9 Witty Ways To Get A Guy To Ask You Out Without Him Knowing

So smart ass that he didn't know he asked you for a date!

By Hana O.
9 Witty Ways To Get A Guy To Ask You Out Without Him Knowing

Let's say you were out for girl's night, and you bump into a cute guy on your way to the ladies' room. You chat for a bit, and in a matter of minutes, you've laughed so much and even activated that thrilling feeling of attraction. You part ways, and that was it. Even though the bar is small, and it wasn't difficult to meet again, you don't. The feeling of connecting with someone and then realizing that it probably wasn't mutual is disappointing. What could have gone wrong?


Luckily, there is a way to subtly manipulate the flow of conversation or direction so that the guy will remain interested, especially during the critical early stages of getting to know one another. Let's take a look at the different ways one can get what she wants without looking desperate and eventually achieve a win-win situation because he might have been looking for a confirmation of interest from you all along.

Save Yourself From Embarrassment By Directly Asking Him Out

Of course, the best way to check if a guy likes you or not is to ask him for a date directly. If he says yes, then that's your confirmation. If he politely turns you down but has a valid excuse, then you wait a bit.


However, if he rejects your invitation point-blank, then this might be a sign that the feeling isn't mutual. Aside from the embarrassment from the whole ordeal, the experience is devastating. Don't lose hope, because feelings change. Even if he turns you down today and eventually sees your true nature as you work together or through indirect mediums like friends who talk, he might be the one to ask you out in the future.

9 Witty Ways to Get a Guy to Ask You Out

Over text

Getting a guy to ask you out through text requires a skill that needs mastering. It is extra challenging because you do not get to see his reactions to your messages. It is also difficult to deliver your point without the risk of misunderstanding or coming off as too aggressive.


The key is to keep the message simple and straightforward, leaving not much room for someone to "read between the lines."

"Hey, I'm in (insert a place) with some friends, and I remember you live in the area? Wanna grab some drinks and hang with us a bit?"

This text is subtle and innocent. First, you remember where he lived, which will show that you are interested because you remember important details. Second, it's not a date-date. You're with friends, and you merely hinted you wanted to spend time and relax. This invitation is perfect for guys who get intimidated at the thought of an intimate one-on-one date. You also get to observe him as he mingles with your friends, which is a plus.

"Let's talk more over coffee, yes?"

While this text might seem direct, it needs a prelude. For example, you've been texting all day, and the conversation was getting heated wherein you were pro zombie apocalypse while he was more of an alien invasion kinda guy. A topic such as this will need a physical meeting to discuss. (Honestly, any topic will do).


Chances are, the invitation will bring a smile on his face because it was delivered so smoothly and nonchalantly – he has no choice but to accept!


Now it's time to decide what to wear for that date!

"I am so bored! My mind is just not working right now. Accompany me for a quick break? I'll treat you to a sundae (insert cheeky emoji)"

This text is perfect for a workmate you're interested in. Best delivered during the afternoon workplace lull, this text could be considered as a saving grace for you and the guy. And who can say no to a free treat alongside some needed distraction from work?


Yes, it looks like you did all the inviting, but look at it this way – you planted the seed; now let the plant grow. You took the first step, let him take the next ones.

In person

Getting a guy to ask you out in person is a different playing field entirely. It requires experience and practice – yes, there will be quite a few failed attempts and embarrassing moments – hopefully, the target finds this cute and endearing every time, right?

Be approachable

This is key to getting a guy to come within your peripherals. If you look like a lioness about to pounce on prey, then don't expect anyone to come near you. This is all about how you look, from what you're wearing to how you're sitting or standing. Facial expressions are equally important.


Make sure you're properly and modestly dressed for the occasion, smile, make eye contact, do not shy away from a conversation, and don't be too rigid. Let him know you're friendly, open-minded, and fun. Oh, and if he doesn't ask outright, hint that you're single by saying (at the appropriate moment) that you have more free time compared to your friends in relationships because you're not in one.

Make suggestions

If the topic reaches hobbies and interests, and you discover quite a few mutual connections, it's time to suggest engaging in a hobby together. For example, both of you are trekkers, and he mentions a particular area where he's been to that you've been eyeing to explore. You can say, "Oh, you've been to (insert place)? I've always wanted to go there, but my friends and I seem to always clash in available schedules...How was it? I hear it's gorgeous." Let him talk about the experience, and by the end of the conversation, he should have invited to bring you there himself.

Ask questions

Showing a guy interest by asking questions and getting to know him is a great way to boost his confidence to ask you out. It may seem sneaky, but it does present a situation where everyone wins, doesn't it? Ask about his hobbies, whether he's a cat or dog person or what his favorite cuisine is, and you can add that he should try your forte dish related to his preference.


By asking questions, you discover what kind of guy he is, and you can start planning your next steps. The answers he provides give you so many angles to choose from.

Ask you out again

The worst is over and you guys had your first date already. Fortunately, you two hit it off with flying colors. Now what? Do you wait until he asks you out again or could you do something about it? 

Build on first date

Getting a guy to ask you out again, after a successful first date, is easy. You already have a foundation and history, however short it may be. Use this to your advantage. For example, you guys had your first date watching a live basketball game. How about watching another one just to continue the journey and possibly a rematch?

Repeat the past but with a twist

If your first date was rollerblading at the arena, how about ice skating for the next one. You could literally use that sentence to hint at a second date. A date theme adds excitement to the journey; he can't help but jump right in. Other examples include inviting him over to watch your favorite movies (yours and his) since your first date was movies at the theatre or going through the list of outdoor activities such as island hopping, mountain climbing, scuba diving if you're the adventurous type.

Keep the conversation going

It is essential to keep him interested by being yourself and ensuring the flow of communication does not die. Reply to his messages, be available when he asks you out, and flirt a bit when you're together. In doing so, he'll be assured that the first date was a success and that he should ask for another one. If you disappear after the first date, without any valid reasons, it shows that you guys didn't click, and there is no future to the relationship.

Related Article: 6 Dating Tips To Abide By To Score The Woman Of Your Dreams
6 Dating Tips To Abide By To Score The Woman Of Your Dreams

The best dating tips for 2019 summarized here for all situations.


Now that we live in the modern age asking a guy out or getting a guy to ask you out isn't something unheard of. In fact, ladies are now taking the initiative and control in the dating world. We are no longer limited to waiting for a guy to ask us out – and that's exciting!


There are so many ways to exude interest and suggest a date is a must to someone you're attracted to. Feel free to use the examples mentioned above or tweak it to fit the context and situation. Above all, have fun and always pursue happiness!


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