9 Ways to Reciprocate to the Subtle Signs of a Shy Girl at Work

Use these ways to get to this shy girl that you know likes you!

By Lisa Lee
9 Ways to Reciprocate to the Subtle Signs of a Shy Girl at Work

The workplace is one of the most likely places for romance to blossom. Unless, of course, we're talking affair; the majority of these turn into a huge mess! Obviously, social media, night clubs and dating sites bring people together, but there's something about working in close proximity to a girl that you think is not only cute but have a hunch that the feeling is mutual.

Think about Jim and Pam from the hit series "The Office"- (if you don't get this reference, where HAVE you been!?). Their budding romance friends to the happily married couple had fans across the globe glued to their screens. This is the perfect example of the guy who desperately wanted his best friend and co-worker to be his girl, and was willing to wait four whole years for the stars to align before he finally made his move.

We're hoping that these tips, you won't have to wait that long to get your Pam-especially before someone else snatches her up! 

Awkwardness or Being Too Loud Can Scare Off a Shy Girl You Like

Being goofy or too loud and raucous can easily scare off a girl you like; especially if she's shy and reserved. Try to think about why she is quiet and introverted and why she won't make a move, especially if you feel she may just have similar feelings for you.


Perhaps she has had bad luck when it comes to relationships and is a little wary of men. Maybe she feels that office relationships are inappropriate, or maybe she is simply an introvert who isn't interested in flaunting around and being the centre of attention (every office has THAT girl!).

And in all honesty. while the flirty, naughty office girls are good for a laugh (or more...), there's something about the "girl next door", the one with a bit of mystery, one that leaves you wondering what she's all about. But how fo you get the girl without scaring her off? You know she likes you, but that isn't enough. One wrong move and any hope of of romance could fall to pieces like a domino tower.

9 Ways to Reciprocate to a Shy Girl You Like at Work

1. Subtle Special Treatment

Treat her differently to other girls at work. In other words, most workplaces have pretty easy-going male/female friendships or interactions. In some instances, you may have the kind of girl that acts like of the boys (the one all the boys love), the sweet girl who gets on with everybody but is happily married, the office bitch (we all know one), the gossip girl and then, her. The quiet, pretty, girl next door type who seems to be out of everyone's reach.

The girl you just have to have. But you have to treat this girl very carefully.


As mentioned, you aren't going to treat her like the other girls in the office. As much as she doesn't want to be zoned in on, it's something you have to risk. By this, we don't mean you need to start cracking lame jokes as loudly as possible, sit on her desk *cringe*, or touch her hair whilst complimenting it!   


The first step would be to quietly approach her, not unlike the way you'd approach a skittish kitten (not exactly the same, but you get it!). Do something thoughtful and cute, like getting a soda or AND a cup of coffee, asking her which she'd prefer, and drinking the one she hasn't chosen. This shows that she's the priority in the situation and what you want is secondary.

2. Keep an eye on her

Make sure she isn't super busy at work before interrupting her. You may mean well but it could come across as pushy. You have met your targets or deadlines, but others are still busy. Keep an eye on her to see if she looks a little overwhelmed with paperwork or phone calls before sauntering to her desk and disrupting her.

3. Do something small

After the coffee/soda trick ask her if she's busy.If she says "no"-bonus! Try to make little visits and small talk a daily thing, and each time do something small but sweet. Swap the coffee for crisps or a candy bar. Not only will these little gestures become a part of the day that she looks forward to (dare we say-her favourite bit!), and a great way of opening up the lines of communication. It will also show her that you aren't interested in the other girls in the office, and will make her feel special. 

4. Gradual bonding

As interesting as you may THINK you are when you're trying to win over the shy girl at work, it's time for you to take a backseat and do the listening. Try to find out as much as you can about her (without being too invasive), such as her favourite food, things to do outside of work, her favourite movies; you catch the drift. You can easily chime in if she mentions a band or film that you love too, opening up a great converation. This can make for some really great bonding time.

5. Establish your own code words

Try to establish an inside joke that just the two of you. We're not encouraging you to put down your colleagues, but there has to be something at work that you both find funny. Perhaps it's the guy who always brings his stinky egg sandwiches to the office for lunch. Or a guy who is almost certain can have any girl in the office but couldn't be more wrong.


Use code words, nicknames and other funny private jokes. Have silly little bets. All of these things may see, trivial, but are an amazing way to become closer and more comfortable with each other. Laughter really helps people to let go. With some luck, she'll let her hair down a little and show you a different side to the shy, quiet and somewhat serious girl.

6. Don't rush it

Don't rush it! Good things really do come to those who wait. If you know for sure that her feelings are mutual, why not see if she makes a move? Of course, this is not how things usually work, but perhaps she may feel that she wants to take some control. If you've followed the above steps, the next few should be easy for you and you may just get the girl.

7. Ask her out (away from the workplace)

If you've been lucky, and it's clear that she's ready to be asked out (without the risk of rejection), it's time to take the leap. Nothing fancy, just somewhere out of the office environment. A cup of coffee at your favourite cafe is perfect. Removing yourselves out of the workplace and into the "real world" can take a crush to a possible love match.


People also tend to be a lot more relaxed out of the office. so you'll probably get to see a different side to her, In fact, you may get to see a different side to her when she's not at work; she's more open, bubbly and really fun to be around.


Tou may also be able to get more personal because you can't feel the eyes of all of your fellow co-workers on you, which can be pretty awkward.

8. Don't play games

At this point, if you haven't already exchanged numbers, it's probably time to do so! Whatever you do, don't play games; if she sends you a text, text her back. Don't play the cat and mouse game-it's old and a huge put off (unless you're a teenager). Make sure she always feels secure; nobody likes to be left on "read" with no response.


If you really are busy, keep it light-hearted and flirty. Send her something along the lines of "can't wait to catch up later, miss chatting to you but sadly I have to adult quite a but today".Don't make her feel like she's being intrusive or annoying. 


We're assuming you're pretty close now, and there's nothing a girl loves more thatn waking up to a sweet good moring message. Try something like "Good morning pretty girl, you were the first thing that popped into my head this morning so I thought I'd text you!"

9. Keep connected

Keep up the texting and the messages will more than likely become more flirty, perhaps even deeper on an emotional level. When two people who are into each other start to get into this part of texting, you may find yourselves texting, or even calling into the early hours of the morning. This is when you make the final move, and in your own special way, ask her to be your girl.


Once you're a couple, it will be even more exciting to try and hide it from your co-workers. However, don't think they're THAT naive; they'll figure it out sooner than you think. Just make sure you keep your relationship between the two of you-nobody need to know your business after all. 

Related Article: 15 Ways to Find Out If a Shy Girl Likes You Or Not!
15 Ways to Find Out If a Shy Girl Likes You Or Not!

She pretends to read her book but she is actually peeking at you!


Remember, if you're known as the boisterous-us fun loving guy around the office, you need to show her a different side of you. You should never have to change who you are for anyone; in fact, if she likes you it's because of who you are. If you are 100 % sure she's into you, start paying a little attention. Approach her like a gentleman, not like you would anyone else in the office. Don't give mixed signals. Know what you want and go for it!


Once again, take it slow, especially with a shy and introverted girl. Who knows, if all goes according to plan, you may just be able to tell your kids about how you managed to marry the girl of your dreams.