How Do You Deal With Cheating Accusations?
Whether you’re in a relationship, just got out of one, or are seeking a new one, we all have a part of our lives dedicated to romance. Relationships are not like the fairytales generally depicted on mainstream media. There are so much work and effort that goes into maintaining a healthy partnership. Efforts must never be solely one-sided. Both partners have equal duties to the other and their relationship. But things can get tricky and often these situations turn very messy, very fast.
One of the biggest issues in monogamous relationships is infidelity. A lack of faithfulness is everyone’s worst fear in a relationship. Loyalty is a key factor in establishing the foundation of the human connection. So, cheating is what breaks apart this bond. It can hurt tremendously to be cheated on and cheating on someone you once loved comes with its guilt, shame, and confusion. But what about being accused of infidelity when you have done no such thing? It can feel almost as bad as your boyfriend cheating on you. Because by accusing you he is implying he has no trust in you. Here is how you should deal with these accusations as a girlfriend:
Your number one priority while responding to these claims is to keep your cool. Maintain your composure and try your best to avoid getting defensive. Losing your temper and lashing out will only make the matter worse. He might start to think you are overcompensating because you have been unfaithful and his suspicions are true. Have an open and honest conversation regarding the matter at hand. It is vital to listen to what is on your partner’s mind before you begin to jump to conclusions. Hear their concerns carefully and respond appropriately.
Why Does He Think That I’m Cheating?
Do you think that you are certain there is nothing you have done wrong? Do you know for a fact you have not exhibited the behavior of a cheater? Well, in the issue of feeling the truth is there does not have to be solid evidence. The part of us that falls in love with someone is much more fragile and sensitive than the version of ourselves we present to the rest of society. In relationships, we are vulnerable and the smallest things can upset us. No one is immune to jealousy. We all feel a sense of protectiveness when it comes to our partners.
Your lover may be using cheating as an excuse for some other issue that they have. Frequently, there are underlying issues that are too shy to come to the surface. You may have been distant lately as a couple and this is his way of getting your attention back. The lover’s mind is desperate and petty. We cannot hold it up to standards of logic as these arguments are purely based on emotions. There is a possibility that there are other problems in your relationship that have not been acknowledged or resolved by the two of you.
Does My Boyfriend Have Trust Issues?
From another point of view, the issue may not lie in you or your relationship at all. The problem could stem from your partner’s struggle with trust. There are many reasons that your lover might behave this way. Examples of love set in early childhood are vital to our language of love as adults. If your boyfriend’s parents struggled with infidelity, there might be remnants of that childhood ideal within him now. The environment he grew up indirectly affects how he goes about in his relationships and romances.
Secondly, your partner’s heart may have experienced previous trauma from the past. Bad experiences with relationships that did not work out translate into problems with the new one. To a certain extent, everyone compares their new partners to their exes. It is not uncommon to do so. Your boyfriend is afraid of getting hurt. Do not be offended by these accusations immediately. Have a conversation about if he has been cheated on in the past.
Heartbreak and betrayal are never easy to deal with and if he hasn’t taken the time to heal from his past troubles, this will keep on causing issues with your current partnership until and unless it is addressed, recognized, and worked on. Try to work as a team once again to regain the love and appreciation you had for each other at the start. Practice small trust exercises with your boyfriend to help him understand you are a different person who is caring and loyal.
Proving That You Did Not Cheat
Dealing with cheating accusations requires one final step before both of you can move past this and into a new era of your partnership. If you address these claims and handle the situation well, you may come out of this with a stronger connection than ever before. Whenever someone brings up cheating there will be certain situations or signs that have to lead them to suspect your loyalty to them. Ask your boyfriend the reasons why he is suspicious of you. Once you have heard his side of the story, try to calmly explain why they’re doubts are not true. Be careful to not invalidate his feelings because it might cause the other person to feel even more disheartened.
Is he curious as to why you were out so late? Show him pictures or other proof of where you were. Remind him who he has chosen to date. Remind him that you have never been unfaithful in the past and reassure him that you will remain loyal in the future as well. Do whatever it takes to ease his concerns right then and there. It is best to nip the problem in the bud. Answer all his questions and queries openly and honestly.
What Is Gaslighting?
If you have done everything right i.e. addressed his concerns, kept ahold of your temper, and done your best to prove yourself, yet he remains doubtful of you. You may be experiencing a toxic and unhealthy dynamic in your relationship. One of the major signs of a toxic partner is gaslighting. This term may be unfamiliar and confusing to some, so let us break it down for you.
Gaslighting is a tactic in which an abusive partner manipulates their significant other. It refers to a behavioral pattern in which a person denies and invalidates the other. A gaslighter will be overly defensive. They are usually the type of person who is in the wrong but chooses to blame it on you. They can make you feel insane and unworthy. It can have serious negative effects on the mental health of the partner. This term comes from a play titled Gas Light which was performed in 1938. It is now a common term used in political, psychological, and social contexts.
Signs My Partner Is Gaslighting Me Or Manipulating Me
Here are signs that you are a victim of gaslighting and how to spot these signs:
1. He denies previous statements
At the end of the day, a gaslighter is a liar at his core. He will say one thing and entirely refuse to accept his statement the next. This is often hidden under the guise of forgetfulness. Yet when you have proof, he still does not agree with his previous words. You may start to doubt your memory with this type of manipulation.
2. Hot and cold behavior
A toxic person will exhibit drastic ups and downs in the way that they interact with you. When you ask them to fix a certain problem, they may act more than willing to do so. But within a few days continue with the old and problematic behaviors
3. Invalidation of emotions
An important thing to remember is he will never acknowledge that he is hurting you. He will make you feel like you are making a big deal out of it without realizing that it is badly affecting you. He will call you things like “overly sensitive” and a “cry baby”. Remember someone who does not acknowledge your emotions is not a good lover.
Being in an unhealthy relationship is draining and makes you feel dull and unexcited about life. It can1 slowly suck the happiness out of you. It may not always be easy to spot a toxic trait but one must be careful. You should be protective of your own mental and emotional peace before anyone else’s. Do not feel obligated to stay in a relationship with someone who gaslights you. Although they will make you feel like there is no other option but to stay with them, remember you always have the choice to walk away.