Trapping Him Into The Friendzone
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"I am in a situation where one guy really likes me more than a friend, and he shows signs of wooing me. Unfortunately, I don't have mutual feelings for him, but I don't want to just push him away like that. What should I do?" We all have to be honest that being pushed into the friendzone is one of the most hurtful experience we can ever go through, yet trapping someone into one is much more difficult according to some people, especially those who are softhearted. It's heartbreaking to see someone trying so hard for nothing, but what can you do if you've set boundaries and you feel nothing else but friendship, right? It's much harder when the guy is a close friend because you know he is someone special in your life, and you don't want to completely lose him. You are afraid that he might keep his distance and that would eventually lead to being complete strangers if you firmly tell him to his face that he is just a friend, and nothing else. Do not worry because putting a guy into the friendzone doesn't mean you have to be cruel to him. The key here is subtlety—it might be a slow process but chances are you still get to keep the guy and maintain the friendship in the end. You just have to give him a nudge, nicely but firmly. Here are 15 subtle ways you can do to gently trap him into the friendzone!
Assure Yourself That He Is Just A Friend
Before anything else, the most important thing you should do is to ask yourself whether you are sure or not about what you feel for the guy. If you try to put him into the friendzone without being sure of your own feelings, it might end as a catastrophe for both of you and you might find out too late. Ask yourself these questions—"do I really want us to just stay friends?", "Do I find this guy attractive; even just a bit?", "Have I seen him in a romantic way before?", "Is there a chance for him to become my dream guy?" Why do you have to ask yourself these questions? Because if you are seeing signs of even just a little bit of romance with him, you might want to try out having an intimate relationship with him rather than just being friends. Or if you are still unsure, you should put him on the "maybe list".
Tell Him About A Boy You Like -- Show That It's Not Him
It is inevitable that the guy will initiate a conversation about the type of women or men you both want. If he does this, remember that it is his way to get you to talk about your ideal type and he wants to check if he is anywhere near it. Knowing that, emphasize the traits opposite to what he has, or if you are feeling rather bold, talk about the traits he doesn't have at all. If you can, mention a guy's name—not his—and tell him that you are head over heels for this man. You could even talk about the dinner dates you went to and emphasize how you enjoyed your time. Another tactic is to pretend you need his advice so "the guy you like" will notice you more. But remember to sound casual because he will notice if you are faking it. It will be way too obvious to him that you are trying too hard to friendzone him. This way will let him get the hint that he's nowhere near your radar and you both are nothing else, but friends.
Do Not Dress Up Too Much When You Meet Him
We are all aware that every woman always wants to look her best, whenever, and wherever. But, let us keep in mind that it is also a guy's thing to think that a woman is trying to get his attention when she dresses too well. And if you are trying to put a guy into the friendzone, that is the last thing you would want him to think about. Whenever you are with him, it is still okay to put make-up; but keep it light with the eye shadow; don't put so much effort on making your eyebrows on fleek, and put on a light lip gloss. As for your clothing, do not pick the best dress in your wardrobe—a simple blouse, jeans, and sneakers are enough. Go for the look of simplicity, as much as possible. This way, you are not going to attract further attention from him. Show him that you can afford to look your worst around him -- this hint will tell the guy that you are very comfortable around him because you both are just friends.
Set Physical Boundaries
Let us admit it, there are times where we tend to get too close to our guy friends, especially those who are closest to us. We get so comfortable that we let them hug us, and we let them hold our hands. If you think about it, these are pretty normal gestures between friends especially when you are celebrating a happy moment. However, if you already know how he feels for you, avoid physical contact. It doesn't mean that you have to shy away every time he attempts to be close to you -- you just have to maintain physical boundaries. You can still maintain the friendship without the intimacy of holding hands or hugging. When he is feeling sad and lonely, and approaches you for comfort, you can still do these gestures but keep it casual if you can. Deliver him the message that it is nothing but a friendship gesture. A tap on the shoulder is better, though. Do not lead him on with these intimate physical gestures if you have no plans to be romantic with him because it is cruel to give him false hope.
Emphasize The Importance Of Your Friendship
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When we are feeling even a little bit romantic towards a guy, we tend to have limitations on how much we will open ourselves completely to them, right? That is because we don't want the guys we admire to see our miserable side. As much as possible, we just want them to see our cheerful and cheeky side to impress them. However, we are an open book with our closest friends, no matter what the gender. So, to give the guy a hint that your relationship is nothing else but friendship, be open to him. Tell him whatever comes to your mind—weird stuff, and even boring things. Show the guy that you value him as a confidante and not as someone romantic. Emphasize that you take your non-intimate relationship very seriously. By knowing this, he will be at least a little reluctant to make a move on you, fearing that he might ruin whatever relationship he has with you.
Avoid Going Out On A Date With The Boy
It is okay to go out with him sometimes—a coffee break after work, or when he invites you to watch a game, or to go mall shopping—as these are normal hang outs for people who are close friends. But, if you can, do not do it so often as he will think that you are giving him most of your time as he might misinterpret this as dating. Turn down his invitations to go out on a date, especially special ones—dinner reservations, a walk in the park, or places you know have the possibility of being intimate together. The guy will think that you have other things to do if you keep on turning him down and may eventually back off little by little. If the guy is a really close friend you admit that you also enjoy being with him, to not totally hurt his feelings, you can go out with him, but suggest group hang outs. This is an obvious but subtle way that will lessen his chances to make a move on you.
Friendzones Are Not Priorities
The guy might be one of your closest friends and you are used to spending time with him, but if you are aware of how he truly feels about you, it will help him if you nicely hint that he is far from being number one on your priority list. If he asks for your time, know that it is okay to tell you are not available. Also, do not show him that you are willing to re-organize your schedule so you can make a space for him. It will just give the guy false hope that he is someone very significant in your life. However, do not ignore him totally. If he texts you a lot, you can still text him back. You can still talk to each other in a funny way through texting or chatting. But, always emphasize on being casual, and nothing else more.
Do Not Meet The Boy's Family Or Friends
One of the things you should remember when you are trying to trap a guy into the friendzone is to never give him the chance to let you meet the most important people in his life; his family. Though it is not a taboo to bring your friends home even when it's the opposite sex, you willcause misunderstandings on his family's side. You will hear questions and remarks from his parents and siblings such as, "you finally brought someone home!", "you look good together!", "how did you meet?", "what do you like about my son?", "Is she your girlfriend?", and more. It's never disrespectful to say the truth -- nicely of course, but when you meet his family, it is going to be more difficult for you to show him that you are just friends and nothing more because his family might become attached to you. Do not build attachment with the guy's close friends too. You can talk to them or make friends with them through texts, but avoid meeting them in person. They will get the impression that you are someone significant in their friend's life.
"You Are Like A Brother" Hints Friendzone
One of the funny ways you can hint that you want to push him into the friendzone is to call the guy your brother, or compare him to a family member. Well, it is not exactly a funny way for the guy—who wants to be push into the friendzone, right? But this tactic is pretty much used in memes in social networking sites. We know that a soldier has fallen and failed his mission when a girl he likes tells him, "you are just like my brother!" This is one of the ways to nicely emphasized that your relationship is just purely friendship. Why? Because the guy will figure out that you do not look at him as someone romantic or sexy. Do not let him see though that you notice how hurtful he gets whenever you say it, because he might think you are just playing with him. It is much better if you can be casual about it.
Push The Boy Into The Friendzone: Be His Wingwoman
There will be times where the guy will talk to you about "a girl he likes very much", and although you already know too well that it is you he's describing, always pretend that you are unaware of it. He will even ask advice on how to approach this girl. You can go along nicely with this game by listening to him when he talks,and give the advice that he's asking for. You can pretend to be his relationship guru and teach him how to approach girls but never ever use yourself as an example as the guy might misinterpret it. Never use "I", rather, use "they". Another thing you can do is to try to get him to meet other single female friends of yours, and then the guy will surely get the hint that you are not interested in him. This way, you are nicely pushing him into the friendzone because you are also kind of looking out for his love life, right?
The "Changing The Subject" Tactic
Another funny and subtle way to let him know that you are just friends is the tactic of changing the subject. A guy who likes you will always find an opportunity to hint that he admires you. He might compliment you, hint about being together as a couple, or if he is brave enough, he will outright confess his feelings to you. If a moment like this comes, the best thing you can do is to ignore the guy's comments. If he compliments you, nicely accept it and thank him but do not show him that you are overwhelmed by it. If he hints about making a move on you, treat it in a funny way and laugh it off. If he confesses his feelings, quickly change the subject. If the guy is smart, he will already get the hint that you are just friends and will eventually stop initiating these conversations. However, always do this in a kind manner as you might completely hurt his ego.
Let Him See Your Negative Side
When a guy likes you and hints to want to be more than friends, in his eyes, you are perfect. He will treat you as his queen, his angel. As soon as you notice that, subtly show him that negative side of yours. If you are the type of girl who swears, let him hear how you do it. Show the guy every now and then how much of a handful you can be when you are angry. If he's thinking that you are the most beautiful girl he has ever seen, try to be with him wearing no make-up at all. Or, through texts, show him how vulgar you can you be through words. Act like you don't want to settle down with anyone yet. You can give the guy hints such as, "I want to travel the world alone", or "I want to focus on my career rather than my love life". Be the opposite kind of his ideal type and there will be a bigger chance that he'll accept that you are just friends and gladly take himself in the friendzone.
Be A "Bro" Rather Than A Female Friend
When a female likes a guy more than a friend, she will try her hardest to impress him by being ladylike in everything she does. All of us are so comfortable around our closest friends that we don't mind giving a loud burp or a fart around them, but admit it: you would never do that in front of a guy you admire. If you feel that one of your guy friends is stepping outside the friendzone line, try to act more like a "bro" to him rather than a ladylike female friend. If he feels that you are too comfortable around him, he might get the hint that you're showing him that you are not woman-to-date material.
Honesty Is The Best Policy
What better way than to tell the guy honestly that he should stay in the friendzone? A lot o people say that being too honest can sometimes be brutal, yes that may be true, but it also shows sincerity most of the time. If your feelings aren't really mutual, the guy has the right to know the truth so he won't waste his time trying hard for nothing. If you don't want to deliver the message seriously, it's up to you if you want to say it in a funny way—it is much better actually because he will see that you are really comfortable with the two of you being friends. Or, if you don't like to come face to face with drama, you can say it through text or chat. It won't matter however you want to put him into the friendzone as long as you are being honest with him.
If He Keeps On Persisting, Keep Your Distance
Now, if even after doing everything to show him that your relationship won't ever be more than just friends this guy keeps on persisting, it's high time to accept the hard reality that you might have lose him for a while. If he is way too confident and won't take "no" for an answer, you should start keeping your distance. Avoid making contact with him until he gets over you—don't text him back, don't answer his calls, and don't see him in person.