What Is An Unhappy Marriage? Toxic Marriage?
A marriage is a bond that brings joy and happiness to both persons involved. A couple usually dates for an extended period before deciding to tie the knot. During the dating period, both individual try to really get to know the other person and they only get married when both of them finds peace in each other’s company. They form a connection so strong that they understand, love, and cherish each other on a much deeper level. These are the feelings and intentions due to which people get married.
A happy marriage is when that peace is continued and both partners actively work on their relationship to get through a hard time while mending and restoring the love through communication and effort whenever it’s threatened. An unhappy marriage is exactly the opposite. The individuals no longer find peace and joy in each other’s company. They fight and argue - with both or one of them, not playing their part in mending the love.
What Are The Common Causes Of An Unhappy Marriage?
Marriages involve two independent people who bring years and years of individual experience to a single table with the intention to merge and create a future that’s filled with peace. A number of reasons can cause this mixture of experience to be not-so-pleasant. There is no doubt that the majority of the problems that marriages face are different from each other but there are some causes that have been known to play a prominent role in bringing unhappy tones to the marriage pallets.
A happy marriage is based on faithfulness and a promise of loyalty. When that is breached, a marriage can break. A partner being unfaithful is just the beginning of the marriage taking a wrong turn and it is the beginning of events that will make the marriage unhappy in many ways. When a person is involved in infidelity, this doesn’t just violate the other partner’s right to loyalty, it also violates their trust in you. Even if your marriage successfully heals from this, your partner will have an extremely difficult time trusting you again.
Lack of communication
Communication is a major pillar that holds up any relationship. When it comes to a happy marriage, healthy communication is the strongest tool. If communication is taken out of the equation of marriage, what’s left is confusion and hopelessness. Lack of communication in an unhappy marriage is when in the presence of your spouse you feel lonely and misunderstood. Even when both of you sit to have a conversation, it always ends up in a fight or argument that leaves both of you more hurt and confused than when you first started.
Relationships come with a lot of good times but they also require a lot of hard work and effort to be nourished. This work is a lot easier to do when both of you can see and feel each other’s presence. When you feel that presence, the hurdles seem much smaller than the peace and solace you find in each other’s embrace. This feeling keeps you charged up to fight for what you’ve built together. Even though many couples have fought through long-distance relationships, it is also one of the most common reasons for unhappy marriages. If you live apart from your spouse, the most effective method to keep this distance from making your marriage unhappy is to plan frequent visits to be reminded of why you need to invest more in your marriage and love.
Lack of effort from either or both sides
Marriage is a partnership. It is like a three-legged race – when both of you aren’t actively coordinating, understanding & communicating, in short, putting in the effort needed to keep going, you will fall. Sure there will be times where both of you will stumble but if you don’t get it together at the right time, the race will end for you. The point here is, marriage can only be happy when efforts are from both sides. Unfortunately, the lack of effort from either or both sides is one of the most common reasons why marriages become unhappy.
Bad Habits That Husbands Do That Destroy Their Marriage
There are some cases of unhappy marriages in which husbands are the ones destroying the bond. Here are the bad habits that are commonly found in unhappiness and distressed in marriages caused by the husbands.
1. Substance Abuse
Alcohol and drug abuse by husbands is one of the major reasons that are found in unhappy marriages. Substance abuse is why the husband’s behavior threatens the respect, trust, and communication required to create a happy and healthy marriage.
2. Physical Abuse
Husbands are physically stronger. Depending on their upbringing, instead of sitting down and having a healthy conversation to end an argument, they turn to physical abuse. When the wife is physically abused, she fears her husband instead of finding the peace in him discussed above. Physical abuse shouldn’t be tolerated at any cost as it is dangerous. A marriage that has fallen to this level is beyond repair. The woman involved should seek help to get out of it.
3. Financial Dishonesty
Finance management is a massive chunk of a happy household. When the wife is maintaining full financial disclosure and taking financial decisions that are beneficial for the marriage in the long run while the husband thinks he’s entitled and is burning through both of their money, marriage starts to turn unhappy. Financial dishonesty by the husband is again, one of the most commonly reported reasons for broken and unhappy marriages.
What Are Its Effects On The Couple?
You’d be surprised at how bad marriage can have an adverse impact on your health. Staying in an unhealthy marriage may lead to excessive stress and can make you more at risk of heart diseases. Other than physical issues, it can take a hard blow on the psychological health too. Bad marriages can cause depression and make people question their self-worth and self-esteem.
What To Do When Your Husband Is Destroying Your Marriage?
If you think that your husband is destroying your marriage, you need to be aware of the options that you have.
If the marriage is beyond repair
First of all, do not stay in a marriage that has turned toxic and is beyond repair. Examples of marriage that is beyond repair is when your husband has started to physically abuse you or is intentionally taking hits on your emotional health. Staying in such a marriage is dangerous and the suggestion here would be to leave him as soon as possible. If you’re not already separated, the wiser step would be to move out and stay at a place that’s safe for you until the paperwork is taken care of.
If the marriage isn’t beyond repair
If your husband is destroying your marriage but there is still hope, here are a few things that you can do to save your marriage and restore whatever has been damaged. Having conversation and discussing all that’s bothering the both of you while brainstorming solutions is a great way to go about it but if you need an opinion or a nudge in the right direction from an independent and unbiased party, seek marriage counseling. Marriage counselors have years of experience dealing with couples like yours and tons of marriages have reported having rekindled the lost love through this mean.
Marriage is a lot of work. If both partners are committed, that work is paid off and is more than worth it. Finding a companionship for the rest of our life to work together on and build a future is the dream of the majority of us. If your husband is destroying the marriage and it is beyond repair, it is only taking away from you and not bring any joy to you. I’ve seen a lot of people who decide to continue to stay in a broken marriage just because they fear being alone but trust me when you’re out of this toxicity, you will find love again. The kind of love that will serve you, bring more peace and happiness your way. If it isn’t beyond repair, communicating and seeking professional help is your best bet.