How to tell someone you love them for the first time
‘You should only say ‘I love you’ after two months,
Never say it before, during or after sex
Don’t be the first one to say it… and so on and so forth
So goes the mysterious and utterly confusing world of telling someone that you love them. It’s exciting and hella scary but you just wanna get it out there and let that special someone how you feel.
It’s intimidating to put yourself out there in such a big way and not knowing how your big news will be taken which is why there is so much confusion as to ‘when is the right time to tell your partner that you love them?’ And exactly how do you say it without scaring them away?
Timing is everything
Timing isn’t everything but it is important. You can meet today and state your declarations tomorrow as you look in their eyes and see your entire future spanned out in them or you can be together for a span of time before you feel comfortable enough to speak your heart.
The most important thing is to make sure that you do feel the love and that you’re ready to say it. Do not feel pressured into saying the three magic words even if you feel that your partner is ready to hear them if you are not ready to say them.
And make sure that you are sincere in your words because a false declaration of love could end up hurting your partner in the long run.
Now that we’ve tackled the issue of timing, how do you tell your partner that you love them? On the one hand, you want them to know just how deep you feel and that you’re completely serious about them but on the other hand, you don’t want to scare them away with the intensity and you definitely want to make sure that after you say it, there isn’t some weird awkward silence.
1. Take their feelings into consideration
Your partner has a past with these three words and it’s important to remember that before they come tumbling out of you. Be sensitive to their feelings because you’re trying to take things to the next level and not end them. You don’t have to use big words or plan some elaborate dinner, just make it special for the two of you so he can remember it always.
2. Your actions reflect your words
You can’t be preparing to tell someone that you love them but all you’ve been doing is blowing them off and showing a lack of interest in the relationship. Showing love and affection goes a long way in communicating your feelings.
a) Look him in the eye
If you’re doing it in person it’s definitely a plus if you say the words while looking him in the eye so he knows that you’re not just plating and that it is serious.
Take a calming breath in and out and relax your body because non-verbal cues are pretty strong and a body so tight with anxiety may make the situation a little awkward.
3. Get creative
You don’t have to go crazy planning something special, but if you want to make it memorable and special to the two of you, then go ahead and do it. You could do it in a song, poem or whatever leisure activity you both enjoy.
How to tell someone you love them in a letter
Letters have been a great way to communicate your feelings from time immemorial. Letters are sweet, romantic, sensitive and are tokens of memories that your partner can show to your future generations when they ask.
Writing a letter to show your love can seem like a monumental task especially if it’s your first time, lucky for you we got a whole article on some of the most romantic love letters ever written so you can get inspired.
4. Speak from the heart
The language of love is easy to get because all you have to do is speak from the heart. Or in this case, write. You already know what you want to say. Just picture your love in front of you and write that letter as if you were saying the words to them in person
5. Keep it simple and interesting
No one wants to read an overly long letter written in a boring confusing language and leading to no particular point. Keep your grammar and sentences simple and stick to the things they’ll understand. It’s always a good idea to plan out what you’re gonna write first before having the final draft. These are forever memories, you want to leave a perfect impression, no pressure.
How to tell someone you love someone you love them in a text
Ah, the world of short messaging. Lucky for us, this generation is almost too good at communicating via gadgets but the one thing we’re always afraid of is telling someone how we feel, face to face or not.
6. Keep it simple
Much like in a letter, these are written words and you need to keep it simple. Prepare them mentally with a few sweet texts so they won’t go into panic mode when you hit them with the big words. Be sensitive and romantic just like you would in person, or more but don’t get too cheesy.
7. Give them time to respond
The great thing about texts is that there is a back and forth and you don’t have to lay it out in one long text, you can divide your ideas and feelings into little sweet texts and give them time to respond so you can tell if they are ready for it or not.
How to tell someone you love someone as a friend
There is nothing that hurts more than unrequited love. And even worse they love you as a friend. No one wants that so if you find yourself in such a situation you need to be sensitive because this is someone’s heart on the line.
8. Use sensitive but firm language
You are passing a clear message that you do not harbor any romantic feelings towards them but you don’t need to make the situation any worse than it already is. Use kind but firm words in relaying your message and just let them know that you’re available as a friend but nothing more.
9. Do not give mixed signals
It’s bad when it’s a person you’ve been friends with for quite some time and perhaps some boundaries have been crossed. Do not tell them that you love as a friend but at the same time your hands are everywhere or you’re making it appear as if there might be a chance with them.
If there is, then well and good, but if there isn’t make it clear so you don’t lead them on and have them wait for an impossible love. The word here is tough, firm, love.
How to tell someone you love them more
It’s cute when you and your partner have a thing going back and forth telling each other that your love is greater than theirs, what’s not cute is when that’s actually true and you have to talk about it.
10. Be sensitive
Remember they do love you, just not as much you might want them to. Be sensitive with the words you use to avoid feeling ambushed and the talk bearing negative results to what you wanted. Plan what you’re going to say ahead of time and make sure that you keep your emotions in check and instead express them using healthy communication.
Saying ‘I love you’ is like figuring out rocket science to most of us. There are so many rules out there about when the right time is and how exactly you should say it but different things work for different people and whatever you feel will work for you, go for it!