Maid Of Honor Duties Checklist: Before And After Wedding

Have you been chosen as the maid of honor? Read this checklist to help you get through the coming months of wedding planning for your best friend.

By E.M. Love
Maid Of Honor Duties Checklist: Before And After Wedding

The Maid of Honor's Responsibility

Being chosen as the maid of honor often comes with a lot of responsibility, and your main job is to ensure that the bride, who's usually your best friend, is having the time of her life. You'll help take some of the burden off of her by helping plan, organize, and keep everybody in line. Brides will often be quite stressed out as a wedding is a very big life-changing event. As the maid of honor, it's your job to help alleviate some of that stress. Here are some tips to help you be the best maid of honor you can be as you help your bride get ready for her big wedding day, and what to take care of after the wedding too.

Definition of Maid of Honor

According to Oxford Dictionaries, a maid of honor is someone who isn't married and acts as the leader of the bridesmaids for the wedding.

Sisters

Being the maid of honor is just another way to show how much you love your best friend, even as much as if she were your sister. The unofficial definition of maid of honor is often the bride's best friend who helps with everything related to the wedding.

Provide Emotional Support

One of the most important duties as maid of honor is to provide the bride with much-needed emotional support. Be there for her, no matter the time of day or night, and just listen. Give the best feedback that you can if they ask, but having a maid of honor who just listens is often all it takes to help a bride cope. If she's getting stressed out, ask what you can do to help in your role as maid of honor. Keep her spirits up by making jokes and doing something fun to get her mind off of the stress of the wedding.

Checklist: Before the Big Wedding Day

Getting ready for the wedding often takes months of preparation, and you, as the maid of honor, will have plenty to keep you busy.

1. Be in Charge of the Bridesmaids

The definition of a bridesmaid is a woman who accompanies the bride on her wedding day. They are also supposed to help with some of the wedding planning to an extent, so they can be delegated some duties by you as the maid of honor. Make sure all of the bridesmaids are doing what they are supposed to be doing. Make sure that they all attend their dress fittings and get their dresses and shoes on time. Ensure that they have all of the jewelry they need for the wedding day. Confirm that they all have hair and makeup appointments planned and anything else they need to be ready for the big day. Being the maid of honor, you may have to book the hotel rooms for all of the bridesmaids to make sure it gets done on time, and plan transportation for the group if needed. Be the one to email/text/call them with details about any pre-wedding parties or events. Make sure that they can all come and be on time for the event.

2. Help Plan or Host the Bridal Shower

Help the bride plan the bridal shower, or even plan and host it for her. This will really help her out and she will greatly appreciate it. Since you're also in charge of the bridesmaids, you can delegate some responsibility to them. Planning for this includes choosing what food will be served, a venue, music, décor, and sending out invitations. As the maid of honor, you'll also be in charge of writing down who each gift is from when they are opened at the bridal shower so thank-you notes can be sent out later on.

3. Attend the Wedding Dress Shopping & Fittings

You should go with the bride to help her find the perfect wedding dress, unless she doesn't need you there. Most brides will value the opinion of their maid of honor and would love to have you along. Also, attending the dress fittings is good support for the bride-to-be. Going dress shopping with the bride-to-be can be a great bonding experience. She highly values your opinions as the maid of honor and wouldn't want to do it without you.

4. Be the Main Point of Contact

Many wedding guests may have questions and you can help by answering their questions. You should know most, if not all, of the important wedding information since you're the maid of honor. Most of the information they will often ask should be on the couples wedding website, if they have one. Older guests are often not on the computer though and will be asking questions personally. Guests may ask where to send gifts, where the wedding will be, what hotels are nearby, where is the couple registered at for gifts, etc. As the wedding gets closer, it's always good to inform all of the guests that have been invited of what registries the couple signed up for and where to send gifts.

5. Plan the Bachelorette Party

The definition of a bachelorette party is the party for the bride-to-be that only women attend. It is the maid of honor's duty to plan the bachelorette party. You can delegate tasks to the bridesmaids to help plan, but it is ultimately up to you. You know the bride better than most people, so you should know what kind of bachelorette party she would like. The party could be a trip to the beach or just a night out at the club followed by a sleepover. As the maid of honor, you should be able to plan the best night possible for your best friend. Planning for this to be a fun-filled night that the bride and bridesmaids will never forget can be a lot of fun. Plan something that the bride will enjoy on her last big outing as a single woman.

6. Attend Pre-Wedding Events

Maids of honor should attend all of the pre-wedding events, including any rehearsals and parties to show her support for the bride. Attending these events will also help keep the future bride calm and happy as she knows you are there if she needs you as her maid of honor.

7. Plan a Speech

The custom is for the maid of honor to give a speech right after the best man gives his. You can keep your speech short and simple, as long as it comes from the heart and means something to your best friend. She will remember it for years to come.

Checklist: The Wedding Day, Before the Ceremony

The day of the wedding is the most hectic of all, and when you are needed the most as the maid of honor. This will be a very busy day for everyone in the wedding party.

1. Keep Bridesmaids and Bride on Track

Being the maid of honor, you should make sure everyone is on time and doesn't get carried away with drinking too much. Have everyone arrive early, so they have plenty of time to get ready. Don't let them have so much fun that they lose track of time and end up being late to the wedding.

2. Bring the Bride Food and Water

Make sure that she eats and drinks during the day so she doesn't get weak. Bring her plenty of water and don't let her drink too much to the point where she might embarrass herself. As the maid of honor, do not be afraid to let her know if she is drinking too much and warn her to stop, as no one else may dare to.

3. Help the Bride Get Dressed

Some wedding dresses can be impossible to put on without help. That is where the maid of honor comes in. Be around to help her get dressed, and to help her go to the bathroom if the dress has a lot of material to be lifted off the icky floor. Brides often need help getting dressed so they do not crinkle their dress. It is their day, so they should have all the help they can get, which is the job of the maid of honor along with the bridesmaids.

Where would we be without our bridesmaids? 😍💕

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4. Be Prepared for Any Emergency

It's up to the maid of honor to have an emergency kit ready for the day of the wedding with anything that the bride might need, including medicine, pins, needles, and thread for the dress, tape, or anything else that you can think of.

5. Keep Everything on Schedule

Help make sure that everything is on schedule in regards to other areas of the wedding too. Have the vendors' contact information, so if something doesn't arrive on time, you can call them and get their status. Be ready to direct incoming vendors, especially if there is no wedding planner in attendance. You'll also be acting as a host by answering questions, directing guests, and helping set up as the maid of honor, along with anything else that may need to be done.

6. Give Out the Bouquets

The maid of honor's job includes making sure that all of the bridesmaids have their bouquets and holding the bride's bouquet during the wedding ceremony. When the bouquets arrive, hand them out to the bridesmaids. If needed, find a suitable place to store them in some water until the ceremony. Don't forget it that it is your job as the maid of honor to take the bride's bouquet and hold it during the ceremony, and hand it back to her before she walks down the aisle. She may not be thinking straight, so it is up to you to make sure this gets done.

7. Keep the Bride Calm and Happy

This is perhaps the most important job you will do all day as the maid of honor. The bride needs you the most on this day, so do your best to keep her calm and relaxed. Make sure she stays happy and make her laugh as much as you can. If the bride is happy, everyone else will be happy too. Make sure that she is having fun on this big day and isn't too stressed out. Do something fun to alleviate her stress. Even jumping on a bed might just be the best thing for her at the moment. Being the maid of honor is supposed to be fun for you too!

Checklist: During the Ceremony

During the ceremony, there is not much you need to do as the maid of honor, nor for the bridesmaids.

1. Make Sure The Bride's Dress, Veil, and Train are In Place

You may have to rearrange the dress train if it is long so that the photographer can get good pictures. No one wants to have photos with a messy train during the ceremony.

2. Hold the Groom's Wedding Band

The maid of honor holds on to the groom's wedding band until the time the bride takes it to put on his finger during the ceremony.

3. Hold the Bride's Bouquet

Hold on to her bouquet during the ceremony, but don't forget to give it back before she walks back down the aisle. It is the maid of honor's duty to make sure she has it for the walk.

Checklist: Post-Ceremony Duties for the Maid of Honor

You're on the downhill slope once the ceremony is over, but there is still lots for you to do as the maid of honor!

1. Sign the Marriage Certificate as Witness

Usually the maid of honor and the best man are the ones who sign the certificate as witnesses.

2. Act as Hostess at the Reception

The maid of honor and bridesmaids should help show guests where they should sit and answer any questions. Point them in the direction of the bathroom if they need it. Ask them to sign the guest book. Let them know when the cake will be cut. Collect any money, envelopes, and cards from guests and put them all in a safe place for the newly-wed couple.

3. Bring the Bride Food and Drink During the Reception

Make sure she eats something, or place something aside for her to eat later on if she refuses to eat. Bring her plenty of water and whatever else she wants to drink to make sure she stays hydrated.

4. Enter and Dance With the Best Man

The definition of a best man is similar to the definition of a maid of honor, so it is important to coordinate with the best man and interact with him, especially during the wedding. Usually, the maid of honor enters the reception with the best man and dances with him right after the first song that the newly-wed couple dances together. Make sure to dance plenty with everyone to help everyone get engaged in the fun!

5. Give Your Speech

During the reception is when you will deliver that speech that you prepared to congratulate the new couple. Everyone at a wedding loves to hear a good heartfelt speech by the maid of honor.

this photo was taken almost five years ago, but i can still hear the MOH remixing @justintimberlake_of's mirror to be about her friendship with karen. since then, karen + garth have relocated to my favorite place on earth - new zealand (J-E-A-L-O-U-S). but i'm sending my love to the other side of the world today to remember this hilarious and awesome speech moment. . . . . . . #chicagoweddingphotographers #chicagoweddingphotographer #chicagowedding #chicagoweddings #chicagoweddingphotos #thanksgivingwedding #chicagostyleweddings #weddingstyle #weddinginspiration #weddinginspirationoftheday #weddingblog #weddingblogs #jilltiongcophoto #jilltiongcophotography #jtp #jtphoto #chicagolove #bride2be #bride #maidofhonortobe #maidofhonor #maidofhonorspeech #rememberwhen #weddingmoments #laughter #justintimberlake #itslikeyouremymirror #remix #bestspeech #maidofhonorgoals

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6. Take Care of the Wedding Dress

When the bride changes out of her wedding dress, either for the reception or after that, have a plan for what you will do with the wedding dress so it stays clean and looking good. If there are any stains, treat them immediately as best you can. Your bride may not care much during the wedding, but later on, she will really appreciate that you took care of her dress for her.

7. Help Make Sure All Vendors Are Paid

No bride wants to be bothered by a vendor, such as a musician coming up to her asking for payment at the end of her wedding. To ensure this doesn't happen, keep track of who needs to be paid at the end of the night and communicate with them on how they will be paid.

8. Make Sure Gifts Are Safely Put Away

Before leaving, make sure that the gifts are either put somewhere safe or loaded up into the car of either the newly married couple or one of their family members' vehicles.

Checklist: After the Wedding

After the wedding day there are still some steps that need to be taken.

1. Help Send Out Thank You Notes

This is especially helpful if it's a big wedding with lots of gifts. The bride may need help sending out all the thank you notes to those she got gifts from. Helping the bride send out thank you cards after the wedding for the gifts and for attending is what best friends do.

2. Make Sure Any Borrowed or Rented Items Are Returned

If any of the dresses were rented or borrowed, help make sure everyone returns them on time.

3. Send Out Wedding Pictures

If the other bridesmaids are waiting on pictures from the wedding, you can be the one to make sure that they all get them, along with anyone else who wants to see the pictures. Most people will see the pictures when the couple posts them, but there are those who do not use the computer much and may want to be emailed individually.

Conclusion: Being the Maid of Honor Is a Big Job

Being maid of honor comes with a lot of work, but it is worth it to make your best friend happy and help her have the best day of her life. The maid of honor is often the best friend of the bride. The definition of a best friend is one who would do anything for the other person, which is what being the maid of honor means. From planning the wedding, finding the right dress, to helping her cope emotionally, being the maid of honor can be a tough job. This checklist should help you get through this huge life event for her. One day she can return the favor to you, if she hasn't already.

True friendship.

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