High Maintenance: What It Is and Why It’s Perfectly Okay

You shouldn’t lower your standards for people who aren't ready.

By Aey
High Maintenance: What It Is and Why It’s Perfectly Okay

What Does It Mean To Be High Maintenance?

The meaning of being high-maintenance is simple – not settling for anything that’s less than what one deserves. If someone is high-maintenance, they will question everything that impacts them and they won’t shy away from demanding better quality for whatever they indulge in – be it a dining experience, the company of intellectual people, fresh food, and just about everything.  

Is It Bad To Become One?

It’s the best thing one can be. Being high-maintenance has gained a negative connotation because it requires hard-work, confrontation, and the spirit to put up a fight. Think for yourself, how can the act of respecting oneself and loving oneself so much that calls for everything and everyone around to step-up their game, be bad? It is only bad because it can make the people who settle for less receive a wake-up call and nudge them out of their comfort zone. Do you want to keep the people who have settled with life and don’t want to fight back around? Nope, well when you stop associating with those people, they’re the ones who will call you bad and ‘high-maintenance’ so that they can justify staying in their comfort zone. Their opinion doesn’t matter because you’re already on your way to a better company. 

Why Is It Okay To Be High Maintenance, Even In A Relationship?

In my opinion, being high-maintenance in a relationship isn’t okay, but is the best thing you’d do for yourself. Being high-maintenance in a relationship means that you refuse to be with a partner who can’t respect you, care for you, appreciate you, and walk his talk.  

Being high-maintenance in a relationship means that you will not stick around and tolerate any kind of bullshit, as no one should. It means that you will put your mental health first as every person should.  

Being high-maintenance is not just knowing what’s better but seeing that it gets done. Yes, you’ll get called cold for it, yes, you’ll get called weird too but don’t change because these people who are so into gossip, don’t know what growth and progress are. Be high-maintenance in every relationship and the right guy will immensely respect you for it!  

How To Love A High Maintenance Woman?

If this is the part why you read the article in the first place, that means you’ve got yourself a high-maintenance woman. Good for you! Because this woman doesn’t just want the best for herself, if you’re her partner, she wants the best for you too. She will always push you to be the best version of yourself. This is the reason why even if you’re hitting quite a few bumps tackling this one, don’t give up on her because her kind is rare out there. Here are a few ways to love a high-maintenance woman:  

1. Quality over everything

This woman won’t demand much but what she does want is quality. If you decide to get her something, don’t stress much about the size/quantity/type - whatever you decide on, make sure it’s of the finest quality. If she likes chocolate, go for premium dark chocolate. If she likes flowers, go for a classy bouquet. If she likes dining out, a place that is known for quality is what she’ll like.  

2. Conversation

A high-maintenance woman will want you to be extremely present when both of you are conversing. She won’t let you off the hook if you’re constantly distracted and checking your phone because that’s just basic etiquette that most people don’t take seriously.  

3. In bed

When you’re under the sheets, she won’t tolerate it if you’re selfish. Trust me that she will do more than just take care of your needs because she doesn’t just demand the best, she offers great too. Keep in mind to return the favor and do what she likes right when you’re having sex.  

How Can You Tell If Someone Is High Maintenance?

1. People act better when they are around

Ever notice how when a certain person walks in, the people already there change their body-language, double-check their clothes, and switch their tone of talking? Well if this is the case, the person who just entered has got really high-standards and has a strong personality that people around want to please. They will call out anyone who behaves less than decently. 

2. They are always properly dressed

Someone who is high-maintenance respects their body and they take extra care of their appearance. If you’ve known a person for a long-time but have never once seen them dressed shabby, they’re high maintenance. They have the thought process that clothes are an investment and it tells a lot about the person. They carry themselves so well that others get conscious about their own appearance. 

3. You won’t find them at cheap places

If there is someone you know who always suggests high-end places to hang-out at and politely backs out when a not-so-high-end place is finalized for the meet-up, no they didn’t suddenly remember a meeting at the exact date and time, they’re just high-maintenance and not willing to lower that bar for anyone.  

4. They are careful about who they hang-out with

All of us know people who hang out with the best, this is because they’re high-maintenance. You are the average of the people you surround yourself with; high-maintenance people live by this saying. Can you blame them for trying to have a positive influence in their life that will encourage growth? Well, I don’t.  

5. They have their routine & diet in check

People who are high maintenance keep a close eye on their daily routine. They want to make the best use of their time which is why you will always notice them being conscious about their routine. Most of such people go to bed early to start the day with a healthy bedtime and morning routine. They worship their body since if their body isn’t functioning at its best, they won’t be able to spend the day productively. This is why, you’ll see them ordering fresh juices and freshly baked bread because for them, giving their body the best of all is a priority. 

6. They have their finances in check

People who are high-maintenance need finances to support that living. They don’t cut down on expenses but they’re always looking for opportunities to increase their income. You won’t see a high-maintenance person switch up their lavish meals with instant food just because they’re low on cash, you will see them spend wisely and hustling more to support their living standards.  

7. They’re far from people-pleasers

High-maintenance people are not people pleasers. They surround themselves with people who expect to be respected and who are respectful of others too. They give respect to everyone they meet but never stoops to the level to compromise their own respect in order to please another person.  

8. They’re always trying to learn

Did you ever come across a person who is always open to learning new things? Well, that’s a sign that they’re high-maintenance. People who are high-maintenance carry the belief that their brain capacity must be used up to the maximum. In their opinion, learning new skills and polishing their current ones is the right way to respect their potential.  

Should I Lower My Standards If Others Find It Too High?

Not at all. Consider cutting back on hanging out with people (others) who tell you that your standards are high. Don’t let other’s incapability of fighting for the best hold you back from getting the best. Switch up your circle until you find the people who encourage your journey and motivates you to strive for even better things.  

Related Article: Here’s Why You Should Not Care About Anything But Yourself
Here’s Why You Should Not Care About Anything But Yourself

In a world that hurries, runs, and never stops, it is not easy to remain honest, to care about anything but yourself, and be an authentic individual.


As the world around us has progressed, the lives of people have gotten seriously hectic. Unfortunately, this has led them into running after what’s easy. You’ll notice that most people settle for instant packaged food, friends who don’t urge you to step-up or even partners who are easy to be around? Well, if the things that are in your life aren’t adding value and flourishing you, you may need to re-evaluate the standard you’re settling for. The crux of everything is, being high-maintenance is respecting oneself, respecting others, and expecting to receive what one deserves. If you’re not one, shifting your lifestyle might be one of the best decisions you make.  



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