The Big Fat Difference Between Love Vs Infatuation

Take notes to understand the difference of love and infatuation

By Joseph T
The Big Fat Difference Between Love Vs Infatuation

Remember the last time you ran into someone you find very attractive. You might have stammered, your palms and hands might have sweated, you might have even said something irrational and might have even tripped while trying to walk away. Your heart is definitely thudding in your chest, it is however not a surprise because for decades people have misunderstood love for lust and infatuation. Love is thought to arise from the heart, it however, turn out that love is just all about the brain – this engender the rest of your body system to go haywire.

The Science of Love, Infatuation and Lust

Scientists in the discipline ranging from neuroscience to anthropology have overtime deduced that the science behind love, infatuation and lust is quite simpler and very much complicated than we think.  Lust is said to be driven by the desire for sexual satisfaction. The hypothalamus of the human brain plays a significant role in Lust, stimulating the process of the sex hormone known as estrogen and testosterone from the ovaries and testes. 

Lust is recognized as a psychological force producing an intense wanting for an object, for someone or in fulfilling an emotion. A person can lust for money, power and even for sexuality. However, lust can shut down the pre-frontal cortex of the human brain to including rational behavior. Love is quite distinct, although a closely related phenomenon. Love involves the brain pathways that control your entire behavior. It is a feeling that explains your reaction and emotions for the first weeks or months of any relationship.

When you genuinely love someone it's so exhilarating and even time-consuming. The Dopamine produced by the hypothalamus plays a significant role in Love. A high level of related hormone, norepinephrine and dopamine are released when you are in love. These released chemicals make you giddy and energetic leading to decreased insomnia and appetite – implying that you can actually be so in love that you can’t even sleep or eat.  Furthermore, infatuation is a moment of getting carried away by an addictive love.   The two primary hormones include the vasopressin and oxytocin.

When infatuated with an object or with someone, you become lost in the feeling of a complicated desire. Infatuation involves anxiety, urgency, intensity, nervousness and it allows you to make risky decisions and neglects people and things you value. Infatuation allows you to make a commitment in order to satisfy your irresistible lust. Under infatuation, the brain chemistry controls the person instead of the heart. It is however not real, as it is only a short fixed just like drugs. Specifically, infatuation is an extreme admiration, passion, and love that are regarded as stupid.  It is a temporary love of a teenager, and it is an object of extravagant short-lived desire.

The Psychology of Love and Infatuation

Infatuation is naturally fueled by chemicals, false ideals, and hormones tossed around like waves in a storm.  On the other hand, love is grounded, unwavering, and consistent and has more to do with a deep sense of commitment than just mere emotions.

Love is a feeling that doesn’t falter even though your spouse forgot to call you or said something wrong. While infatuation is transactional in nature, in that the action of the people involved is fueled by how they make each other feel. 

Love is considered selfless.  Marriage counselors and married couples that have lived together for years have continually stated that love is a daily decision to stay committed and faithful to your spouse, without expectation of anything. Infatuation, on the other hand, terminates once the chemistry decreases while love endures even what you don’t like at all.

In summary, infatuation is hinged on artificial attributes while love is hinged on foundational attributes. It is impulsive (Infatuation) while love is very patient. Love is one of the most visionary, rooted and clarifying convictions you can have about another person. Its (Love) takes time to meticulously explore all of the characteristics of a person and it tends to understand the worth of dedicating a life that involves efforts, time and efforts. 

Specifically, Love looks beyond a person’s attributes and aims at understanding the complex layers of a romantic spouse soul and heart.  While love is not selfish, infatuation, on the other hand, clouds perception and it is rooted in confusion and brash decisions. It (Infatuation) demands its needs are met immediately as it regarded short-lived. However, infatuation might feel good for a moment, but it is nothing compared to love.

True Love – What is it?

What is love all about? Every being on this earth want to know what truth really means and a lot of person thinks they can feel it once it happens. Nevertheless, love is defined as an intense feeling of affection for another being, which implies that you see someone as desirable and awesome hinged on your experience, judgments, and belief. The reaction of love is a neurological condition where you feel bonded to someone else or doing something and when we feel committed to someone else. The human brain tends to release chemicals known as serotonin, norepinephrine, vasopressin, and dopamine; all of these chemicals engender humans to feel physical sensations and loving thoughts.

In particular, true love is recognized as the state you find yourself, most especially when you feel attached, happy and connected with someone else. It is also a state where you feel an undying sense connection with another person, regardless of whatever happens. In addition, true love is all about meeting with your spouse’s expectations, loving each other with acceptance, support and trust and treating your spouse with the kind of respect they truly deserve. It is also about the way you perceive that person.

Below are signs of true love to watch out for:

  • There is thorough respect.
  • You both care about each other’s welfare and expectation.
  • You accept his/her flaws completely.
  • There is kindness.
  • There is a trust.
  • You both are dedicated to enhancing the relationship.
  • Promises are never broken.
  • His/Her happiness makes you feel awesome.
  • Willing to support during the hard times.

14 Quotes on Love and Infatuation

 “Red is such an interesting color to correlate with emotion because it's on both ends of the spectrum. On one end you have happiness, falling in love, infatuation with someone, passion, all that. On the other end, you've got obsession, jealousy, anger, fear, and frustration”.

Taylor Swift


“I don't know if love exists, not the kind that keeps. I think love's an infatuation that turns into a habit because you can't keep that passion going. You get used to people, and that's death for me - I like to be surprised”.



“Yes, I was infatuated with you: I am still. No one has ever heightened such a keen capacity of physical sensations in me. I cut you out because I couldn't stand being a passing fancy. Before I give my body, I must give my thoughts, my mind, my dreams. And you weren't having any of those.”

Sylvia Plath


“I had to touch you with my hands, I had to taste you with my tongue; one can't love and do nothing.”
Graham Greene


“I crush her against me. I want to be part of her. Not just inside her but all around her. I want our rib cages to crack open and our hearts to migrate and merge. I want our cells to braid together like a living thread.”
Isaac Marion


“When you develop an infatuation for someone you always find a reason to believe that this is exactly the person for you. It doesn’t need to be a good reason. Taking photographs of the night sky, for example. Now, in the long run, that’s just the kind of dumb, irritating habit that would cause you to split up. But in the haze of infatuation, it’s just what you’ve been searching for all these years.”

Alex Garland


“Infatuation is not quite the same thing as love; it's more like love's shady second cousin who's always borrowing money and can't hold down a job.”
Elizabeth Gilbert


“You've gotta dance like there's nobody watching,
Love like you'll never be hurt,
Sing like there's nobody listening,
And live like it's heaven on earth.”
William W. Purkey


“You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.”
Dr. Seuss


“Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.”
 Martin Luther King Jr.


“I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you simply, without problems or pride: I love you in this way because I do not know any other way of loving but this, in which there is no I or you, so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand, so intimate that when I fall asleep your eyes close.”
Pablo Neruda


“Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up.”
 Neil Gaiman


“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength while loving someone deeply gives you courage.”
Lao Tzu


“There is never a time or place for true love. It happens accidentally, in a heartbeat, in a single flashing, throbbing moment.”
Sarah Dessen

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Love and being in love remains the real deal. Love requires a lot of work as compared to infatuation and lust because anything that has an opportunity at surviving needs nurturing. Every human experience, in both emotional and mental health, infatuation might be something to stay clear of, if possible.