Breakup is never an easy feat – for those doing the dumping and for those being dumped. Many avoid doing the deed just because of how difficult and painful it is.
We enter into relationships hoping it would last. We want it to last, so we work for it. A relationship is an investment wherein you expect a return as its value increases. It is like a garden where you sow and toil, waiting for a harvest. But what if the returns aren’t what you expected? What if they yielded more bad than good?
Dating is all about finding compatibility. You discover someone with the same interests, or you really want to be with someone because you’re attracted to them. At the dating stage, however, people tend to put their best foot forward, and it is only during the relationship stage that we discover more about our partners.
While everyone will have something they dislike about their partners, a bad habit, a belief or value that clashes with yours, and the like, there are red flags that cannot be tolerated.
Eventually, you find yourself at a crossroads, you make your pros and cons list, and you ponder very hard to figure out whether or not you should leave. You think that you could be making a rash decision, yet you also do not want to continue on the same path.
The following are some signs that could guide you in deciding to end a relationship.
Clear Signs that You Need to Breakup in a Relationship
If your partner cheated on you or vice versa, the option to end the relationship is easy to take. When the lines are crossed, you won’t think twice about parting ways. However, it isn’t the case when no one did anything particularly awful.
For those who don’t have “unhealthy” relationships yet wish to end their relationship, read on below for some confirmation.
Signs to Break Up a Long Term Relationship
A long term relationship is especially difficult to end because of your shared past. You’ve invested so much time, effort, and money into the relationship that ending it would seem like a waste. Yet, you wonder why you still consider ending the relationship.
1. You’re drained
You entered the relationship to be with a partner. However, when that person has become someone you take care of like a child, then you will be drained – physically, mentally, and emotionally.
You don’t hate the guy, but you see him more of an obligation and responsibility than someone you are attracted to and can depend on. You shudder at the thought of having to take care of him in that way for years to come.
If you feel relieved every time you’re away from your partner and feel like a burden is returned on your shoulders when you’re together, it may be time to consider breaking up.
2. You’ve fallen out of love
While it is typical for the honeymoon period to end and you and your partner fall into a peaceful routine of togetherness, falling out of love is not an option.
Apathy is the opposite of love. When you don’t feel anything towards your partner – love, hate, annoyance, and the like – then the fires that fuel your relationship have died down. Not caring about your partner, not being attracted to him, seeing him as another person and not someone special and not thinking about him when you’re not together are some clues that indicate a falling out of love.
When you don’t have the energy nor the motivation to fix how you feel is the ultimate sign to look out for. If you don’t value or respect your partner enough to ask about your relationship, then you don’t see it worthwhile anymore.
3. The future isn’t clear
Being in a relationship with someone is meant to last. Talks about the future will pop up, and they are unavoidable. The question is, “How do you feel when your partner talks about the future with you?”
Are you excited or dubious, doubtful, and anxious? There’s no running away from this topic, especially in a long-term relationship. When you think about the future with your partner, such as moving in, marriage or kids, and you are afraid or worse, you don’t see them in it; then it might be time to have the talk.
An unclear future usually comes after falling out of love with your partner and will be an effect of you both falling farther apart.
Signs to Break Up a Long Distance Relationship
A type of relationship that isn’t suited for everyone is a long-distance one. This relationship is tricky and requires a lot of trust and work for it to succeed. Others were made for this while the rest are better off single (no offense).
If you are in a long-distance relationship and having doubts, do read on for some signs that could help you with your decision to fight for the relationship or break things off.
4. Diminishing communication
For a long-distance relationship to work, it must be founded on communication and honesty. How else are two people in love going to maintain their relationship if they cannot be with each other physically?
Regardless of your time zones, your schedules, and everything in between, a long-distance relationship must make communication a top priority. You can’t have physical dates, you can’t get naughty under the covers, and you can’t physically be with one another; therefore, you must stay connected through communication.
A sign that your relationship is experiencing some trouble is when you don’t stay in touch. When excuses are thrown left and right, your regular Skype video calls are getting postponed, and you would rather chat than call, then these are alarming signs that you and your partner are drifting apart.
Do take note that one cannot assume that something is wrong and resort to breaking up the relationship just because of the lack of communication. Your partner might really be busy due to a big project, or they aren’t feeling well and therefore couldn’t be as responsive as before.
Only when communication is on a steady decrease, could we start asking why.
5. Diverging paths
You and your partner might have chosen an LDR because of different career opportunities too good to pass or due to a reason that demands your prompt attention or something that is temporary. This is understandable and acceptable.
The important thing about a long-distance relationship is mutual goals. You might be separated now, but both are working at better jobs to save money for marriage or moving in together in your dream country. These goals give you and your partner a purpose to strive for.
However, when those goals start diverging, and you or your partner sees other opportunities that the other cannot accept or compromise for, then there are some hard questions to face.
6. You’ve found another
More often than not, LDRs end because of another person coming into the picture that destroys your relationship. What more is that this person could never exist, but one partner starts doubting the other of cheating.
We are human, and we quickly get attracted to others – especially those that we can physically see, touch, feel, and be with.
If you’re suspicious of your partner having found another, the only way to address the issue is to ask him point blank. You would know if your partner is lying. Give them space, time, and the full opportunity to explain, without you butting in or assuming anything. From there, you both can decide on the next steps of the relationship.
If you’re the one who’s found someone else, then there is some confessing to do. You owe it to your partner not to keep them hanging, and you owe it to yourself to avoid the drama and mess before things blow out of control.
Long-term and long-distance relationships could be the hardest relationships to manage, but at the same time, yield the most satisfaction when hurdles and challenges are overcome.
Trust, communication, and honesty are the pillars of these relationships, and if one falls, the rest follows. In the end, if there are too many issues that piled up and causing much friction in the relationship, the decision is left to you and your partner to try and work things out or go separate ways.