How To Get A Third Date And 10 Ideas To Make It Successful

First dates can be anxiety-inducing for even the most confident and self-assured from among us – Will conversation flow smoothly or will there be awkward silences? Will, there be undeniable chemistry, or will you be counting down the minutes till you can go home? Scoring a second date usually means, the first one went well enough that the other person is willing to humor you some more, but a third date means more than that! A third date means the other person wants to see where this goes and considers you a real option, in essence, a third date is a gateway into a relationship, and if you really like someone you have been on a two-date journey with, you really want to bag that third date.

There are a few things you can do to maximize the chances of success and minimize the chances of being left high and dry! And success is all in playing your cards right both during the first two dates and in the time between and after them! If you don’t do any blunders, you should both feel comfortable meeting casually or even entering a relationship; but just as easily a third date can end any and all potential by being too overwhelming or just not enough.

By the third date, ideally, you should be comfortable enough to not feel an overwhelming need to perform socially and it should naturally be more casual and flow smoother than the other two dates do. However, third dates aren’t too late for your potential partner to decide they are, in fact, not interested. A bad third date is a flat line – the thrill of meeting someone new is gone and now you seem to be bored out of your mind and seem to have to carry the weight of the conversation by yourself. A bad date features an awkward physical distance with no touch in terms of body language. Maybe one of you disagrees passionately on something and it ruins the mood or breaks the vibe. At best, bad third dates are civil but boring, at worst they can include one of you sneaking or storming out on the other person. Do not expect sex on the third date – a nightmare third date would be having a pushy partner who doesn’t respect your boundaries. Yikes!

It’s very important to remember you are not in a relationship yet – do not smother your partner with messages and calls between and after the first and second date. This is a great way to have your date decide you’re too needy and they don’t want to meet you again! A great way to ask for a third date is to tell your partner you have had a great time and would like to meet again for dinner or a fun activity. Be respectful and mysterious and if the first two dates were anywhere from decent to great, you’ll have scored yourself date numero tres.

It’s a great idea to use the third date as an opportunity to interact in more than a formal setting. Cooking together is a great opportunity to get physically comfortable around your date and do something together. On a cold winter night, some chocolate fondue would be fun! Or perhaps make some hot chocolate after a meal and talk while enjoying physical proximity and opportunities to be tactile. Physical chemistry is a make or breaks for a third date!

Doing fun activities with your partner on the third date is a great way to make the third date exciting and not just a drawn-out extension to the first and second dates. Ice skating is fun and silly enough to involve a lot of touch and laughter. Stabilizing your partner on their skates is also an excellent excuse to hold their hand in public and make your intentions clear.

If both you and your partner are outdoorsy – maybe go on a winter hike together – winter hikes offer the best views that are extremely romantic and will be another way to spend dynamic time getting to know your partner without letting it get boring.

Splitting the bill or alternatively paying for each other is a sweet, little routine couple fall into when they get into a long-term relationship – over time. However, the third date is the absolute worst time for a gentleman to let the lady pick up the tab. Sounds old school, but these little things matter. The third date is not a time to forget your chivalry and upbringing. This fosters feelings of compassion and respect in your partner and will give her a reason to want to meet you again – if only to return the favor. 

 Irrespective of the weather, the third date calls for a fine dining experience. First and second dates can be as noncommittal as grabbing drinks but if you pull the same strategy on the third date you’re in for a bad time. Third dates are interviews for a relationship – don’t slack up or forget your manners and you’re in for a great ride.

Summer gives you great weather to sit outdoors and enjoy an Instagrammable brunch with your partner. If both of you are morning people. A brunch can be a fun meet up that can extend into a full day hang out if you’re both having a great time! It’s also a fresh change from meeting in the dark of night.

This is another tip that is not tied to the weather but evergreen in the dating apartment. Listen to her stories and remember details – that’s a great way to let someone know you’re interested. Bring up something she mentioned in the first two meetups. This is sure to make your partner feel valued and heard. A third date is way too soon to slack on your manners, do not check your phone while she talks and makes eye contact. A wandering eye, while she talks, is a big deal breaker!

The first and second dates are more formal and awkward, and it is normal for them to have quite some small talk. But by the third date, you want to enter the more substantial territory. Be genuine and open and use this off-script opportunity to really be yourself and explore your compatibility. However, be mindful to not use this as an excuse to overshare – don’t lug out the deepest darkest parts of your life and demand emotional labor from your date. Talk about meaningful things – but with boundaries!

Summer gives you great weather to spend time outdoors with your date – make the most out of this! If your date expresses a love of nature, pack a picnic and spend some time at a park. This is intimate and powerful because it is not formal and allows you to glimpse into what the other is like outside of the formal date night setting. Have fun taking pictures and sharing stories and maybe go on a nice walk after!

Third dates require you to put in an effort but not try too hard – find a nice intimate spot to spend time together! A place where you can maybe experience a cuisine one of you haven’t tried and, in a space, where you feel comfortable being physically affectionate. Physicality, on the third date, is very important in establishing sexual interest unless wanting the “friendzone” but, of course, while being cognizant of the other’s boundaries.

Third days are important but try not to let that stress you out. Your date clearly had a good enough time to want to meet you again. Be respectful, be pleasant and meaningful, be flirty and establish sexual interest and remember to have a good time!