7 Tell-Tale Signs Your Boyfriend Doesn't Trust You Enough

Respect his feelings, then, talk and do something about it.

By Fred S.
7 Tell-Tale Signs Your Boyfriend Doesn't Trust You Enough

How Important Is Trust In A Relationship?

Every relationship has a few pillars that it stands on, and without even one of them, the whole foundation would fall over.

In a romantic relationship, one of the most important pillars is that of trust. A few others would be the likes of communication and love, for example. Trust, in particular, is not just vital, but paramount, when it comes to building and maintaining a healthy romantic relationship.

Clear communication and complete trust are crucial aspects to any healthy relationship between lovers.

What Happens Once Trust Is Broken?

A lack of trust in the relationship could have drastic effects. In most cases, it would honestly just break the underlying bond that keeps the two people jelled together. People naturally feel like they can totally trust the person they love, as they have promised to love them back. They feel like they can fully be themselves around their lover, and vice versa.

Trust genuinely is the defining factor of how ‘committed’ a relationship actually is, if at all. When one of the parties do something to break that trust, it can be incredibly hard to win it back. In most cases, the other person is too heartbroken to give second chances, especially in more serious cases like having been cheated on.

7 Tell-Tale Signs Your Boyfriend Doesn't Trust You Enough

1. They ask too many questions

An inquisitive behavior is a by-product of a lack or loss of trust. If you feel like you’re constantly being low-key interrogated whenever you come back a bit late or go out with your friends, your partner’s lack of trust is pretty clear. However, they could also be more protective of you if you’re going out late at night, when it’s not necessarily safe, so that shouldn’t be confused with a lack of trust.

2. They spy around on your whereabouts

If they’re going out of the way to confirm that you are where you say you are, they’re surely having trust issues. This could happen in many ways, such as them calling your friends to see if you’re really with them, or calling your workplace. Doubts on the relationship’s solidity can trigger such actions, and the suspicious partner gets more and more curious about their partner’s whereabouts whenever they’re out of sight.

3. They tend to check your phone

Have you ever caught your them looking through your notifications or chats when you wake up or get out of the shower? It’s a common response for non-trusting individuals to have an urge to go through their partner’s phone. It’s a major sign that they may be losing trust in you, or didn’t have it to begin with.

They could be super sneaky with it too – so catching them do it could be challenging. Often, partners who don’t trust their significant others will try and check their phone without giving off the vibes that they’re being suspicious. They’ll often resort to excuses like “hey, how does your phone work?”, or “can I see some of the pictures we took on your phone last night?” to make their spy work less obvious.

They’ll be sneaky, but not sneaky enough if you pay enough attention. Snooping on one’s partner eventually does more harm than good, as it can give rise to misunderstandings, and that’s where trust starts to break.

4. They’re not the same in bed

Sex isn’t merely a physical way of satisfying urges, at least not all of the time. Many people can feel obstructed in bed through mental roadblocks with their partners, and a lack of trust is the biggest of them all.

If a person thinks that they’re not the only one you’re sleeping with, they can sometimes give off obvious queues in bed such as not being able to get aroused or orgasm. In many cases, if a partner loses trust, it may put an end to the entire sexual intimacy element of the relationship, at least until the issues are resolved.

5. They go through your finances

No matter how mature a relationship is, what a person does with their own money is nobody else’s business. That doesn’t faze a doubting partner from invading the privacy of your finances, though. They’ll be interested in details like who you’re writing your cheques to, where you’re spending most of your money, and if you’ve been to places without letting them know (such as restaurant payments, etc.). This sort of behavior is downright controlling, and in many cases, can turn abusive.

6. They’re growing more and more distant

People who have trust issues usually have some sort of a traumatic past event that they’ve been scarred by. To make sure they don’t get hurt the same way again, they’ll avoid getting too attached to their partner if they’re having doubts about his/her loyalty. They’ll create space between the two of you, and avoid revealing more about themselves or getting close to you, keeping you at an arm’s length.

7. They’re giving off controlling vibes

In more unfortunate scenarios, distrust can lead to larger, more concerning issues in a relationship. As a defensive response from your suspicious partner, they may tr and control you more, limiting your contact with others they feel threatened by (such as your friends of the opposite sex). It could be a warning sign for the occurrence of possible domestic violence if they’ve been showing signs of controlling or abusive behavior.

Whether you’ve done something to deserve your partner’s distrust or not, the only way to get through it properly is healthy communication. Trust issues can be worked on together by the couple as a team. If that doesn’t work, the help of a therapist can work wonders. For this though, both individuals need to have a can-do attitude and a positive approach to work on restoring their mutual bond.

Why Does My Boyfriend Not Trust Me?

In many cases, a lack of trust has solid reasons or causes behind it. It can be due to the unfortunate events that have happened to him in the past through previous relationships; such as being cheated on or having been betrayed repeatedly. If he has a history of unfaithful partner(s), even the smallest suspicious activities from you can cause him to overthink.

No matter the cause of distrust, the only way to fix and work on the issue is through honest two-way communication. It’s important for both parties to respect one another enough to hear each other out completely, and be positive about solving the problem together.

Can A Broken Trust Possibly Be Brought Back Again? Will It Be The Same?

Trust is extremely hard to build and foster, but really easy to break – that’s just how it is. It can take years to build a positive and strong sense of mutual trust between two people, but only one mistake to lose it completely.

Trust can be broken on many different levels of severity. Depending on that level, it can be easy or hard to win it back. In more serious cases, where someone catches their partner full-on cheating on them, they’ll often not even have space in their heart for second chances.

Some people just can’t let it go through, so, depending on the generosity of your partner, broken trust can be brought back again. Remember though, it can take forever to rebuild trust, and tons of patience to endure the process.

What can I do to prove and show that I’m trustworthy?

If you’ve done something or made a mistake to deserve their lack of trust, you can start by owning up to your mess-ups completely and genuinely apologizing for them. Explain to your partner what inside you made you do it, and how it is one of the deepest regrets of your life. Make true and heartfelt promises to always stay loyal to them in the future, and reaffirm that your loyalty belongs to no one but them.

Understand that it’ll take time for them to trust you again, so tell them that you’ll gladly endure that span with patience, as their distrust is completely understandable. Give it time, and consistently be your best self as a partner and lover to them, and remember, time heals all wounds!

Related Article: 11 Empathetic Ways to Handle a Partner With Trust Issues
11 Empathetic Ways to Handle a Partner With Trust Issues

How to collaborate with your partner to resolve trust issues

Summary

Trust might be crucial for any strong relationship, but doubts can occur at any time. Even if you haven’t given your partner any reason to lose their trust in you, it doesn’t mean that they can’t do so. Often, trust issues can be triggered through a variety of causes, such as events and memories from past relationships, or a traumatic childhood occurrence.

If your partner doesn’t trust you the way they used to, it’s not necessarily your fault. It’s imperative to eventually talk to them about it though. To make sure that your partner is starting to lose trust in you, look for the even signs we’ve discussed above. All the best!

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