A Failing Relationship Is Not Too Late To Mend
Being in a romantic relationship is the best feeling in the world because you are with someone you love. Whatever you go through in life, you have the security of knowing that you will never be alone. There will also be lesser chances of feeling down and depressed because you can always find a reason to be happy and that is the man you love the most. It is also exciting to count the months and years as the relationship gets stronger and lasts longer. However, as the relationship progresses, times when there is a chance that your relationship will fall apart are inevitable. Two people, even when they are in love, are still different from each other—contrasting aspects in life, different hobbies and interests, and different beliefs. When you enter a relationship, you should expect that there would be feuds, lying, and chances of cheating that would lead to breakup. Being in love is a good feeling, but it can leave you tired and broken if you don’t know how to handle it properly. Don’t fret though because a failing relationship is not too late to mend. If the couple is really in love and determined to work together to save their relationship, it could come back to the way it used to be—full of love and happiness. Here are 10 ways to save a relationship in crisis.
1. Remember the Old Times to Save Your Relationship
If you ever find your relationship failing because of whatever reason, always go back to where you and your loved one started. Remember the days when you just realized you were already falling in love—what is special about your partner that caught your attention? How comfortable do you used to feel when you see him smiling? By reminiscing the old times, it will help you ease the pain or anger you are currently feeling. It will lessen the stress the relationship is causing you and it will be easier for you to forgive your partner. Instead of letting the relationship fail, you will find a lot of reasons why you should save it and stay together. Ask your partner the same thing—what does he love about you and what made him stay with you for so long?
2. Save the Relationship by Communicating
Oftentimes, romantic relationships fall apart because couples never get to know each other’s opinions. The relationship just ends without actually resolving or even knowing the real issue. If your relationship is in danger of falling apart, the best way to save it is to communicate with your lover, but know too that there is a proper way of talking. The proper way is to ask your partner relevant questions, listen to what they have to say, and then deliver your own opinion after. The improper way is to nag him how the relationship is starting to annoy and stresses you and not even listening to his side. By doing this, you are being sensitive and considerate. When a relationship is failing, it’s not only you that are being affected but your partner as well so try to be neutral and stop the blame game. Just a tip however, don’t try to force yourselves to resolve issues when both your emotion levels are over the top because chances of both of you not absorbing anything from the talk are high.
3. Don't Ever Forget About the Romance
One of the things you must remember when you enter a relationship is that you should keep the romance going no matter how long you’ve been together. You should watch out for your relationship being ordinary—although nothing’s wrong with that because you get used to each other every day don’t forget the fact that your relationship is special. Do something together—dine at your favorite restaurant, visit the special place you got together every now and then, or find out each other’s hobbies and enjoy those together. Relationships fail because couples tend to take for granted the time they’re supposed to spend with each other, so to avoid crisis, maintain the love that’s going on with both of you.
4. Avoid Asking Opinions Outside the Relationship
It is unavoidable to come to our friends for help sometimes after realizing that our romantic relationships are falling apart. Of course, when we are depressed, the people we’ll lean on are those we trust the most. However, this action is not effective at all times; rather, it shies us away from saving our relationship. Why? Because opinions from outside the relationship often don’t know both sides of the story so it tends to be more toxic than helpful. Your friends will side with you and get mad at your partner while his friends will side with him and get mad at you. And such opinions will just trigger your annoyance or anger with the relationship more that will lead to crisis and a breakup. If you really want to talk about the issues you’re going through with your relationship, it’s your partner who you should communicate with because he’s also involved in it.
5. Save the Relationship with Forgiveness
If you realized that your relationship is about to fall apart, it is understandable that it’s hard to just let go of the negative emotions you are feeling towards your partner. But however hard it is, it is one of the most effective ways if you really want to save your relationship. Don’t dwell on the past. Remind yourself that whatever happened before is already long gone—whether he was cheating on you, or you were cheating on him, or that something he was lying to you about. There’s no reason to bring back hurtful memories of cheating or other hurtful actions because nothing will change them. What you should focus on now is the present. Forgive your partner as forgiveness will ease the pain and it will more likely save the relationship. Besides, if you carry anger within you, it’s not the other person that is suffering, it's you. Hatred will leave you broken.
6. Confess Each Other's Secrets
Just because you enter a relationship doesn’t mean you have to give up your privacy. Know that it’s still your right to keep things personal to yourself but there is also a limitation to that. If you are lying about something to your partner that could potentially harm the relationship, that’s where you are abusing your rights. For example, if you’ve ever cheated and fully regretted cheating, confess that to him. If he gets mad at you for it, accept it and swallow your pride. And if you really want to gain your partner’s full trust again, prove it by your actions. On the bright side, if you fully open yourself to him, he might decide to do the same because he’ll get the feeling that you trust him and he will return that trust. If you really want to save your relationship from being broken, you and your partner should not keep secrets from each other especially if both parties are involved.
7. Set Relationship Boundaries for Each Other
After talking about the issues that might potentially endanger the relationship, set boundaries for each other but never resort to lying and keep your word if you don’t want the trust in the relationship to fully get broken. Tell your partner what you want him to do and what you don’t want him to do but be prepared when he tells you his conditions too. However, be considerate of these boundaries you’re setting for each other. Make sure that they’re not going to risk one’s well-being and happiness. Remind both yourselves that there is a big difference between setting boundaries and taking one person’s freedom. By setting boundaries for each other, you are trying to avoid occurrences that might spark arguments and a breakup. That—if you’re both respectful of each other’s wishes.
8. Quit It With The Mind Games
If your relationship is already about to fall apart, one mistake you can make is to play mind and power games. You are probably familiar with couples ignoring each other because they are waiting for whomever to give up first and approach the other. This is a big NO. You may get the result you want for a while because your partner may worry at some point but if you make this a habit every time you’re both going through relationship issues, the other one would eventually get tired and give up playing your game. If you need to resolve an issue, confront your partner and face head on the issue instead of waiting for them to feel that something’s off. In a relationship, there shouldn’t be a more authoritative and powerful person.
9. Give Each Other Personal Space
Even if you are already in a romantic relationship, you have to know that you still need your own time and space. You still have to live your life and you have your own responsibilities and affairs to attend to. As mentioned before, don’t let the relationship get too ordinary. However, don’t be too clingy as well because being overly attached to your lover can lead to a breakup if he gets tired. Sometimes, give your partner some time for himself. Allow yourselves to spend time with each other’s interests. Also, don’t forbid your partner to see his friends. Tell yourself that one doesn’t have to give up own life once they enter a relationship because it’s one’s right to choose how they’ll live their life. The only difference is that you already have someone to share it with.
10. Be A Good and Strong Team
Once you and another person get into a romantic relationship, you become a team. Although your own happiness is still important, both of you should at least try to focus on the other’s happiness rather than your own. There shouldn’t be someone who’s more important and should be prioritized when you’re in a relationship because if anything, you and your partner should be the best of friends who always stand by for each other. When your partner is having a downfall, be his shoulder and in return, he’ll do the same if you’re crestfallen. When someone outside the relationship steps down on you or your partner’s well-being, support each other. Be a strong team if you really want to save your relationship—don’t nag your partner for his mistakes, rather, help him stand up again from it. Don’t belittle each other for whatever flaws you both have. Always stay on the positive side and avoid “what if” questions. With whatever endeavors one of you must go through, you should stay together.