How To Stop Loving Someone Who Doesn't Love You Back

Falling in love with someone is the most exciting thing one could ever experience in life. But would you also agree that love is not always about rainbows? That love, as much as it is always partnered with happiness, could also be the most painful thing to make one suffer? Some of our friends are lucky to have already found their beloved, who they will be with for the rest of their lives — the love in their lives brings excitement. But how about those who are in love with a guy who doesn’t love them back or a guy who's already married? The love in their lives is unrequited, and it is the kind that is painful. Heartbreak is difficult; we fall in love with a guy in just a snap of a finger, but it takes a long time to fall out of love, even after realizing that he is not meant for us. Worse than that, before a woman can fully move on, she'll go through different kinds of pain everyday — emotional, mental, or physical. There would be buckets of tears to be shed, alcohol to be drunk, a lot of time wasted on reminiscing, and sad songs to be listened to during idle moments at night.

Here is some friendly advice: if you are one of those people whose love is unrequited, you do not have to be a martyr, because he is not the only guy in the world. It's not easy to forget your feelings for someone you love but moving on shouldn’t take long. All you have to do is prioritize yourself above all else. If you have no idea how to stop loving someone who doesn’t love you back, we have some tips for you here so you can fully and gracefully get your happy life back.

One of the things you have to remember when you are going through heartbreak is that it is normal to feel pain. It is perfectly normal when one minute, you are all smiles and the next, you suddenly want to cry. There is nothing wrong with that. If such emotions occur now and then, do not stop yourself from grieving, as it will actually help you find relief. It is much better to admit to yourself that you are hurt instead of thinking that it's not a big deal. If you don't want other people to see you crying, then go somewhere peaceful where you can have some quiet time and be alone for a while. It could be inside your bedroom or a walk in the park and then you can loudly sob all you want. If you do not want to grieve by yourself, you can always call your most trusted friends to accompany you.

However, do not let your grieving turn into despair where you completely take yourself for granted everyday because that’s going to be unhealthy for you. Allowing despair to take over your life won’t help you move on from the guy. Instead, it would make you stay in love to the point of becoming obsessed.

Unrequited love is painful, but such things are normal in life. We cannot please everybody, and we definitely cannot make everybody love us back just because we love them. It is not their obligation. However, the initial reaction we usually feel when we find out that someone doesn't love us back is trying to make them fall in love with us. There are a few stories like this that are successful; there are those lucky women who made someone fall in love with them. But in reality, this type of thinking is unhealthy, much more so if the guy you love is married. Know that it’s not the guy’s fault if he can’t return your love. Besides, if you try to manipulate people’s emotions, there is a more significant chance of you hurting yourself rather than them. So, if you already found out that your love is unrequited, just move on while you are not totally invested in it yet.

One of the most common mistakes women make when they go through heartbreak is they still try to make the guy stay in their life. Even after finding out that the love is unrequited, some will not just let go - they will still hang out with him, always chatting with the guy, etc. Falling out of love is already hard enough, so what more if you let him stay in your life? You can’t expect to move on quickly while he is still a part of your everyday routine. Do yourself a favor and give yourself some space. Don’t worry though, because you don’t have to totally get rid of him forever and not be friends with him. It's only until you can forget your feelings. Un-friend and un-follow the guy on every social media accounts so you won’t see his photos. You should also delete his number on your phone, so you won’t be tempted to text or call him. If he is indeed someone who plays a significant role in your life, try to find other friends who’ll take his place. It might hurt to let go, especially if you already invested a lot of feelings in the guy, but giving yourself some space from him will make moving on a lot more comfortable.

Whenever we go through downfalls or rejection, we tend to bottle up our emotions because we fear that friends and other people may see us as weak. However, this is not true at all. Accepting that you are going through something painful is a healthy act, and it’s much healthier if you release your emotions, rather than trying to keep them hidden. When you find out that your love is unrequited, keep in mind that it is okay to cry. It is not a sign of weakness. Crying can be therapeutic because it will help you release the concealed stress inside you. You can cry alone or have some friends sit with you. However, don’t let your sadness turn into anger where you become violent — breaking inanimate objects, screaming and shouting at people, punching walls, etc. This will only worsen your mental state. You are building up anger which will change your views on life. You will let despair eat you up and instead of moving on, you will doubt yourself and lose confidence completely. You can deal with your emotions through art as well, if crying is too tiring for you. Learn to play a musical instrument and sing songs of hope, or portray your painful experience through painting. Do not listen to sad songs though, as these will make you feel down even more.

When we fall in love with someone, it is usually because they have something that we think is great. For us, they are the epitome of perfection. And with that thinking, it is natural that we want them to be part of our life. However, if our love is unrequited, no matter how perfect they may seem to be, we will not be happy spending our lives with them. So instead, what you should do is remind yourself that you’re better off without them the moment you find out they don’t love you back. But we all know it is not easy to fall out of love. So how would you convince yourself that they’re no good for you? Think about the harmful effects they may have on your life. For example, if you fell for a guy who’s already married, then the fact that he’s already married is a hindrance, right? You could also turn your focus towards his flaws, rather than the things you like about him. Perhaps his short temper will be too hard for you to handle so you might want to consider not dating him. In some experts’ research, focusing on someone's flaws will help you get past your romantic feelings for them.

This advice is mainly for those who are already married, and their husbands are starting to fall out of love or to those whose boyfriends have completely lost interest in them. In situations like this where you and your guy have built a deep relationship over an extended period, it is much more difficult to stop loving him because there are a lot of emotions that have already been invested. There are also plenty of memories — tangible or not — to be remembered so moving on is a huge challenge. Memories, be it happy or sad, are usually the most significant keepsakes if two people should ever part. However, if the separation has really broken you badly and you’re determined to stop loving him and to stop hurting, removing these memories from your life is one of the most important things to do. The events you went through together can’t be erased, like the day you married him, the day you said “yes” to him, and the parties you attended together. But at least you can get rid of the physical ones or the mementos. Throw away or burn the letters he wrote you, donate the teddy bear he gave you to less-fortunate children, sell the clothes he bought you — it’s really up to you how you want to dispose of them as long as there will be nothing left to remind you of him.

After finding out that your feelings of love are unrequited, you cannot expect that you can just stop loving him by ordering yourself to do so. In fact, while you are moving on, you will find that he will be in your thoughts almost everyday. Of course, you will not always be able to control your thoughts, but don’t let him stay in your mind for the whole day. You will hurt yourself even more if you let that happen. The key to stop your thoughts of him from letting you move on is to find distractions. Whenever he pops into your mind, you can always call friends, laugh with them and share stories. You can go window shopping or take a walk somewhere where it’s noisy and busy. You can also read a book or do household chores. You can do anything, as long as it’s going to keep your mind occupied. Now, remember that you are still allowed to think about him but at least set aside a certain amount of time for thoughts of him. Then after, go back to your normal, everyday life.

When your confession of love gets rejected, you would probably feel as if you are having the most painful experience of anyone in the world. But in reality, the guy who could not return your love could be hurting as well. People who can’t or do not love us back are not automatically the bad person or the villain. It's really just their emotions and they cannot control that. No normal person would enjoy causing pain to other people. Knowing that you are hurting each other everyday might make you determined to just move on instead of trying hard to make him love you.

Usually, when our love gets rejected, the initial thought that comes to mind is that something is wrong with us or we are not worthy of other people’s love. Keep in mind that we cannot please everybody. Just because some people don’t care about us doesn’t mean the whole world doesn’t as well. Aside from that, thinking such things would make it harder for you to move on gracefully. When you find out that someone you love is incapable of loving you back, instead of questioning yourself about the flaws you have, think about the things you love about yourself. By doing this, you can easily get past his rejection, and you will learn to deal with later rejections, be it in love, your career, or another part of life. If you are having a hard time thinking of great things about yourself, ask your friends. And instead of feeling down, tell yourself positive affirmations: “He might not like me, but hey, I am an artist, and I know tons of people love artists!”

Rejection is one of the most painful and embarrassing experiences but keep in mind that just because a guy doesn’t love you back doesn’t mean you are alone. Surely you have a family who loves you. You have friends who think you are great. You have colleagues who are happy to work with you. And you should use these people close to you to move on. It’s normal to feel pain when you know your love is unrequited, but you don’t have to go through it alone. Experts say that talking is one of the most effective therapies out there, so why not call your most trusted friends and vent? Why not talk to your mother about how much you’re hurting? However, don’t expect that all of them would understand what you're feeling. Tip: if you really want to vent, talk to someone who has gone through a similar experience.

There are billions of people all over the world! So if you get rejected by a guy you love, know that it is not too late for you to have the romance you desire. Although, yes, it’s going to hurt a lot moving on, letting go, and teaching yourself to fall out of love. If you’re really determined to help yourself, you can stand back up eventually with the aid of those who love you. Remind yourself that you can’t stay hurt forever, and the best reminder would be to fall in love again. But before anything else, fall in love with yourself first. Do not lose your self-worth. It is okay to grieve for the things you can’t have no matter how bad you want them, but try to search for another open door too instead of staring at a closed one. It’s alright to reminisce about the past but don’t let it keep you from having a functional life. It’s normal to miss people who are long gone, but you should not despair over them. No matter what your situation is, you should always put yourself as your number one priority.

After learning to love yourself, maybe now you’re ready to fall in love with someone else again. Do not be afraid to give your heart to another person. Do not dwell on your past. Rather, keep telling yourself that people are different from each other. Learn from your past mistakes — try to know the person well before you give your hundred percent and this time, affirm both parties’ feelings before going all in and saying “I love you” to each other.