Does it seem impossible to forgive yourself for cheating?
Perfection is what everybody dreams of, but the truth is, nobody is perfect. Mistakes are what make you human. It is a known fact that you will keep making mistakes one after another until you finally realize it. Making mistakes are a huge learning process as it helps you to understand yourself better and it helps you to react better during your low point. You might be committing a lot of mistakes either intentionally or unintentionally. It is really important to realize the damage that you have caused, make an effort to change the behavior and promise yourself not to repeat it again. Learn to forgive yourself for your mistakes and take corrective actions. Learning from your mistakes is a very important step as this helps you with a great deal in understanding your life. It is important to know how your mistakes have affected your dear ones and make sure to make amends in your action. Self-forgiveness is really important to lead a happy and a peaceful life. Only when you are able to forgive yourself, you can expect others to forgive you. It just takes a lot of courage and kindness to forgive yourself. Here are a few steps that you might need to consider if you are trying hard on forgiving yourself for cheating on your husband.
Self-realization for cheating
The first and foremost step for forgiving yourself for cheating is to accept the fact that you have actually cheated on your husband. This is the most painful process as it makes you realize the number of people you have actually hurt and understand that you have done a terrible thing. Realizing the fact that you have been cheating on your husband by having an affair can actually help you in your future course of reformed actions. This can make you feel like a bad person but you always need to remember that mistakes are a part of human life. It is up to you on how you treat yourself for it. Have faith in yourself. Nothing is impossible. Not many will be able to accept that they have made a mistake, but to accept that it takes a lot of strength and bravery. It shows how much you value your relationships over your ego. So, be proud of yourself as you are already doing a great job.
Understand your situation for cheating
Hasty decisions and making mistakes are a part of human life. Try to understand the situation you were in. Was it done on purpose or was it completely out of the blue? It could have been a sense of insecurity or a state of being vulnerable or a moment of weakness, this is to ensure that there are no cutbacks. Try to be true to yourself by completely understanding your situation of the mishap. Knowing this can actually help you to forgive yourself as it gets to the depth of your situation and maybe you might find the reason for why you actually cheated. Knowing the deeper inner you can help you in forgiving yourself.
Tell your husband about cheating
This is the most critical and scary part and make you hit rock-bottom. As it requires to face your husband and tell him that you had been having an affair and cheating on him with someone else. This thought itself might bring out your worst nightmares, but once it's done, you would at least have the satisfaction of not having a hidden secret anymore. It would be really difficult to watch your husband getting collapsed and the trust being broken down right in front of your eyes but things have to be done to set it right. You must need a lot of courage to tell him that you had been cheating on him, but trust me you are doing the right thing. Knowing the fact that your husband knows the truth about you cheating on him, might actually minimize your mental pressure.
Ask your husband to forgive
Tell your husband the truth and ask him to forgive you for what you have done to him. As this might be a great deal of help for you,to help yourself to forgive your mistake. Make him understand your situation, and how much of guilt you have dealt with since then. It takes a brave heart to ask for forgiveness. To be forgiven or not to be forgiven, is not what that matters most. The most important thing is, you have accepted the fact that you had been cheating on your husband and that you are ready to let go of whatever that's happened. Make sure that you do it face to face with your husband as it might be a little easier for you to know his feelings and you can be there for him when he gets heart broken. There are many other options though like texting him and letting him know that you had been cheating on him or let him know through his friends, but those are only going to make the situation worse. It is going to add up and hurt his feelings more. He has been there for you at all times and he deserves to hear the truth only from you in person. Also, remember he is the one whom you have hurt the most.
Reflect on your Experience to forgive yourself
It’s time to truly focus on what is the outcome of your affair, how many dear ones you have hurt knowingly or unknowingly. This is a stage which purely depends on self–discovery, so be honest and true to your thoughts and feelings. Tell yourself the true story and try not to justify your mistake. Rather understand your situation and promise yourself not to repeat it. This process is to know your true insights and help yourself from not repeating the same mistake again, which makes it easier for you to forgive yourself. Having clearer insights is what we are aiming for to achieve forgiveness. Demeaning yourself is not a wise choice.
You have had an affair and you have been cheating on your husband, but now you are ready to accept your mistakes and you are already feeling guilty for your actions. Now it's high time you to forgive yourself. Mistakes are meant to be corrected and not be punished. You have realized your mistake - that is a biggest strength and a special quality that you have proved to yourself, as many don't posses this. Feel proud that you have accepted the mistake and forgive yourself. Make a little promise to yourself that you will never cheat, or lie and never break any trust again. By this time you would have known how much pain you can inflict on people if you break their trust. Reform your actions and take the high road and be true to yourself and others by simply telling the truth and being honest.
Stop yourself from living in the past
Things once done are done forever. You can make no amends or changes to it by worrying or feeling guilty all the time. You simply have to realize that this is nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about and it doesn't make you a bad person. You need to understand that you have already taken the high road by accepting the fact that you had an affair. Stop cursing yourself or shaming yourself for cheating but be bold enough to face the world as there are many ugly sides for everybody which haven't been revealed yet. Tell yourself, you made a mistake but you were courageous enough to accept the fact and face the reality. So, move on, don't overthink about what has happened and for those things which you don't have control whatsoever. Try to rewrite your future by being honest.
Follow your heart and learn to forgive yourself
Tell yourself that life is not about being perfect but about being able to make mistakes and be able to learn from your choices and making changes. Forgiving yourself for your affair can actually help you lead a peaceful life. For all we know, life is about moving forward. You cannot get stagnated at one page of your life. There are many more beautiful pages yet to be filled which only begins when you forgive yourself. The stronger and more powerful you are, and the more you love yourself, the easier it becomes to forgive yourself. Listen to your heart and love yourself more for who you are and not for who you want to be. Forgiving yourself will get easier. Life gets more beautiful and peaceful when you learn to forgive yourself. The faster you forgive yourself the happier you can be. Stressing out and feeling guilty only triggers more and more problems in life. No solution comes from worrying or feeling guilty. Rather, it creates a lot of health issues instead. But life gets prettier when you let go of the negativity and start to forgive and forget.
The most important thing to be noted is, guilt is just a way of demeaning yourself, putting yourself in an emotional prison and not letting yourself have a happy life. Kindness is what it takes to forgive yourself, so tell yourself that all it takes is a small and simple act. Suffering and pain are not what you want in your life. It is a challenging task to forgive yourself for hurting your loved ones but it doesn't mean it cannot be accomplished. The truth is, the more you love your husband, the harder it is to forgive yourself, as it keeps bugging you that you have hurt the most important person in your life. It is to be noted that life is all about how you react to a situation that life throws at you. Your thoughts are the sole purpose of inflicting pain or happiness. So, be positive and always learn to forgive and don't be hard on yourself.
Always remember, "Actions speak louder than Words". So prove yourself that you are a redefined person to your husband, who knows he might be able to understand the new you and fall in love with you all over again. So, stay cool. All the very best!