Channel Your Inner Feline: 20 Red-Hot Ways To Dominate Your Man

Although some may still consider it a taboo subject, there's no doubt that our society has a fascination with domination—regardless of which side it comes from. Mainstream media has covered the subject a lot, from Fifty Shades of Grey to pictures of women in black leather and spandex; domination is a pretty common idea now. With that said, the act of domination is usually much easier said than done. You've seen that woman dressed in skin-tight leather—much like a Catwoman Halloween costume—brandishing a whip, ready to dominate her man. You've seen depictions of that same woman in high heels with her legs propped up on her man's back or the stiletto heel of her shoe pressed into his chest.

Well, no more feeling self-conscious about whether or not you could handle domination—no more worrying about how to step up in your relationship. You can be a boss, just like that woman in leather. (And no, you don't necessarily have to wear the outfit to do it!) But we'll get to all that later. Before we start, we need to talk about where you'll draw your domination from and why you should do it in the first place. So keep reading if you want to learn how to dominate your man like a boss.

Okay, so you've heard so much about domination being amazing and empowering and all that jazz. Maybe your man has even said something about you taking control at some point. The point is: you're interested, and you want to learn more about it. Before we get started, though, we need to talk about one of the most important parts of learning how to dominate: knowing why you're doing it. Of course, reasoning will differ depending on the person, but it can pretty much always be boiled down to one thing. Women want to dominate so they can feel empowered. You probably want to feel like you're in control. In fact, when you dominate your man, you are in control; you won't just "feel like" it. Our society has taken away so much control from us that it's a good feeling to take it back when we have the opportunity (read as: "if we can't get equal pay, then we better be able to order you around in our personal time."). So here you are—learning how to dominate and be a boss in your relationship. It's important to know why you're doing this, though. After all, feeling confident in your decision to dominate will help you feel more confident while you're actually doing it.

Honestly, the most important thing is that you don't do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable. Domination is supposed to be fun. You're supposed to let loose and feel free with what you're doing—not structured, forced, or uncomfortable. If you just don't want to do something, then don't do it. It's as simple as that. Don't do it just because your man mentioned something about it or asked you to try. Do it because you want to do it. Of course, if you're just too scared (but really do want to), that's a different story; conquer your fears and take the bull by the horns! Don't let anything hold you back—except for mutually communicated boundaries, of course.

If you're normally not a very "dominant" person, you should probably take things slow to start it off. To ease you and your man into things, maybe you could start off with a couple of simple demands. Have him make you breakfast in bed or rub your feet while you kick back and read your favorite book. Make him refer to you by a title or pet name whenever he speaks to you. (You could go as far as to make him call you "mistress" or even just a cute pet name he already uses.) Maybe you could make him sit on the floor while you relax in the comfy chair. The whole point is to play around with it. Have fun. You're not ordering him around because (hopefully) he'll actually want to do those things. Never make your man do something he doesn't want to do—just like you wouldn't want him to do that to you, either.

Before you do anything—whether it's a simple demand or some dominating spanks, you need to set some boundaries with your man. What is he comfortable with? What are you comfortable with? It may be helpful to do some research on typical domination scenarios to get a good idea of how far some people will take it. If your man isn't down with getting whipped, you've got to respect that. Just remember that you don't have to go the whole nine yards for this to work. All you need to do is have fun with things both of you want to do.

Because this whole thing is about you taking control and being a boss diva, you should pamper yourself first. Paint your toes, do your hair, or do whatever else makes you feel like a queen. Look in the mirror and feel like a million bucks. You might even take this a step further and have your man do it for you. Make him kneel at your feet and paint your toes if you want. (If you are painting your nails, red is a great color; it represents passion and power, which is perfect for the topic at hand.)

Even though dominating is about you taking control, it's also about mutual enjoyment. Try asking your man what he wants or if there's something he fantasizes about. This could even help you come up with ideas if you're drawing a blank. If you're not used to dominating, having him tell you what to do—although counteractive, yes—could be a good way.

Always make sure that you're able to trust each other. Trust is a very important part of any dominant/submissive relationship—especially when things start getting a little more intense. After all, you'll definitely want to trust the person who's breaking out the whip on you. Make sure, before you start, that you both have a full understanding of each other. Trust that neither of you will take anything too far nor do something the other has expressed dislike towards.

While asking your man what he wants is a nice way to start for the inexperienced, denying him is also a big part of domination. You should play around with different types of denial. Maybe you won't let him kiss you or touch you when you know he really wants to. The point of doing this is to reinforce the fact that you are the one in control. It's not mean if you don't let him touch you. After all, he did agree to this.

If you've looked into domination at all, you've probably seen a lot of bondage. Remember that this is totally optional; you don't have to incorporate any of this into your domination, but it could be a fun thing to play around with—if both of you agree. Tying your man up is a good way to support your control. He has absolutely no control over his movements and has to trust you. This is often a big deal for men to open up to such vulnerability, so treat the situation with care.

Heels are a fun part of femininity. Wearing heels typically makes a woman feel sexier and more powerful—probably due to the added height, but that doesn't matter. The feeling that wearing heels gives you is the perfect addition to your dominatrix persona. Whenever you're in the mood to dominate, throw on your favorite pair of heels to get you in the mood.

Communication is essential for fun domination. Tell him what you like and what you plan on doing. You like it when he rubs your shoulders? Tell him. You like it when he calls you that super cute pet name? Well, tell him, then. Doing this is great for your relationship, as well, outside of just domination. Communicating with each other will strengthen your connection and understanding of each other. When it comes to dominating, knowing what each of you likes will make things a lot easier on both of you.

Things might get a little awkward when you're first starting out. Don't be afraid to laugh about it! Maybe you'll stumble over your words, or the leather catsuit you just bought doesn't feel good and you keep pulling at it. This is supposed to be fun, after all, so treat it like it is!

Many women dress up while they're in the dominating mood. We talked about this earlier: the woman in leather, looking like Catwoman. While you don't have to go all out in leather and lace, having a special "domination outfit" may be a fun way to get you in the mood and let your man know what's going on.

Just like we talked about before, communication is the key to a good time when you're dominating your man. If there's ever a point where either of you is feeling uncomfortable or wants to do things differently, those wishes need to be respected.

Remember that this is about you taking charge, so don't just dominate when your man brings it up. Let him know when you want to be in control—not the other way around. The fact that you're telling him that will be domination in itself, which is the perfect way to get things started.

As mentioned previously when we talked about boundaries, there are a ton of different things you could do during domination. Some things might seem a little weird, but you might actually like them if you tried. If you do some research and find something that piques your interest—for example, maybe using a leash?—bring it up with your man and see where he stands! If you are interested, then try it out and see how you like it. Maybe you'll hate it, but at least you can say you tried.

You're in charge, and sometimes authorities need to dish out some punishment when they're not listened to. If you told your man not to do something and he does it anyway, "punish" him. Discipline can take any form so long as it's not necessarily something he'd want otherwise. Or maybe it can be—it's up to you guys. Of course, all "punishments" should be discussed beforehand, and nothing should be done that goes against his wishes. If he wants to be spanked, then, by all means, go for it. But, if not, you probably shouldn't try.

This one goes along with being able to laugh at things while you're in domination mode. Don't feel awkward about what you're doing! If he wants to call you "mistress", test it out. Don't feel weird about it. If you don't like it, tell him and move on. Domination is meant to be an open experience, so have fun and let loose. Do weird things, and don't worry about anything. There's no such thing as a mistake because the experience is up to the two of you.

Be open to clichés. Organize a date night where you sit down with some strawberries, chocolate, white wine, and the movie that made everyone crazy about domination in the first place—Fifty Shades of Grey. Who knows? Maybe you might take a few ideas from it.

Just like communication in general, you should tell your man when he's doing something well. If he listens to you and cooks you breakfast just like you asked, thank him. Tell him how nice it was for him to do that for you—how much you appreciate him listening and doing what you ask. If he knows for sure when he has done something well, he's more likely to keep doing it. Think of it like training a dog: positive reinforcement is a great method!

If you try it out and you're just not comfortable, be honest about it. Maybe domination just isn't for you. If you don't get any pleasure out of it, that's perfectly fine. Some people are just naturally more on one side of the dominant/submissive spectrum than the other. Some could be both, too—which is called being a switch, meaning you can switch between being dominant or submissive and are not one more than the other. Try it out and be honest with yourself and your man; if it's not for you, it's not for you. And that's totally fine.

And there you have it: 20 ways to dominate your man like a boss. Be a diva; don't be afraid. Be confident and love yourself. In the end, that's all that really matters. Your man will love the fact that you're having fun, and that's probably what will make him have fun, too. So get out there and start before you psych yourself out!