Married Man: “I Love You” - 6 Signs He’s In Love With You

Whatever he does or tells you, the bottom line is: he is married.

By Sylvia Epie
Married Man: “I Love You” - 6 Signs He’s In Love With You

Who Do We Often Hear “I Love You” From?

man wearing black top about to kiss woman

There’s a popular joke that the three words every girl wants to hear are ‘’I Love You’’ while the three words every guy wants to hear are ‘’ Let’s Get Naked’’. As hilarious as this might sound, there’s an element of truth to it, not to say some men don’t want love nor women sex, after all, gone are the days when men had all the fun and women had to wait until marriage to enjoy the pleasures sex. 

However, in as much as you might to hear these words from that special someone, they sometimes don’t carry the meaning and weight you’d like them to. There are instances where the words ‘’I Love You’’ instead of making everything blissful and simple, stir up a whole lot of trouble and confusion. So, it’s safe to say the significance of these words is relative to the circumstances in which they’re uttered.

What Does This Statement Signify?  

man holding hand of woman standing near tree

The word “love” as used today means different things to different people, though we can all agree that it has a romantic connotation, the feeling in itself lasts anywhere from a few weeks to a lifetime. 

When a married man tells you he loves you, it could mean so many things. For instance, he could truly have fallen in love with you, or maybe he means you make him feel amazing at that moment and the only label he can give that feeling is love. It could also just be lust or a ploy to get you into his bed and once that is done the feeling evaporates into thin air.

It generally means one of two things, first and foremost, it could mean that he's looking for a break from the normalcy of marital life or he could actually be in love. The only way to know for sure is to give it time. 

What If A Married Man Tells Me, “I Love You”, Does That Mean He’s In Love With Me?    

person playing guitar

Most often than not married men want to eat their cake and still have it, so, when they say ‘’I Love You’’, what they really mean is ‘’I love you as long as you won’t ask me to leave my wife’’ or “I love you but my wife doesn’t have to find out”. And as long as he enjoys the best of both worlds all is fine.

On the other hand, there are scenarios where a man finds his soulmate after getting married to someone else. One of the beauties of adulthood is the understanding that love does not always lead to marriage and marriage is not always a result of love, other factors come into play. ( If you hadn’t realized that yet, sorry to burst your bubble).

This is to say that when a married man tells you he loves you, don’t just take his word for it or completely dismiss it, take your time and consider all its implications before reciprocating or rejecting his claim.

6 Signs a Married Man Is In Love With You

1. He Makes You His Priority

grayscale photography of woman holding man's face

A man who constantly takes your emotional health and feelings into account is committed to your wellbeing. He makes you a priority even when he’s busy with work, his family, and even his wife. This reveals that he’s in it for the long haul, you are now a part of him and he feels the need to call or text you when he is away. This is very different from a man who disappears and reappears, comes to you only when he’s bored, in need of sex, or wants a distraction from his other life. Making you and your affairs a priority is a clear indicator of his feelings for you.

2. He Makes Plans With You For The Future 

We all know of those guys who promise you the moon and the stars but never get around to delivering, but that's not what we mean. When a married man makes concrete and feasible plans with you and takes the necessary steps to bring those plans to fruition, he is most likely in love with you.

It does not have to be something big, for instance, something as small as a holiday together, taking a trip to a place he’s never visited shows he wants to make memories with you and that’s a sign of commitment. A man who doesn’t love you wouldn’t mind meeting you in a hotel room every day of your relationship. A man who is willing to expand your relationship beyond the bedroom sees you as a long term partner.

3. Missing Special or Significant Events to Be With You

man and girl sitting on brown dock near boat and two white ducks during daytime

Missing important events to be with you shows that you matter, even in situations where the man's marriage is falling apart, his children always take first place in his life. So, if he chooses to miss a school play, a dance recital, or a family event to be with you, he’s in love. Just the fact that he is willing to risk getting caught by missing an anniversary, a wedding, etc shows he is all in. If he wants to stay with his wife, he wouldn’t take any chances. A married man who is not afraid of his affair blowing up in his face is a man who believes you are worth all the trouble.

4. Buying you a property

Married men are known to buy their mistresses expensive gifts, everything from luxury items, jewelry, cars, and trips. This might not mean anything to him especially if he is rich. Heck, he could spoil you with diamonds, gold, and silver, things he’ll never give his wife and it still doesn’t mean he loves you. 

However, if he buys you a house, real estate investments, or a property, know he's on the right track. We don’t mean a ready-made love nest for both of you to hideout in. If you both pick a house, renovate it, furnish and decorate it together, plan on living in it, and raising kids in it, then your relationship might be going steady. This is because buying property is a huge step that easily leaves a paper trail that can attract attention from his wife, his bank, job, friends, and family.

5. Exchanging Messages On Important Occasions

man sitting beside table holding silver iPhone 7 Plus

When a married man is playing you, the last thing he’ll want is to get in touch with you when he is not with you. He might even put restrictions on when you can call, meet, or the places you can visit. But when he is really in love, chances are he will reach out to you even when he is with his family.

He’ll text you at night, get in touch at Christmas, thanksgiving, and other major family moments when he can’t be with you. He lets you know that even though he is far away from you his heart is with you, that’s a sign he is hooked. Though in some cases this could be because he is infatuated or has feelings of lust towards you. Whichever may be the case take your time until you are sure which way the scale is tipping.

6. He Leaving His Wife For You

This is the ultimate gesture women are always waiting for when in a relationship with a married man and unfortunately it doesn’t happen 9 out of 10 times. When a man finally has the balls to leave his wife for you, there’s no doubt he is head over heels in love with you. Some men might have fallen out of love with their wives a long time ago but they wouldn’t leave their marriage. Probably because of their kids, their family, friends, comfort, or for financial reasons, so, when he finally gathers the courage to jeopardize his children's future, his reputation, and all the emotional mess a divorce is likely to bring, rest assured he’s madly in love.

Should I Reciprocate His Feelings?    

couple hugging on road

As a general rule, building your happiness at the expense of someone else’s is never a good idea. You don’t want to be ‘’the other woman’’ that person who broke a happy home or ripped a family apart. So, you should do everything in your power to stay clear of married men.

That said, life isn’t always all white or black, there often are circumstances that are beyond our control. If by some twist of fate you find yourself in a relationship with a married man, and can’t help it, maybe he is in a bad marriage, or an open relationship here’s what you can do to make sure he genuinely loves you before going all in.

First of all, you have to bear in mind that only time can truly tell if someone is truly in love with you or not. True love is persistent and stands the test of time, you shouldn’t jump into such a relationship with both feet without seeing how it plays out over time. If a married man professes his love for you, give it time, let’s say about a year give or take, find out if he still feels the same for you after that long. After a year, you can feel relatively comfortable that the other person is consistent and mean what they say but still tread with caution, there are always exceptions.

The next thing you want to do is to set boundaries, draw a line from the onset and let him know what you are willing to take and the things you aren’t. Such a relationship is bound to get complicated at some point, so, make sure there are no blurred lines, lay out your expectations clearly for him to understand. Talk about what’s important to you, your expectations and desires, you too deserve to be loved and cared for. For instance, if you need him to reassure you by calling every day or spending weekends with you, tell him. This is not one of those situations your wing and makes the rules as you go. The only way to avoid disaster down the road is to be upfront and transparent about your feelings from the start.

Related Article: 9 Ways to Stop Loving a Married Man and Avoid an Affair
9 Ways to Stop Loving a Married Man and Avoid an Affair

What to do when you know that an affair is wrong but can't help it?


person wearing white dress shirt

The bottom line here is you should do all you can not get entangled with a married man, such situations hardly ever work out. But if you’re already in such a relationship, do what you can to make sure you are doing the right thing. Put a timeline on your relationship, check if he is consistent and if he has made any promises, wait, and see if he will follow through.  A married man who is not willing to respect your boundaries doesn’t love you, and it’s probably time to re-evaluate your relationship.