5 Reasons Why You Don’t Have a Boyfriend and Why It's Okay

The only timeline that matters in life is yours, just be patient.

By Madiha A.
5 Reasons Why You Don’t Have a Boyfriend and Why It's Okay

When Do People Usually Explore And Begin Being In A Relationship?

Being social animals, it is in the nature of humans to live in groups. We simply cannot survive alone. We need to connect with other humans to live to the fullest. From saying hi to this world to saying bye, we need someone to share our life with. Every relationship is important and has its own incomparable value. From parents to siblings, and friends to romantic relationships, each plays a special role in our lives and shapes us into “us”. 

So, the question here is when doing people usually explore relationships and begin being in a relationship? The answer to this question may vary from person to person but most people start exploring relationships during puberty. The growing up years come with a lot of surprises for kids and one of them is developing feelings for others. Feelings that are different from how you feel for your parents, siblings, or best friends. Moreover, if one of your friends is already in a relationship, the need to give this adventure a try becomes irresistible.   

Why Do People Want To Be In A Relationship?    

Living in pairs and groups comes naturally to all the living creatures. Be it humans or animals, the need to love and be loved is in the mere nature of living beings. Even plants need a partner to grow and reproduce. Humans connect with other humans on various levels to meet their natural needs. These needs are emotional, physical, spiritual, and intellectual and to perform well, all these needs need to be met. 

Being in a relationship completes us. People want to be in a relationship not only to conform to the societal norms but for personal growth and wellbeing as well. We need someone we can share life, joys, passions, and problems with. Love is mostly irrational and needs no reasons but here is why people want to be in a relationship:

•    Relationship changes us for good. It helps us become better persons
•    Being in a relationship means having someone to rely on
•    It gives us a feeling of security and protection
•    It makes us feel whole 
•    It provides us with a person to share our joys and problems with

There can be several different reasons for a person to be in a relationship but love should be the biggest one to make it worth the while.

Do We Have To Be In One?

Relationships are important for several different reasons but do we have to be in a relationship? The answer is, not necessarily, but people around you will tell you otherwise. Being single and happy is considered two separate things in our society. For people around us, to be happy you have to be with someone. Falling in love with someone and having an intimate relationship is a one-of-a-kind experience. With every relationship, we learn something new about life. Relationships teach us lessons that no other life experience can teach us. We understand the importance of loving, caring, sharing, supporting, and encouraging each other.

Although relationships are imperative but are not in a relationship should not be stigmatized. If someone is single and happy, that is good for him as long as he doesn’t feel the need for a life partner. It all comes down to priorities and personal preferences. You should not underestimate yourself based on your relationship status. You should be able to proudly pronounce yourself “single and happy” and no one should judge you for this.    

5 Reasons Why You Don’t Have a Boyfriend

Whether it is your personal choice to stay single or you have not found the right one yet, being single is not as bad as it seems. I believe that married people who force you to get into a relationship are the poor souls who can’t see single people living a peaceful and happy life. 

People can be single for a variety of reasons. For a girl, who is single, there can be hundreds of reasons.  If you are wondering why some girls don’t have a boyfriend, these 5 reasons will make you understand from the girl’s point of view:

1. Haven’t found the right one yet

Most of us girls look for a perfect life partner. We look for a hot and dashing person straight out of a romantic movie and treat us like a princess. Most girls have a huge checklist of qualities they wish to see in their life partner and coming up to a girl’s expectation is not possible for many guys. If a girl does not have a boyfriend, it only means one thing; she has not found her ideal person yet.

2. You don’t want to change

Relationship changes you and you have seen your friends transform totally; for good or bad. One of the biggest reasons for a girl to not have a boyfriend is, she is not ready to change. She is happy in her skin and plans to enjoy her life the way she is. Being in a relationship not only changes a person’s personality but it also changes his lifestyle and routine. So, if you like your movie nights with friends, irregular sleeping and wake-up patterns, and time-consuming hobbies, you have no place for the liability called boyfriend in your life.

3. You are a shy person

When most of your friends were hanging out with boys, you were sitting in the college library under a pile of books. Reserve and shy girls find it difficult to get into relationships. Their introverted nature makes it impossible for them to initiate a conversation and be comfortable in a stranger’s company. Having a boyfriend needs a lot of courage and confidence which you obviously lack and believe me there is nothing wrong with it. It is just the people around you who make you feel less of a person if you are not in a relationship.

4. You are too independent

An independent and self-relying person does not need anyone else in their life. Very few people have the ability to live comfortably without sharing their life with another person. The reason for not having a boyfriend is your free-spirited nature. You want to keep the whole sky to yourself and want to fly alone. Like other girls, you don’t need muscular arms to protect you and a strong shoulder to lean. 

5. You are emotionally unavailable

Emotional blockage or emotional unavailability prevents us from feeling normal. It often happens after traumatic and life-altering experiences. If you have gotten out of a bad relationship, chances are you will be afraid to get into another relationship. If you don’t have a boyfriend, reason can be a bitter past experience which is making it impossible for you to move forward. You have made your emotions unavailable as a defense mechanism and will take you time to break the barriers. 

Why Is It Okay To Not Have A Boyfriend Yet?  

As much as it is good to be part of someone’s life, staying alone and single is perfectly normal if you are happy. No matter what the reason, it is ok to not have a boyfriend yet, and here is why

•    If you are an ambitious person and have goals to achieve, it is ok to not have a boyfriend yet and concentrate on your dreams.
•    If you are emotionally disturbed, it is ok to take care of yourself first and once you are better only then get into a relationship
•    If you are not mentally ready for a life full of responsibilities, its ok to wait for the right time and not have a boyfriend yet
•    People get into relationships to be happy and if you are already happy, no need to find happiness in another person and it totally alright. 

What Can I Do In The Meantime?

Life does not revolve around one person. If you don’t have a boyfriend yet doesn’t mean you will never have one. It depends on your priorities and your timeline. In the meanwhile, there are several things you can do including but not limited to

•    Pick up a hobby and get busy with something creative and productive
•    Join a gym or a health club and enjoy a healthy lifestyle
•    Start a small business; it is fun and beneficial at the same time
•    Get yourself enrolled in a course; learn something you were planning for a very long time
•    Join a charity or pet rescue organization; a great time pass indeed
•    Have fun with your girl gang, parents, and siblings
•    Continue your studies if you want to pursue a certain profession
•    Learn to dance, sing or play a musical instrument

There are so many things you can do when you are single and in search of the perfect life partner. Just stay positive and allow nothing to dim your spark. 

Related Article: Should I Embrace Being Single For Good Or Continue Finding?
Should I Embrace Being Single For Good Or Continue Finding?

When searching for the right one is getting tiresome...


Living without a boyfriend when all your friends are in a relationship may seem odd for now but nothing matters if you are enjoying your life. Happiness should not be associated with anything and it should not be expected from anyone. Happiness comes from within and only this kind of happiness is long-lasting. Maybe this is not the right time so be patient, life will definitely have something great in stock for you and is waiting for the perfect timing to hand it over.