Tips You'll Need For Your Dominant & Submissive Relationship

A dominant-submissive relationship entails a series of domination and submissive behaviors by the involved partners in an erotic and emotional play. Since there are various risks involved, both emotional and physical, there is a need for effective guidelines to ensure that the relationship stays safe. This kind of relationship requires a serious agreement as well as an unwavering commitment at a greater level than most normal relationships. A dominant-submissive relationship can have different angles such as 50’s lifestyle relationship, daddy Dom, or Sub/Dom. All of them depend on two things: love and obedience. These two virtues are interrelated i.e. for you to love your partner, you have to obey them. A Dom/sub relationship is not like a quickie. It has rules as explained in this article.

To practice a sexually Dom/sub activity, you must show empathy to your partner. Do not do something to your partner which you cannot have it done to you. You must put yourself in the shoes of your submissive so you can appreciate more what your partner does to you. At the beginning of the relationship, you have to make an agreement with your loved one when a situation needs to stop. Before every D/s session, decide on what sexual activities and behaviors the two of you expect. Discuss the kind of bondage, emotional limits, and precautions that you cannot cross. Empathy is all about putting the needs of your submissive first. It is important that you leave them desiring more. Check her after the play to find out if it was stimulating or a turn-off. Discuss what you liked most and what areas need improvement. During the role play, check in with your submissive to know if they are happy and comfortable. Note that the position of a submissive may not allow them to demand anything from the master. So, always follow the body language signs to know if you can continue or stop. Suppose you are using a whip- a good idea is to start lightly and build the intensity gradually. You can deliver strokes to your submissive only to areas of their body with sufficient muscles. Do not strike your submissive over delicate body organs such as the base of the spine, liver, or kidney. If you are using candles, make use of the soft and plain candles as opposed to harder ones which can burn the skin. Before you move anything forward, ensure that you’ve built enough trust between you and your partner. For instance, do at least three sessions of bondage without blindfolds to assure your submissive that they can trust you. When it comes to bondage, ensure that it is not too tight so that it brings fun as opposed to fear.

A wise dominant partner exhibits confidence and sensitivity. These two personality traits must be brought up in every step of the D/s. The value of domination is highly emphasized in today’s culture and only skillful dominants know how to please their submissive partners. Domination is not all about making rules and giving orders. Find out what else is involved.

There is one thing you need to understand if you want to be a great Dominant: the submissive desires to be given orders and guided. Don’t be like most vanilla guys who say very little or nothing during intercourse. Most of the things these men say are about their women’s body such as “you are so hot”. Complimenting the looks or personality of your submissive is good but sometimes it may not suffice in a Dom/sub relationship; you need to step up. This, you can do by directing her during the role play. Give orders on how she can please you more and what you expect from her. A good example of how to direct your woman is telling her to look into your eyes. You can also ask her to spread her legs apart or put her arms on your shoulders. It is all about making your submissive surrender to you fully so you can take total dominance. If you can make your submissive to feel as good as you do when you are in control, she will desire you even more. If you want her to change something, then you have to communicate it to her clearly.

If you want to dominate the right way, be courageous enough and admit what turns you on; then ask for it. That’s why you need to start by choosing wisely your submissive partner. If the rope work is what turns you on but your submissive prefers the daddy role play, things might not work between the two of you. As far as your desires are concerned, you need to be honest so you can attract a partner who suits your personal taste. Have your fantasies explained in an open communication whereby you lay your cards on the table so she can follow suit. Don’t forget to ask what turns her on, the limits she can push, and any requests she might have. For safety matters, the two of you should come to an agreement on things that feel weird.

A Dominant should be of great service with a heart overflowing with generosity. Like a massage therapist, you must attend to the needs of your submissive. Don’t just give orders; be a good leader and serve your servant. When creating a scene, pay close attention to her desires even though she may not be articulate. For example, provide her favorite food, play some romantic music, and warm light the bedroom. Even though not everyone is generous at heart, some D/s behaviors have to be learned for the sake of the relationship. Sometimes you need to let go of your desires such as the big bang just when things start to get exciting. You obviously want to push for a result when everything is so wet and juice but you must learn to hold and wait. You don’t want t leave your submissive hanging just because you couldn’t control your urges.

Learn to connect your heart to your manhood. While it’s true that she wants to feel your animal side, deep down inside her she wants to be loved. Do not sacrifice one thing for the other. As explained earlier on showing empathy, you must stay connected to your power and compassion as well. You don’t always need to do it harder and faster in a bid to be perfect. One of the best rules is to take it slow to build up energy for a deeper erotic play. Similarly, whipping her harder does not necessarily give her excitement. Stop blasting the scene with monotonous notes and think of more erotic strokes that will excite her. Let her know that you have her in your heart regardless of anything. If you open your heart to her, she will feel safe enough to open up. It is okay to feel vulnerable even if you are the master. Bearing that in mind, you need to be very receptive to your submissive- feel her experience and lead her on. Being vulnerable encourages her to come fast, so learn to connect to build up the pleasure.

Rather than trying to control the scene, learn to hold the space for her opening. Don’t stop feeling her so she continues to feel you as well. Sometimes you need to stop and take a deep breath to reconnect. The idea is to let the desires take control.

You don’t need to use every sex toy or outrageous sex positions. Forget about the BDSM myth that it is all about whips, chains, leather, and pain. Sometimes you don’t even need to get naked. Instead, opt for simple scenes such as blindfolds and strawberries. Know how to express your prowess and most importantly how to adjust it.

Have a safe space to express yourself. Note that meaning of safety in this regard is not protecting her from reaching orgasm. Get strong so you can hold her, but you don’t need to buffer her experience due to your own insecurities. This doesn’t mean you are responsible for her orgasms. You are only responsible for her safety because she is entrusting you with her body and mind. However, you don’t need to take on her work; remember you have yours as well. You don’t want to feel obligated to make certain things happen- you will be very disappointed. Your work is to feel her as she reaches climax but the extent to which she wants to open up is entirely on her.

Most people think that orgasm is the most important thing of the play. However, aftercare is equally important. The meaning of aftercare may be deduced as coming from high and reintegrating back into reality. Do not neglect this final step; it is extremely vital to your relationship. Help her come down with trust and love and it will help her stretch further in your future plays. Don’t be the bad Dominant who leaves their submissive feeling abandoned and not wanting to play anymore. After the intense moment, caress her, give her a warm towel, and some fresh drink as you share the peak moments you had with her. It is such gentle behaviors that created a deeper connection, so bring all of your gentlemanliness. Did you know that sex brings out the facets of your soul which are hidden in the deepest part of you? The more you bring them to the surface, the more your sub will trust you.

Dominance should shine throughout the scene. One of the best ways to dominate is to take the kinks position- a type of cuddling where you lay facing up as the submissive snuggles under your arm with her head resting on your chest while her leg entangled around you. Cuddling is a critical step in the actualization of your dominance as well as in helping your submissive partner to feel satisfied and relaxed. Give her the love she deserves by allowing her to cuddle up with you and inhale your pheromones. As she snuggles under your arm, the oxytocin will be flooding her system thereby strengthening the love and trust she has for you. Cuddle even after intimacy, but only in the King’s position. This position is a way of treating the submissive as your queen and inviting her to join you. By the position, you are dominant and your queen is the submissive snuggling up to your body. Note the word queen is used in this case, meaning she is second to you; you have elevated her royal status. Let her caress your chest and rub your erogenous zones in this position for extra pleasure.

Coming to an agreement with a dominant partner is not a light decision. You might be 100% sure that your personality is submissive but it doesn’t make you a great sub. If you want to master the art of submission, you have to assume particular behaviors such as disciplining yourself. Check out what you need to be the submissive every dominant wants to get involved with.

If you are venturing into the D/s lifestyle, you need to do some sexy homework. First of all, understand the meaning of dominant-submissive relationship and its rules. Don’t get confused- BDSM, kink, power play, and D/s are different. By distinguishing the meaning of these different terminologies, you will learn how to keep it safe as you bring your submissive personality into play. Even the simplest acts such as spanking can go wrong when done incorrectly. How to play safe D/s sex is explained on the internet so all you need id to Google to find good advice. If you will be using any sex toy, make sure you understand how to use it- read the manual instructions carefully. Excited as you may be, you should know that power play can create emotional problems, so take it slow. Work on building trust and learn what dynamics to expect.

This is probably the first assignment you will do upon deciding to enter into a submissive lifestyle. No one should coerce you to be their submissive; the decision is entirely yours. Make a wise decision if you want to enjoy the relationship.

After coming to an agreement with your dominant on particular rules and behaviors, you can let him punish you when you do something wrong. Sometimes, punishment brings extreme power dynamics so you have to discuss it in advance and make an agreement pertaining to what’s OK and what you cannot take. Your partner should reward you when you do an excellent job, for instance, by giving you a sensual spanking. And when you make a mistake he can punish you by say withholding kisses for about one hour. The punishments should start less intensely.

Surrendering your all is the true meaning of submission and it’s something you must realize first. If you think your personality is far from submissive, you should try another type of relationship as a D/s cannot have two dominant partners. Some people think that you should only give what you please but this is wrong. As explained before, a true submissive goes above and beyond, offering yourself till it hurts. You cannot hold back once you give all of you to the Dominant. If your partner has an understanding personality, they will want to know who you really are, in and out. By surrendering your body and heart to your partner, you will be giving him the necessary tools he needs to be a great dominant.

Show your servitude to your master by asking for permission to do stuff in bed. Beg him to touch you, kiss, and caress you. Know that certain things are forbidden unless you get permission. For instance, if you are not allowed to climax, try to hold back until you are told to do so.

If you have accepted the submissive position, you are no longer allowed to feel jealous because this is something that would kill your relationship faster than you think. Your dominant can have several submissive partners and so you must learn to deal with it. A wise dominant knows how to separate his submissive partners and respects each one of them. If you can’t fathom your partner being with another partner, then this might not work for you. Perhaps you should seek another dominant who wants an exclusive relationship. And if jealousy is a potential problem to you, discuss it with your dominant before you start committing.

The foundation of a dominant-submissive relationship is respect. The roles and responsibilities of each partner are clearly defined with the submissive expected to be totally obedient. If you want the relationship to excel, you must always obey the orders from your dominant partner. Partners who fail to abide by their agreement fail along the way in most cases. You have agreed to be dominated, meaning that you will wholeheartedly abide by the rules and orders made by your dominant. You cannot violate their trust or the agreement you made at the beginning of the relationship.

If you are considering entering a dominant-submissive relationship, make sure you’ve found a partner you know so well and one you can trust. If you’ve just met online, take your time to learn them first before you move on to more intimate activities. If this is your first time to practice D/s give your full attention and understanding before getting into a kinky session with someone you just met.