How To Stop Being Jealous And Insecure In A Relationship

Do you remember when your boyfriend was constantly wooing you and vying for your attention? It was probably such a good feeling for you to know that out of all the pretty female friends you two have, it’s you who he chose. With every bouquet of flowers and box of chocolates he gave you, you were assured that he loves you. You see, this is the usual feeling we get when a romantic relationship is just starting to build up. But I'm pretty sure you are also aware of the negative emotions you will begin to experience while it progresses. As your relationship goes on, be aware that there will be times when you will feel a lot of insecurity and jealousy. It's actually pretty typical. You can’t expect that your boyfriend will focus his all attention on you all the time. However, normal as it is, insecurity and jealousy can become unhealthy if these feelings are constant. They can ruin a relationship if it always comes to the point where you nag your boyfriend for something that you just made it up in your head. Jealousy is not good for yourself either because it shows that you do not have much self-love. And if there's anything that a man loves in his woman, it’s being confident.

Don't worry! This insecure and jealous attitude can still be cured. However, it may be a little bit difficult at first. It’s understandable that emotions are hard to control, but with determination to keep your relationship healthy, it can be done. Here are some tips to help you stop being insecure and jealous in a relationship!

You have to understand that it’s okay and perfectly normal to get jealous from time to time. What’s making this natural feeling unhealthy is how you actually handle it. Some will disagree with this, but women love to play mind games in relationships. When we are dealing with an issue with our boyfriends, instead of outright saying what we feel, we let the men guess what’s really in our minds instead. We love to give them a not-so-amused-look and get mad when they don’t get the idea. Ladies, men are not born mind readers! Aside from that, they also hate these mind games. You’re not doing any good for your relationship by trying to mess with his head. If you are feeling jealous and insecure and you disagree with your boyfriend’s actions, instead of saying “oh yeah?”, why not just tell him how you exactly feel? By being straightforward, you are more likely to be taken seriously, and your man might try harder to make you feel loved.

“What you and your partner think is what matters most” is just one of the more cliché sayings about romantic relationships. Well, it’s not entirely wrong but it doesn’t work all the time. You should know that there are instances where only people outside the relationship can see what’s wrong. Try to look at your relationship from your friends’ perspective. Better yet, try to ask them what they think about it. You might be surprised to find out that what’s normal for you isn’t normal for your friends or other people around you. Other people’s opinions may sometimes help you figure out the root of all the issues you’re going through in your relationship.

There are lots of men and women all over the world; it’s unavoidable sometimes to admire the handsome and pretty ones. You have to admit, you’ve also done it. You’ve once stared at a man because he was just that good-looking. But you didn’t feel anything other than admiration for his good looks, right? You couldn’t say it was love. Well, your boyfriend can do that too. He can look at other women because they’re only good-looking. Whenever such things happen, you should stop feeling jealous. It’s useless to feel insecure every time because you don't control your boyfriend's actions. Just let him be. Yes, of course, you want him to look at you the whole time whenever you’re out on a date, but people can get distracted easily. Remember that it's just a quick glance and that he's dating you, not the pretty stranger. To give you a tip, think about the positive things in your relationship and how he loves you. Tell yourself, “She’s pretty, she’s eye-catching, but my boyfriend loves me, and that’s what matters.”

You are probably familiar with another cliché saying that goes, “When you feel something's wrong, trust your instincts because there really is something wrong.” There may be a lot of instances in people’s lives when these hunches proved to be right. However, instincts are still not completely hundred percent reliable and may even destroy your relationship if you're not careful. Just because you’re feeling jealous and insecure doesn’t mean something is actually going to happen. Maybe in your head, you see that your boyfriend is sleeping with another woman. However, that is not proof that he’s doing it in reality. You should stop being jealous about situations that your mind just invented due to insecurity. Unless you are successful in finding tangible proof, your hunches will just stay as a hunch.

Most of the time, women are just really overthinkers, hence why they often get insecure and jealous. But there are still cases where there is an actual reason for the jealousy and insecurity you’re feeling, and you have to figure those out. Did your boyfriend forget about a date you both planned a few days ago? Or perhaps, did he forget about your birthday? Or maybe he’s just not paying you that much attention lately. Whatever the reasons are, you have to identify them because they will help you in controlling your emotions. You may get jealous, but at least, it’s much easier to handle because you know the basis of it. However, if such things prove to be the reason for your jealousy, it’s best if you just talk about it with your boyfriend rather than building up negative emotions.

Most of the time, there is a deeper reason behind a woman’s insecurity and jealousy. One of the most common things are the past experiences they’ve gone through with their ex-boyfriends. Unfortunately and sadly, not all romantic relationships that we enter into will be guaranteed to last forever. When we give our heart to someone, we always risk ourselves getting hurt in the process, and people have different ways of coping with heartbreak. Some move on quickly, while others get scarred for life, which of course causes insecurity. It’s difficult to heal, especially if you were wounded badly in the past. This might be one of the most common pieces of advice, but stop controlling your present relationship by bringing up your past and your ex. People are different from each other and not all the people and friends you’ll meet in the future will hurt you. Heartbreak is just one of those things you have to accept is very common when you involve yourself in a relationship. Don’t let your past heartbreaks ruin the potential happiness that is meant for you in the present.

Are you the type of girlfriend who wants her boyfriend by her side all the time? Are you the type who informs him about almost everything you do? Because if you are, you have to know that being clingy is one of the causes of feelings of jealousy and insecurity because it leads to overthinking. I was an overly attached girlfriend; I still am a little bit. I always wanted my boyfriend to chat with me all day. And just a few minutes of him not replying to my messages made me overthink a lot — is he chatting with other girls? Is he really at home or is he out on a date? Do his friends influence him to cheat on me? That sort of thing. But as the relationship went on, I realized that it’s too tiring to be clingy all the time time. I figured out that asking him to give his full attention to me will be unsuccessful because he’s also a human being with responsibilities and has the right to get tired. So now, I am learning to spend time with myself too. The good part is that he's been the one who's so clingy for my attention lately. Being overly attached is kind of cute for men at the first few months of the relationship, but if it gets to the point where you start to invade their privacy, they’ll get annoyed which will cause you to think too much.

Ladies, you have to be aware that one of the most common causes of insecurity and jealousy is lack of self-love. Without it, you'll tend to think that your boyfriend will fall in love with another woman better than you because you believe you are not enough for him. By having this way of thinking, you’re not only crippling your relationship, but you’re not doing yourself any good either. Before you try to get your boyfriend to love you, you should love yourself first. You should believe that you are unique and worthy of other people’s attention and admiration. You have to accept every single flaw you have because these flaws, when left unexamined, can build up insecurity. Don’t let jealousy be the one controlling your relationship. Always remember that your partner chose you among all other females because he saw something in you that is lovable and admirable. Always let love be the center of the relationship with your boyfriend. Love your partner but don’t let it get to the point when you lose some for yourself. Stop trying to be someone you are not just so you can impress your partner because doing so will not make your relationship successful.