Females Orgasm Denial: A Pleasure or a Torture?

Find out how to get an outburst of pleasure by using denial

By Evelyn
Females Orgasm Denial: A Pleasure or a Torture?

What is Female Orgasm Denial?

Does orgasm denial seem scary to you? It could if you don't know what it is or how does it work or the benefits of it? Luckily for you, we're going to talk about it more. You know that orgasms apart from feeling wonderful can bring you many health benefits. They can help you relieve stress, they can give your immune system a boost and they can even help you fight insomnia and did we mention that they feel amazing?! It's no wonder that we're constantly in the hunt for better, and bigger and more frequent orgasms.

Why then would you, on purpose, deny yourself all that? It doesn't make sense... having fewer orgasms can actually be a good thing? Turns out that it can. Female orgasm denial does have some very surprising benefits. Essentially, orgasm denial is when you're almost there, on the point of climax, and then everything stops and then everything starts again. This can go over and over and over again and, when it finally happens, it feels amazing.

Orgasm denial is also called erotic sensual denial or edging. It is considered a type of sexual play and it's often associated with BDSM, but it doesn't have to be. The basic idea is that you're going to be stimulated and excited (as your man sees fit), but you won't be allowed to fully climax. Frustrating right? Well yes and no, it's more a control thing that both of you would have talked about before engaging in it.

Why denying such a good thing be good, you ask? Well, let us answer this way: many women spend so much time and effort seeking to have an orgasm and when they finally reach it, it's mindblowing. The concept is much the same thing, but in the case of female orgasm denial, women purposefully seek to delay orgasm or how some called it, to prolonged arousal, because that eventually leads to a bigger and stronger and even more mindblowing orgasm. The enhanced pleasure they get from this delay operates at two-levels. The physical level, the build-up you experience; and the psychological level where "you want what you can't have" and that's powerful. 

In the BDSM world, people find the dominance and submissive aspect of it very erotic. After all, orgasm denial implies a very high level of control but it also requires trust.

How does female orgasm denial work?

Experts on the topic say that experimentation is crucial to have a healthy sex life as well as having an awareness of how your body reacts. When it comes to orgasm denial or edging you have to be knowledgable about the four stages of arousal. If you and your partner know this it can give you a clearer picture of how it works, so you'll know when to stop stimulation and when to start again.

The female sexual response cycle has four stages:

  1. Excitement: In this stage, your muscles start to tense, your heart rate gets quicker, your skin starts to flush, your breath is accelerated. Blood starts to flow quickly down to your vagina and clitoris. Orgasm denial usually starts at this stage.
  2. Plateau: Now everything that happened at stage 1 is more intense. You start to feel more and more close to orgasm. This stage is where the stimulation stops or slows down.
  3. Orgasm: You've reached ecstasy when a series of muscles and nerve endings respond to all the previous stimulation. If you're practicing orgasm denial, this is the stage you're trying to avoid until ready.
  4. Resolution: Your tissues return to its previous size and color and your vitals return to normal after orgasm. Also, here is where the refractory period starts (a temporary stretch of time where you can't get aroused again),

Pleasure or Torture?

That is the question right? Female orgasm denial... is it pleasure or is it torture? Only the ones that have practiced it can really answer that. But did you know that pain, sex, and love all have the potential to stimulate the release of the same hormones and chemicals in your body? Yep, whether your aroused and ready, feeling pain or getting stress is going to stimulate, in your brain, the production of serotonin and melatonin and that's when all the potential pain transforms into pleasure. So, it's more like torture (orgasm denial) turns into pleasure.

There's incredible pleasure in withholding and waiting to have an orgasm, that's what women that engage in it say. For them is a clever use of the phrase Erotic Equation: It's the sum of four components, Obstacles (will you be allowed to have an orgasm?) + Prohibition (until the game's finished you better not have an orgasm) + Anticipation (will you get your orgasm this time around?) + Desire (Please, let me have an orgasm NOW). The result is a mindblowing ecstasy.

Have you ever played the English child's game "Pass the Parcel", well female orgasm denial it's like that...the adult and sexy version. wink

How to Try Female Orgasm Denial?

Now that you know what female orgasm denial is about, would you be trying it? Practicing it, according to experts, can bring many benefits. The first one (and the most appealing) is that it could and will lead you to stronger and better orgasms (and who wouldn't want that?!). It can also be really hot to put someone else in control of it. 

If you're going to try it with your guy, you need to discuss it first to establish boundaries and limits, so you can both enjoy the game. Now, how can you try it? You can follow these steps.

Start on your own

That's the first thing experts recommend, that you practice on your own. If you want to be able to stop yourself or ask him to stop, before reaching your orgasm, you have to know or learn when to do it. There is a "point of no return" for most people. If your own play gets you to that point there is nothing you can do to stop an orgasm, it's going to happen, no matter what you do. If you want to practice female orgasm denial (or at least attempt it), first you need to learn to recognize the signs of your "point of no return".

How you can do that? as you masturbate try to acknowledge what your body feels as you start to orgasm. For example: do your breath quicken? Do your toes curl? What happens with your heart rate? Then try to stop yourself as you get close to orgasm to bring your level of arousal to fall. Then ramp it up again and repeat this process as many times as you like. 

Try it with him and show him how it's done

The next step would be to try it with your partner. Try orgasm denial in front of each other and one at a time. To help him get to know the signs of your point of no return, you should let him watch first get yourself close to an orgasm. Apart from that, you can also tell him what you've noticed with your own explorations.

This step is recommended if you're doing it as a couple because it takes time to learn orgasm denial as a couple. That way you won't have to tell him when to stop, he'll learn to identify the signs and will be able to stop before you reach your orgasm.

Take control

This is the next step or your play. You can either take control of his masturbation first and then you can switch places so he takes control of yours. You'll have to talk about this before you start, so you'll know each other's boundaries. The point here is to obey commands. You can start to masturbate in front of him and when he notices that you're close to orgasm he'll tell you to stop or give you a signal. He'll give you a break time of about 30 seconds to a minute and then tell you to start again. You can repeat this process three times and then he'll "give you permission" to make yourself come.

Practice controlling each other

Now you can stimulate him or he can stimulate you while controlling your orgasm. He can try oral sex or intercourse and he can tell you to let him know when you're getting close so he can stop. This requires a lot of practice.

Add a power play to make it more interesting

Once you get the hang of it, you can start to add more power-play dynamics to make it more interesting. Before anything happens, have a conversation about who's going to be in control. If you decide it's going to be him first then he can tell you that you're not allowed to have an orgasm until he gives you explicit permission. Saying things like "You're going to be in trouble if you come before I give you permission" can play up the dynamic and make the experience more enjoyable for both of you because you'll know that you'll have a very very happy ending.


Related Article: 4 Types Of Orgasms Women Have And What Orgasms Feel Like
4 Types Of Orgasms Women Have And What Orgasms Feel Like

What are the four different types of orgasms that a woman can have? What exactly, do orgasms feel like for the women who have them and what are the best signs?

Female orgasm denial it's both, it's torture but it can also be a pleasure (if you do it right). Many couples that practice it say that it has helped them be more present and connected during sex. The main benefit is that you'll have a better and stronger and more powerful orgasm. It's an excellent way to extend foreplay with a mindblowing end result. Ready to give it a try? Good luck!


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