My Husband Can't Come Anymore and I Feel Guilty About It

Can't stop thinking that I am not sexually attractive enough

By Michele
My Husband Can't Come Anymore and I Feel Guilty About It

Physical intimacy, in a relationship, comes with its own sets of challenges. Several things can change over the passage of time and the intensity of sexual intercourse is one of them. That is why it is really important to communicate issues with your partner so that your relationship doesn’t get complicated.

In this read, I will discuss an important sexual issue that worries most of the women when they are unable to make their man come. It hurts one's confidence when the partner is unable to achieve sexual orgasm. Do not worry; it is not something that you cannot overcome. Just have patience and have a track of the situation.

So let’s see what you can do about this question: My Husband Can't Come Anymore and I Feel Guilty About It!

Is It My Fault that My Man Can't Come Anymore?

To be honest, it is not completely your fault if your man is unable to come during sexual intercourse. There can be different reasons for him being unable to reach the climax. I will also share them with you. But whatever the case is, the most important thing to do is to deal with this situation in a decent manner.

Most of the women think that their partner has lost interest in them and that is why unable to come. This idea is not a valid one, as you are unaware of the underlying health and psychological issues that your man might be facing. It is just an assumption. Until and unless a proper discussion is or made or diagnosis is done nothing can be declared.

So all you need to do is keep your cool and place focus on how to make your man come.  

5 Reasons Why He Couldn't Come Anymore

Here are the 5 possible reasons why your man is unable to come anymore. Read them carefully and then make a decision. There is no need to hurry!

1. He might have masturbated too much

Yeah, that is pretty much right. Excessive masturbation can lead to delayed ejaculation. Most of the men have this habit of masturbating with the help of their hand and that makes the penis accustomed to a certain level of pressure and touch. With time, ejaculation can only happen with the use of the hand. So there is nothing wrong with your vagina.

Sadly he has trained his fist better and now you must stop feeling embarrassed. On the other hand, if your partner already masturbated once or twice before having sex with you, he will take some time to ejaculate. Till then just enjoy the ride and there is no need to panic.

2. He might be using some medicine

Interestingly, different medicines play havoc with sexual pleasure. Certain chemical combinations, present in them, delay the sexual climax due to some sort of suppression and insensitivity issues. So, if your man is taking medicines for high blood pressure, diabetes, depression, or any other serious health issue then it is understandable because such sort of medicines does have side effects.

So this problem can be tackled by getting other medicines that do not have harsh side effects or opting for some sort of supplementation. Whatever the option you choose, must be following the prescription and recommendation of your doctor. Just do not do any experiments yourself!

3. He might be experiencing performance anxiety

It is to be noted that most of the men face performance anxiety issues in bed. That makes it complicated for them and as a result, intercourse turns out to be unsatisfactory. Issues of anxiety can be related to past relationships, certain cultural norms, having the fear of not performing well, accidental pregnancy, partner feedback, etc.

There is a long list. Just make sure that your partner is all calm. Do not push him for ejaculating quickly or why is he taking so much time. In such cases, therapy and counseling can help overcome different sorts of anxiety.

4. He might be drinking too much alcohol

So apparently booze is not that friendly when it comes to sex. According to a study, related to alcohol and its sexual complications, excessive drinking can easily lead to delayed orgasm. Have you ever noticed that your man, after a heavy drinking session, takes more than normal time to release? Yes, it is the effect of alcohol.

Well, it is something that can be discussed easily. Ask your man to be a little gentle on his liver so that your sexual intercourse can also get more sensual and satisfactory for both of you. A sober encounter can help strengthen a relationship and develop confidence and understanding.

5. He might be watching too much porn

Just like masturbation, watching porn is not at all healthy for mental health. It can lead to several mental health issues that mostly arise due to inferiority complex or unrealistic expectations.  Watching several women having attractive bodies can also lead to higher expectations and make it difficult for a man to release. Porn can play havoc with the natural response system of the brain when it comes to having sex on the bed.

Just let your man know that watching porn can lead to an overstimulated dopamine level, which can make it very difficult to come. It is to be understood that watching an excessive amount of porn can only lead to such adverse effects.  Otherwise, it is okay and normal.

Overcome Your Guilt on His Lack of Performance

I hope that the reasons shared above have helped in understanding why your man has a delayed ejaculating. There is nothing to feel guilty about it. You are fine hun! There is a lot that you can do to handle the situation. Being a loyal woman, you must help your man overcome his difficulties and insecurities.

Without judging him or bashing him, just make sure that you turn out to be supportive. For that, you will need to show a lot of love and care and make sure that there is a proper level of communication between you guys.   

How to Talk With Him on This Awkward Topic

Yes, it is a pretty awkward topic, but the good thing is that he is also aware of this issue and must be looking forward to how to deal with it. The most important thing is to choose the right moment and mode of discussion. It is not something that you can discuss while on the go, you need some time to sit together and check out the risks.

Apart from the reasons that I have discussed above, you also need to analyze the situation from a different perspective. Listen, I am not trying to put you in any sort of complex, just check if there is anything wrong from your end or not. Like you have gained considerable weight or lost that charm. In that case, just work on yourself a bit and see if things get better. I can assure you that they will.

Explore every possibility that could be hindering your man from coming. That is all!

Seeking Help

Yes, I highly recommend seeking professional counseling for any of the anxiety-related issues that prevent your man from coming. Seeking help for anxiety is not at all awkward, it is better to look for healing instead of making things difficult for both of you.

You might need to ask your partner to seek therapy sessions regularly so that he can overcome his anxiety and stress-related issues. Once they are over, you will notice that your sex life has improved tremendously and you are back at enjoying sex. In some cases, mental problems do more damage than physical ones.

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I hope that you have grown out of the guilt of not being able to please your man, as he is unable to come. It is something that you need to discuss immediately with your partner before it takes its toll and makes it difficult for you to put it all together in one place.

There are many couples, who face some sort of sexual problems and never properly discuss them. In the end, they just blame each other for their poor performance and mess things up. Do not do this mistake. Make the right diagnosis so that a specified treatment can help make sex better. So now you know quality matters over quantity!