and wants. Always remember that compromising is different than giving up your dreams and the latter is something you should never do. You only live once. Live it to the fullest for yourself, not for someone else.

Media has taught us that love is all we need in life, life isn't complete until you find someone to complete it. So often, we love the idea of having someone than the person we love. Is he replaceable? Are you just as happy to have someone else as your boyfriend?

I'm sure you have doubts about him deep down inside of you if you're still reading. What are your doubts and why haven't you left him yet? Is it because you don't want to be alone and you're scared you are letting go of something too good that you will never find again?

Feeling that way already tells you that you just want someone to fill the void. It doesn't have to be him, just anyone that's willing to give you that. In that case, you only love the idea of him more than him as a person.

Figuring out if you love him or the idea of him isn't the hardest part. The hardest part is to decide what you want to do with it. All I can say is, there are so many guys out there and surely many will fit you and you can fill your void with them. Do you really want to be stuck here and not take the chance to find someone that not only fills your void but your soul too?

Staying with someone just to fill the void will cause you problems to solve every day, whereas staying with someone because you love him will let you see so many different possible futures that you can have. Spending most of your time trying to force something that doesn't fit is already a clear answer to you. You just choose to ignore it because you don't want to be alone.

1. I wanted to show you my love by giving you all of me, but as it turns out, I need to have all of me in order to love you

2. I've been waiting for so long to have someone in my life that I just want to force you in even when you don't fit

3.  I thought you could complete me but only I could complete myself

4. It hurts me to realise that the only love I have for you is how much I love your love for me

5. I don't want to make my future for you. I want to make our future together

Love is the only class with no reference book. You can figure out how you truly feel with all these signs and tips, but ultimately, what you want to do with those feelings is completely your decision to make. We are always here to guide you but we can't tell you what to do at the end of the day. You have to find out what will make you happy the most, that's what life is all about. Let's hope this article at least helped shed some lights on your issues so your path will become clearer.