10 Advice Before Having An Affair With A Married Woman

Ever thought of having an affair with a married woman or you are even currently in one? Why not check out these 10 pieces of advice to guide your step?

By Emmanuel Onitayo
10 Advice Before Having An Affair With A Married Woman

Contemplating An Affair With A Married Woman? Count The Cost

Leaving aside the morality or otherwise of having an affair itself, there are many things about a married woman that makes having an affair with her a very complicated thing. The first and perhaps most obvious is the fact that she is married. She has a husband who has a vested interest in her and who perhaps, may not mind crushing anything or anyone that comes in between them. Again, in most countries of the world, marriage is a legal issue. Once an authorized body pronounces a man and woman husband and wife, in the eye of the law, you are trespassing to be found lying with another man's wife. There can be no justifiable reason for it if the case is brought to the court. In fact, in societies that are strongly averse to such, if you are caught, that may just be your undoing. Can we even brush aside the social stigma associated with having an affair? There are only a few cases of affairs that are not eventually found out. Here, we're talking about a married woman who probably has a child or two to take care of. How do you want to manage it that you won't be found out? Your illicit relationship would definitely distract her from her fundamental roles as a wife and mother. So, how do think you'd feel being labeled a home breaker? Would you love to be seen by her children as the one behind their life's predicament? We all know how little your esteem before everyone drops to if found to be culpable of this act. You probably know too well also that that may count against you in the future should there be a position of responsibility to which you could have easily been selected. Apart from all these, do you think there is really any pleasure in a relationship you cannot come to the public and affirm? Or perhaps one should ask if you can boldly tell your friends or business associates that you are in an affair with another man's wife. Everything has to be done in secret, and you have to keep praying you're not found out. Therefore, if anyone plans to embark on an adventure with as many things as are listed here at stake, it is worth giving it more than just a second thought. One has to be sure one is not under some spell or strange feelings for which one may eventually regret when the effect is gone.

Affair With A Married Woman: Could It Be Love?

It may be easy for any man who hasn't felt attracted to a married woman before to easily answer that dating a married woman can't be love. While that position may not be wrong, it is not usually an easy question for men involved in an affair to answer. In most cases, they usually feel that they love the married women that they are in an affair with. But that's because so many people today confuse love for just a mere feeling. Once there is a perceived chemistry between them and an opposite sex, then it must be love. However, this is not true. Love is more than just a feeling; it is a principle. Not every feeling that resembles that of love is actually it. It is the love principles that rule out counterfeits. It negates the very principle of love that a man should be in an affair. That is lust, selfishness, covetousness, or plain wickedness putting on the garment of love. Love, in the context of a relationship, is usually exclusive to partners involved. It doesn't play the Father Christmas with the affection, time, and commitment that should have been directed to its partner. So, the terrific feeling of attraction you have for that married woman is not and cannot be love. It would be a total mockery of this concept to call such love. If indeed you love the woman, you would refrain from doing anything that can harm her and destroy her joy of which having an affair with her is one.

10 Advice Before Having An Affair With A Married Woman

Of course, being a man that you are, you know what is best for you and no one can probably know what you're going through except yourself. Dating a married woman may sound theoretically unwise, but then, only you know why you're going for it. However, There are some extremely important implications for this way of life which you are planning to embark upon. To this extent, therefore, you may wish to consider these pieces of advice which probably can help you make an informed decision or completely back off the plan. They are nothing but pieces of advice of which it is going to be up to you to either accept or reject.

1. Put Yourself In The Position Of The Woman's Husband

Для бoльшинcтвa мyжeй иcтинныe пpичины yжacнo бoлeзнeннoй cитyaции, когда женщина заводит любовника, чacтo ocтaютcя нeпoнятыми. B хoд идyт paзныe ocкopбитeльныe cлoвa o жeнщинaх, «cлaбых нa пepeдoк». Убeдитeльными для ceбя oбъяcнeниями мoгyт cтaть мaтepиaльныe и/или coциaльныe дocтижeния coпepникa, eгo физичecкиe пapaмeтpы, тo ecть, фaктopы, кoтopыe лeгкo yвидeть и cpaвнить, пycть дaжe нe в cвoю пoльзy. B любoм cлyчae cyпpyжecкaя нeвepнocть пepeживaeтcя oчeнь тяжeлo. Moщный yдap пo мyжcкoй caмooцeнкe мoжeт дoвecти дo дeпpeccии или кoмплeкca нeпoлнoцeннocти. Дaжe в cлyчae coхpaнeния бpaкa «ocaдoк» ocтaeтcя нaдoлгo, хoтя пepeживaния чacтo cдepживaютcя внyтpи. Блaгoдapя нaшeй пcихoлoгичecкoй бeзгpaмoтнocти, мы пocтoяннo пытaeмcя пoнять дpyгoгo чeлoвeкa, cтaвя ceбя нa eгo мecтo, нe пoнимaя, чтo дpyгoй чeлoвeк, ocoбeннo дpyгoгo пoлa, ycтpoeн инaчe, и нyжнo нe пpoeкциями зaнимaтьcя, a yзнaвaть, чтo и кaк нa caмoм дeлe. Myж бeзycпeшнo cтapaeтcя paзoбpaтьcя, пoчeмy eгo жeнa зaвeлa любoвникa, тaк кaк oн cмoтpит нa cитyaцию co cвoeй тoчки зpeния, иcхoдя из cвoих yбeждeний, взглядoв и пoтpeбнocтeй. Дyмaю, бyдeт пoлeзнo paccкaзaть o peaльных пpичинaх вoзникнoвeния тaких cитyaций – чтoбы их пpaвильнo пoнимaть и пpeдoтвpaщaть в бyдyщeм. Baжнeйшeй чacтью внyтpeннeгo миpa бoльшинcтвa жeнщин являeтcя cфepa чyвcтв, эмoций и пepeживaний. Кoгдa жeнa пoлyчaeт oт мyжa дocтaтoчнo внимaния, кoгдa им вмecтe хopoшo, интepecнo, в их oбщeнии мнoгo тeплoты, нeжнocти и зaбoты, тo жeнщинa чyвcтвyeт, чтo oнa любимa, eё «cocyд любви» нaпoлнeн, oнa yдoвлeтвopeнa cвoeй cyпpyжecкoй жизнью и вepнa cвoeмy cyпpyгy. Тaк уж ycтpoeнo, чтo для бoльшинcтвa мyжчин язык эмoций и чyвcтв – нe «poднoй». Зaбoтy o любимoй жeнщинe мнoгиe мyжчины вoплoщaют, пpeждe вceгo, в видe зapaбaтывaния нaпpяжeнным тpyдoм cтoлькo дeнeг, cкoлькo нyжнo, чтoбы oбecпeчивaть ceмьe хopoший ypoвeнь жизни: жильe, aвтo, шoпинг, зaгpaничный oтдых, oбpaзoвaниe дeтeй и т.д. И вoт в этoм мecтe вoзникaeт пpoблeмa. Myжчинa иcкpeннe yвepeн, чтo oн дeлaeт вcё, чтo дoлжeн, и дeлaeт это хopoшo. Продолжение в комментариях 👉

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This is what some people call the golden rule. And to be frank, most of us wouldn't be doing what we're doing to others today if we would put ourselves in their position. Just imagine if you were the husband whose wife is dating another man outside; how would you feel? The chances are that you would feel betrayed; incapable of performing your role as a husband; and perhaps, dejected. You are probably going to hurt the man who is sharing your wife with you if it's in your power to do so. And, come to think of it; that may be the end of your relationship with that woman. Those are the things that you could do if you were the husband of the married woman cheating. Do you really wish to cause a fellow human being all of these pains? Please don't say you do not know the situation can aggravate to that extent; in fact, that's the least of the end result of your planned action. Only in a very few situations do homes where an affair has taken place remain as lovely as it used to be. The result is usually not palatable, and where partners do not even separate and are able to heal the wounds, the ugly scars would still be there. The husband may find it hard to trust his wife anymore, and that is in itself, is a big problem. If it is therefore not your wish to destroy another man's home, you will do well to reconsider your stance and take a U-turn. What you cannot take if done to you, why do it to others?

2. Write Down Everything That Interests You In That Married Woman

Yes, take stock of those things attracting you to her. Sometimes, the things that attract men to certain women may appear significant until they're written down. When you write down the cons of dating this married woman, keep it somewhere and then revisit it at another time or day. When next you pick up this book that you have written those things down, ruminate carefully on them and mark out from what you have written down those things that you cannot get from another woman. In other words, how many of the things you have written down are completely exclusive to this married woman you're planning on dating? You are probably not going to have anything on the list to mark. That's because for every point you write as a reason for wanting to have an affair with her, you probably can find other women who are still single out there possessing such if not even better. So, you may just discover you have been contending with something good while there are better things at your beck and call.

3. Before Having An Affair With A Married Woman, Are You Willing To Marry Her?

One of the likely outcomes of a discovered affair is divorce. In this case, since it is the woman that is married, she is the one to lose her husband and home. In the event that that eventually happens, would you be willing to marry her? Is she actually the perfect woman in your own estimation? This is one thing you have to consider critically before delving into an affair with a married woman. If things go awry with her family, she has no other port of call than your place. All of the promises you have made for her would now be put to the test. Consider how messed up the situation can turn into if you are not prepared to have a family currently. Yes, you can always deny her and even avoid her if she's thrown out of her home by her husband but what happens to your conscience? How often do you think you'll be able to sleep at night when you remember that someone's life is in shambles just because of a misguided feeling you misinterpret for love? I don't think you love to be caught up in a scandal, or do you? But that's one thing you may not be able to avoid if you fall into this kind of situation. What if the woman becomes a bone in your throat profession-wise? She goes around threatening she's going to divulge every secret information about you and her if you don't dance to her music. And you start running from pillar to post to meet up. Do you want this kind of life?

4. Affair With A Married Woman Can Lead To A Distracted Life

If you have a mission to accomplish in life particularly in your career, having an affair should be the last thing on your mind. Everybody knows that without a commitment to a course, success can hardly be guaranteed. You need to concentrate and devote all your potentials to your target before it can be achieved. Guess what? It takes a lot of effort to remain in an affair with a married woman. You will have to do a lot of scheming and planning to remain undetected even for a month. And you know of course that such affair comes with a financial responsibility. Some of the energies that could have been channeled into a productive outfit would be used to hold on to a woman who already has her husband. It can be very distracting. You will find it hard to concentrate and even when both of you are together, the fear of not being found out would still be there. So, if only for your life goals, you may want to reconsider your resolve. An affair is not for everyone, not even someone that has ambitions. You can fall so deep into confusion with it such that you won't even find your direction in life again. And if something is capable of making one get this low, don't you think that thing deserves to be run away from?

5. Because She Is Married, You Cannot Get Her All

Dating a married woman can have its own plus, but it surely does not come without some demerits. Like the paradoxical statement, "The more you look, the less you see." What you think you see from afar may not be what is actually is. No matter how much love both of you may have professed for each other, the fact remains that the woman has another commitment somewhere. Although there may now be some challenges in her relationship that is making her have an affair with you, the truth is that a part of her is still with her husband. In fact, if she has children at all, she would probably not want to place your relationship above her kids. So, the implication of this is that you are placing your life, integrity, and career on the line for a woman who is not totally committed to you. Of course, we can go any length for a course we believe in, but one has to be sure it's a worthy one. A married woman cannot be totally committed to another relationship other than her primary one. Truth be told, if there is a cause for her to kill any of you or her husband, she would probably not want to go for her first love. Don't be surprised she'll opt for you rather than have her husband dead. That's just an illustration anyway, but it's not far from reality. You are only playing second fiddle, and she probably doesn't see a future together with you other than the temporary pleasure you both are having. Therefore, remove it from your thought that you have gotten a woman or wife if she's an already married one. That's a delusion you shouldn't fall into. The best you both can have together is a momentary happiness which cannot last.

6. Have You Thought Of The Possibility Of Contracting A Venereal Disease?

This is not impossible. The fact that she is married does not mean she's immune to any of the many venereal diseases out there. Right in the confines of her home, there may be some things she and her husband have been managing which she wouldn't want you to be aware of. Trust women always to keep such secrets. Conversely, she too may be unaware that she has a venereal disease. By the time you both have sexual contact, you may end up contracting a disease capable of limiting your proper functioning even as a man when you eventually get married. Therefore, as advice, you will have to exercise a lot of caution if you insist having an affair with that married woman. Don't take it for granted that she's too pretty to have STDs; it's not usually written on the face. Only a thorough protection during sex can save you if she's positive about any of the diseases.

7. An Affair With A Married Woman Can Become An Addiction

Dating a married woman can be so alluring that you become addicted to it. And as you may already know, addiction to whatever thing in life is rarely good, not even to an illicit affair of this kind. You stand the risk of not wanting to let go of it again, and even if you wish to, you may find yourself unable to do so. There are abundant cases of men who thought they could just practice it once and back off. It was not their intention from the outset to continue in that way of life but as soon as they tasted it, it became easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for them to break loose of the chain. Their lives became an endless story of one affair to the other. The possibility of you becoming addicted to this act is one reason you should think twice before dabbling in. Don't fall for its allurement. As it goes with an affair, you only know the beginning; you rarely can tell how it would end. It may not even end until it sees your end. It would be difficult to get rid of her memories from your head. This is a woman you have had sex with several times and probably have developed some bonds together. So, even though you know the affair is illicit, you may not be able to break off from it again. Therefore, if this is not how you want your life to go, having an affair with a married woman should be the last thing on your mind.

8. Prepare For Regular Disappointments

This is not to scare you in any way but to prepare you for what you are likely going to experience. Having an affair with a married woman is an indirect invitation to disappointments and jealousy. These twos would arise because of her tie to her family. You and her family would constantly be in some sort of competitions and in most cases, you have no option than to concede to defeat. Consider a scenario where you have both agreed to meet for a weekend date at one hotel like that, and you have spent a lot of money making reservations to ensure the experience is nice, and just an hour to the time for the two of you to meet she just call you to let you know she would no longer be able to make it because her husband plans to take her out on an unannounced date. That's just one out of the many experiences to expect when you are dating a married woman. The result is that you start feeling jealous and offended. You start wishing the right man bad luck in your heart so that you, the other man, can have your way. I'm not sure this is something you want to keep experiencing. But if you find yourself unable to take your eyes off that married woman, you had better prepare for this for as sure as the day breaks daily, so is the certainty of you witnessing this kind of disappointment is.

9. Be Prepared For Anything When Your Affair Is Found Out

You cannot continue to have an affair with a married woman forever, No, it must one day be found out. And you know what? You would surely pay for it. God bless you if the woman's husband is a bad-tempered man; then you're finished the day you're caught. Men dating another man's wife have one watchword that is similar to the Boyscout's "Be prepared." The greatest evil you can do yourself if you are going to have an affair with a married woman is not to have your defense mechanism in place should you be caught. It can be so bad as to you losing your life. Therefore, to ensure you're not a victim of a fiery wrath, you have to be prepared for an assault if you insist dating another man's wife.

10. You Would Have To Learn How To Keep Secrets

How long your relationship with a married woman would last would depend in part on how covertly you can work and walk. If you are the loose type, you'd better not venture into it because the relationship would soon be discovered just as the time it begins if you cannot manage information. That means that even if you are in the midst of your friends or colleagues and everyone is talking about their relationships and homes, you dare not join them in sharing your affair. You never can tell who knows who and trust men, as in men like yourself to always give each other tip-offs on issues like this. It doesn't matter if you feel like sharing your experience; you just have to know how to manage information aptly and not to fall for the excitement of the moment. However, where this is a bit delicate is that the matter is not 100 percent depended on you. Just like you have to watch what you say, your lover has to watch hers too. If this is not the kind of life you want to lead, then you're one of the people an affair is not meant for. You are only wasting your time trying to be the other man. Men in relationships like this are usually unpredictable to keep their movements from being easily determined.

Final Thoughts

An Absolute Truth... DON'T BELIEVE THE HYPE!!!... ✊✊✊ There's no such thing as an available married woman or man... 🚫🚫🚫 Just a wife or husband who isn't happy!... Don't allow yourself to fall just to become a distraction for someone else's unhappy marriage... An AFFAIR is an AFFAIR is an AFFAIR... Funny how they're not in the wrong though, isn't it?... PROTECT YOURSELF!!!... Because they damn sure won't do it for you... Trust that your love will find the person for whom it's meant... As broken or as flawed as you both may be... you only have ONE true soulmate!!!... 💙💙💙 ✶✶✶✶ #dontbelievethehype #notyoursoulmate #soulmate #soulmates #marriage #marriageaffairs #hypocrite #fuckinghypocrite #unfaithful #affair #infidelity #poem #poetry #poems #poet #poetrycommunity #poetsociety #poetsofinstagram #poetsofig #igpoets #writersofinstagram #sometimesiwrite #love #truelove

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An affair is always a choice. You don't fall for it nor are you forced into it; you always have the power to resist it. This is mostly true if you are a man since most affairs are initiated by men. Sometimes, some of us fall into pits because we have no one to warn us. We get into serious emotional entanglements because we are naive. To prevent this scenario from playing out with you is the reason for this piece. You have gone through 10 pieces of advice about having an affair with a married woman, so you don't fall into the pit of regrets later. Those 10 points basically reveal the things to expect in such a relationship. You'll rarely see anyone okaying an affair because it is a matter that has little or no positive sides. If anything at all, you lose far more than you can ever gain if involved in an affair with a married woman. If she's married, why not leave her alone and look for another woman who is single out there? After all, there's probably nothing she can offer you that no other woman can. You only have to wake up and shake infatuation off your life.