Signs that You're Dealing with an Emotionally Damaged Man

There are people who have been hurt by their past relationships

By Fred S.
Signs that You're Dealing with an Emotionally Damaged Man

Attributes Of An Emotionally Damaged Person

Let’s start by taking a look at the characteristics of a broken guy. It’s tough to be sure if a man is really broken or not, so it’s helpful to look at some clear indicators to figure it out for sure. Below, we’ve listed and described them, so if you find them in your man, he could be emotionally damaged.

1. A lack of confidence

While a lack of confidence can stem from many other causes, like introversion or social anxiety, it can also happen due to emotional damage. Self-belief takes a hit as a result of a past relationship breaking off in a rough way. This could cause him to doubt whether his current partner, you, are actually interested in him or not.

2. He obstructs the relationship’s growth

As a consequence of being hurt in the past, men naturally assume that other people they’re interested in can also, at some point, break their hearts. This could make them self-sabotage any growing relationship because they’re too scared to let their guard down and get hurt again.

3. He doesn’t freely open up

Having had their heart broken in the past, men naturally try to protect themselves against constantly. They could do so without even realizing it, showing behaviors like not opening up with you, and being secretive about any personal details about himself. It’s not easy for him to trust other people once again, even if it’s you, his current significant other. It’ll take a lot of time and effort to get him to trust you and open his doors.  

4. He’s mostly quiet

Does he stay reserved, and super quiet most of the time? It could be because he’s busy dealing with too many emotions in his mind, occupied with internal noise, that he just doesn’t say much. Loud places could bother him due to this too. He’ll also choose to stay quiet about anything you say that bothers him – talking to you about it requires a lot of confidence, which doesn’t come naturally to a broken man.

5. He’s super sensitive

Anything negative said about this guy can offend him and make him upset, even if you only said it as a joke. Something that’s funny to you might be more serious to him – he could feel insulted by the most trivial statements. Anything about his past relationships is a big no-no, as it can seriously trigger him immediately.

How To Make Broken People Feel Loved And Supported?

The best way to make emotionally damaged individuals feel supported and cared for is to be with them when they need you. They can feel lonely even in a crowd because of the hurt they’ve felt in the past from people they cared about.

You’ll have to earn his respect and trust, little by little. Every time he needs you, you should be there for him to make him start understanding your caring intent for him. You’ll have to be patient because it can take a long time to happen.

Show him that you’re committed to being with him in the long-run, and won’t leave him stranded. To make him truly believe that your feelings for him are genuine, reassure him that you’ve found everything you ever looked for in him – right from the first day of the relationship!

He might be emotionally damaged but isn’t incapable of loving. He’s got a lot of love to offer but just needs to be sure about the person he invests it in, because of what has happened to him in the past. He’ll be super careful about the people he lets into his life, but that’s what makes him unique!

Are Some Emotionally Damaged People Not Ready To Be In A Relationship?

The answer to this question depends on the perspective. Some people, who believe life’s too short to live with an emotionally damaged man who takes forever to build trust, won’t think it’s worth it.

Others though, who understand that love can’t be bought but has to be earned, will do whatever it takes to be with the man they love. Earning his trust and healing him is a noble adventure for them, not because it’s heroic or anything, but because they love him enough to do so.

If you’re in for the ride, then understand that an emotionally damaged man has suffered through an immense amount of pain. They’ve been through hell and back, and often without ever speaking a word of it to anyone. The only thing that could cure him is pure, unconditional love. All he needs is a person to accept him just the way he is, with every imperfection he has. Once he does trust you and knows that you truly love him, you can bet that he’ll do the same for you.

If you feel strongly about him being the only one for you, tell him that, don’t keep these positive words hidden. Tell him how much he means to you, and there’s no place you’d rather be except by his side. Patience will slowly but surely lead to him opening up to you, and then he won’t be afraid of getting hurt by you. He’ll have found the perfect recipient for his heaped up love, and you’ll get it in full.

Are You Dealing With A Person Who Is Heavily-Guarded Or Untrusting?

No one’s born to naturally be untrusting with impenetrable emotional walls around them. Circumstances can make a man behave that way though, and that’s the case with a broken person. When you look at him, you’re looking at a person who has been heartbroken, and possibly emotionally abused, and taken advantage of.

Feeling that amount of pain once is enough to scar you for life, and you can be sure that no one would want to experience it all over again – ever. That’s what makes emotionally damaged people extremely cautious about who they fall for, and who they open up to.

If your man behaves this way and refuses to let his guard down no matter how reassuring you are, know that it’s not always because of you, but his insecurities. He’ll need time and you’ll need the patience to get through this, and finally win his trust. But if you genuinely feel that this guy is your soulmate, then it’s all going to be worth it in the end!

Signs That People Were In A Broken Relationship

While emotionally damaged men are usually hurt through a broken relationship from the past, that’s not always the case. It can be other factors like parental problems, separation issues, or the sudden death of a close one, which can cause people to be emotionally damaged.

Some signs can indicate that a broken man has a past broken relationship to blame for his emotional condition. These include;

  • A toxic ex, who still bothers him directly or indirectly.
  • Him always bringing up an ex with sour memories.
  • Subtle signs that he hasn’t completely moved on.
  • Him getting jealous of his ex being happy with someone else now.
  • He having been cheated on, which could explain his trust issues.
  • A past relationship where they used to argue all the time.
  • Etc.

 If your partner also displays signs along these lines, he could be emotionally damaged through a broken relationship from his past. Finding this out can help you understand the root of his emotional distress, and be the best version of yourself as a partner to help him realize that he deserves better.

Things You Should Know in Dating a Broken Man

1. It’s not going to be easy

Firstly, know that no one said this is going to be an easy road to walk with him. You’ll have to be consistently patient with his attitude, and work productively to heal him. He could take a long while to finally open up, trust you, or even be appreciative of your efforts – but, if you truly love him, you’ll wait.

2. He won’t be as romantic as other boyfriends

An emotionally damaged man isn’t always ‘all there’, and you can’t expect him to be as jolly and flirty as other boyfriends can be. He’ll be quieter, often busy fighting with his own thoughts. You’ll have to learn to live with this in the beginning. Hopefully, though, it won’t always be this way. Once he opens up and lets his guard down with you, you’ll see an all-new side of him.

3. Self-confidence issues will persist

He’s almost certainly going to have self-confidence issues all the time, and you’ll have to be okay with that. Not just that, but you’ll also have to be protective of him when others try to mock him for it. That’s how he’ll know that you’re one of the good ones and that he’s safe with you.

4. Love is the best remedy, and yes you can heal him

No matter how emotionally damaged someone is, no one is totally beyond repair. Through genuine love and care, which a woman naturally feels for her man, you can heal anyone. Along the way, many such instances might make you feel like he won’t change, and that you can’t heal him, but that’s not the case. Through persistence and love, you can and will heal him, and he’ll improve. Just keep at it, and it’ll be worth it!

Related Article: Dating an emotionally broken man: How to love him more?
Dating an emotionally broken man: How to love him more?

You cannot “fix” your man, but here is how to be there for him.


Arguably, most of us are emotionally damaged to some extent. However, some people have it worse and carry the sorrows of their previous relationships into their next. This puts their partner in a challenging situation, where they love and care for the man, but continue to face the emotional trials of dating a broken man.  In this article, we’ve looked deeply into the signs of an emotionally damaged man, and how you should approach being in a relationship with him.


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