7 Things to Remember When You See An Ex
There are times you would like to pretend and act like your ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend doesn't exist after a breakup. The truth is that he or she is still going on with his or her life even after the breakup and so should you. Trying to know what to do when you see an ex is never easy. Breaking all ties and communication after a breakup is important for both parties to heal. However, you never know when you'll see your ex-boyfriend or ex girlfriend again. A study has been done and it has been found out that people experience physical pain when they see their exes’ photos. This shows that it's very hard to see someone you were in love with and it can even physically hurt you. You can try to avoid bumping into your former partner but in most instances, it is unavoidable. There are things you can do to make yourself appear calm even if you are a total mess and you're freaking out on the inside. You need to know that you aren't the only one who feels this way after a breakup. Your ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend could also be nervous when he or she sees you. Here are things you can do to help you cope with seeing your ex in public after a breakup.
1. Be Respectful When You See Your Ex
You might yourself tempted to make your ex jealous by flirting with someone else when you meet with him or her in public. However, you need to know that a breakup is always hard for everyone. Your ex also hurts when he or she sees you and bumping into each other can be very hard for the person who was dumped. However, it is most awkward for the person who broke up the relationship since the person feels guilty that he or she did not do everything possible to make the relationship work. You need to know that flirting, making out, or going home with someone else in the presence of your ex is rude. You have to respect the relationship you once had and consider your ex’s feelings before you try to make him or her jealous. You never know, he or she can turn the tables on you and make you jealous as well.
2. Have a Plan
After a breakup, it is very easy to find yourself wondering how it is going to be the first time you see your ex. You wonder what you will say. Will he or she hug you? Will your ex say it was wrong to break up and want you back? These are just some of the things that will be going through your mind. You need to have a plan on how you are going to get through bumping into your ex. Stick to the plan and that way, when you see him or her you will not be caught unaware or you will not be too overwhelmed. The best thing you can do when making a plan is to ask yourself what is going to make you feel better about yourself after your run into each other. If you talk in a gibberish manner when you meet your ex, it might make you feel bad afterward. You need to be prepared to talk politely and ask general questions instead of personal ones. You might ask a personal question but you might not like the answer you get. Just keep it short and friendly. In the end, you will find yourself walking away with your self-respect still in place.
3. Keep the Conversation Short
You might be the type of person who talks a lot when you are nervous. You find yourself talking about things that have happened to you and some that are irrelevant. You need to know that when you talk too much, it will make things awkward. There could be a lot of stuff you want to tell your ex but you need to remember that you've broken up. Just keep the conversation short and sweet. Greet your ex, give a hint that you are okay, and make sure that the conversation ends on a good note. Chances are you already know if you want to get back with your former partner or not. If you do not intend to get back together, just act as if you have somewhere you need to be. The important thing is that you do not want to appear available or act as if you care too much. You might find that you could be exaggerating your actions. You need to have control over the conversation. Ensure that it is not personal. Leave before things change and become awkward. You need to remember that you have to avoid talking about the past. It will only bring up the anger and hurt you both felt during the breakup. You can even end up arguing and fighting in public, which is not good. If you both feel that you have unfinished business, make plans to meet and talk it out privately. Now, just talk about present situations and keep it light.
4. Consider Planning a Meeting
If you know that you and your ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend run in the same social circle and you are bound to meet, then plan a meeting beforehand. It is wise to meet him or her alone first if you ended things on a bad note. You need to meet up for coffee to clear the air and decide if you're going to be friends. It is important to take control of the situation and avoid any awkward scenarios. This helps especially if you work together and need to note which boundaries the both of you should not cross after a breakup. Remember that you should not have a meeting with your former partner if both your feelings are still raw. This will make both of you start bringing up what lead to the breakup and who was responsible. You both need to go to the meeting with a clear view of what you want to do to make things comfortable for both of you. Playing the blame game will only affect you both. Just be cordial with one another and try to find a solution that will help you both to co-exist.
5. Avoid Lies
When you run into your former partner, you might be tempted to tell him or her lies as a way of making him or her jealous. If you lie or exaggerate about your professional, personal, or romantic life, it will make you look weak and desperate. There is no need to try to impress your ex. You need to know that no one is going to get an award for doing better than the other person after a breakup. Be honest and real about what is happening in your life if he or she asks. Do not also lie to your ex that you are pregnant as a way of getting your boyfriend back. Just know that it will not work and you need to live your life. If your ex lies about his her life, do not do the same. Your ex could be doing it to make you jealous so that he or she feels good. Do not be drawn into his or her lies or you will find yourself living in the past instead of moving forward. Telling lies could have been the reason you broke up in the first place. Just be yourself and avoid lies.
6. Be the Bigger Person
When you run into your ex in public and he or she tries to pick a fight, do not descend to that level. Try to be the bigger person and keep the conversation as short as possible. If your ex is still angry, then politely ask him or her to meet with you some other place and time. When you run into your former partner and there is still hatred between the two of you, just be kind even if he or she is rude to you. When you are both angry and rude, neither of you is going to move on or be happy in life. You will both find yourselves in a shouting match that will end with hurtful words. Therefore, if you are in such a situation, just wave or say hello when you bump into your former partner. You will feel great in the end when you are the bigger person and he or she will feel ashamed for being rude. Avoid a situation where you will both walk away feeling hurt and never want to see each other again.
7. Avoid Overthinking
If you run into your ex, do not try to analyze everything he or she does. When your ex hugs you, it does not mean he, or she wants to get back together with you. When he or she compliments you it doesn't mean that you're still in love with one another, either. You need to know that bumping into an ex can affect you emotionally. Many emotions will go through you like being angry; missing the past, and at times you can feel horny. Just avoid fantasizing about that person. When you bump into a former partner, just leave it at that, and move on with your life. Just avoid talking about it with your friends and everyone you spend time with. You will just be bringing up the past feelings of your breakup and you will be hurt once again. You need to remember that your ex is in the past and that is how it should be. Nobody ever said it is going to be easy after a breakup. However, you need to pick up the pieces and move on with your life and everything will work out for you eventually. Just remember to be calm and composed when you meet your ex so that you do not put yourself in awkward situations.