10 Steps To Help You End An Affair With A Married Man

Extramarital affairs were something you always judged, but you unconsciously found yourself in one. Here are 10 steps to help you in ending that affair.

By Vera Aries
10 Steps To Help You End An Affair With A Married Man

Affair With A Married Man

Can you identify a man of pretense adultery? If he is not happy in his marriage, he will be more likely to have an affair, right? According to an American study, 56 percent of men who had an affair said they were happy in their marriage. Most of the men, although they cheat on their wives, are still in love with them. Usually the men who cheat did not stop loving their wives, but they are only dissatisfied with the current situation. "Having an affair is most common in the stage when you start a life together when you decide to settle down, you have children and strengthen what you build together," claim psychologists. Women who have a relationship with a married man have always been the subject of gossip in the society. The situation for the majority is obvious - the mistress comes to ruin the marriage, at a time when a legitimate woman for many years sacrificed herself for the success of her husband. But there is also the other side of the story, which is worth considering. Extramarital affairs are not always just physical and intimate moments but can include emotional affairs too. Sometimes the emotional connection can present a bigger problem for the mistress, than the physical. Almost everyone in their life knows at least one person who is in the category of "mistress" because destiny has its unpredictable reversals. It does not matter if it is a physical or emotional affair, the position of the woman who got stuck in an affair with a married man is the same. Weekends in solitude, the inability to be loved every minute, inability of sharing the success, keeping it a secret - all this can lead the mistress to deep depression and frustration in life. And still, she stays in it. Some famous quotes of psychologists give an answer to the question: Why women choose to be in extramarital affairs. As they say: "Low esteem, the need for love, and the illusion of great love make women do crazy things." If you have some man in your life that is married, but gives you butterflies in your stomach, the best you can do is to avoid being in this kind of situation. Starting an emotional affair with a married man will only bring sadness in your life.

There are some tips for women who meet and fall in love with a married man. First - try not to let the relationship become much more serious than friendship. Do not fool yourself and start "harmless" flirting, which can bring great problems to your life. In this situation, there is no harmless flirting and every flirt can very easily become an emotional affair. Unfortunately, if you don't follow this advice, "the game" is often turned into a deep affection, from which it is very hard to escape. You need to be steel and turn off the married man from possible close partners. If the relations have not yet entered a serious phase, another tip - do not sneak deeper into the seriousness of such a link. Do not expect any promises from a married man. Most women, who were in the role of mistress, say that it is enough, say, for three months to determine the seriousness and intent of a man towards you. Most likely, a man has entered this relationship, not thinking that he will destroy his marriage for his mistress. Therefore, the deepening of the affair can only bring emotional pain. Break the relationship before it crosses the line of serious affection and an emotional affair. And finally, the third piece of advice for those who say "I can not imagine my life without this man." Most mistresses, unfortunately, only mistresses will remain - a different outcome is extremely rare. Have your own interests, stay as independent as possible - only in this case you will be able to go on with your life, after the break up. No one can forbid love, but in the role of a woman or mistress - choose yourself! Do everything you need to understand the position of a mistress before you engage yourself in such a relationship. Read some experiences on forums, some quotes, or even watch some movies with this themes to see the difficulties that are faced when it comes to extramarital affairs. But remember, life is not a movie, so a happy ending in the movies does not mean a happy ending for you. Ending affairs is one of the hardest things, even when every each party is familiar with the pros and cos in the affair. No matter how you got stuck in the extramarital affair, the best thing you can do is to end the relationship with the married man. Here we give you 10 steps to help you in ending the affair.

1. Ending The Affair By Defining The Reasons For The Break

Ending an affair is a long process. But instead of crying, listening to sad songs, and finding yourself in love quotes, we give you 10 steps for ending the affair with a married man. This is the first step that you should take when it comes to "ending affairs." Define the reasons for the break. This is also the easiest step. What more reason do you need when you have the fact that he is a married man? Ending an affair is easier when the problems that are related are repeated in the mistress' head, especially because those problems can not be solved. If you are aware that change is needed and you are still fighting the same problems without finding a solution, that link is not what you are looking for and what you want.

2. Be Prepare To Discuss The Problems

The next step you should take is to prepare yourself for discussing the problems. Of course, you can not end the affair without telling your man. After you define the reasons for ending the affair with a married man be prepared to discuss your reasons for interruption. Ending affairs is always a complicated task. Especially if the other party does not agree with the breakup. When you end the affair, you need to be prepared to discuss the existing issues (although they are obvious) that destroy the connection and you must be clear that you no longer want to try to rescue the connection or go through the same problems again. Just expose your decisions. Show determination in your last talk while ending the affair, so that he does not reassure you how everything will change. At the end of the day, you surely have already heard that promise.

3. Delete Him From Your Life

Ending an affair is emotionally difficult, but there are some things you need to obey even if you feel lost. After the break, the ex should not be called, you should not meet with him or appear in the places where you know he will be present. 'Delete' him from all social media so nobody can check on the other and to reduce the opportunities of contact. In one word - disappear. Every person after the break takes time to recover from interruptions and adapt to the new situation. It will be extremely difficult for you to break the connection even when you know it's the best for you and that it's in your interest. It's easy to get stuck in fake hopes. But if you're not happy about it, if your relationship does not fill and rejoice, it is time to face the truth that you have nothing to look for in a relationship with a married man and it is the time for ending it.

4. No Communication Is Allowed

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You must interrupt every kind of communication with him. Delete his number, block him from Facebook, in one word- just get rid of him. The proximity effects equally bad. If you accidentally work with him or your roads cross, it will be even harder. All you have to do is minimize that contact, abruptly interrupt all conversations. That's all it takes. Do not worry about his feelings, this is your healing time.

5. Get Rid Of Everything

You should get rid of anything that wakes memories in you about the affair. This will be a long and difficult path, but you can make it through this. The next thing you need to do is to get rid of everything that reminds you of him and the relationship you had with a married man. There is no justification for your acts and you cannot see it as something beautiful that happened to you, so you do not need anything in your life that comes from this relationship. You must be honest with yourself. You need to throw out all those gifts and little things that remind you of the past. Perhaps this will be a difficult undertaking, but you are making great strides.

6. Ending The Affair By Learning To Enjoy Yourself

Ending affairs with married men, although they only make women suffer and feel bad, is not an easy task. Psychologists say that it is precisely the lack of love that leads a woman into a relationship with a married man in which she is previously condemned to suffer. The position of a mistress will sooner or later endanger personal dignity and only a lack of love for yourself allows for something like that to happen. Read some quotes or listen to some music that will make you feel better about yourself. When you start to believe that you deserve love, it will happen to you. So the next step is to find a way to enjoy yourself and to feel good in your own skin, after ending the affair.

7. Realize That He Is Not The Only One In The World

Realize that he is not the only one in the world. There are many more interesting and loving people who may dream about a woman like you, and the best of all- who are single. Open your eyes! Observe the men you work with, who you meet near the place where you live, who come with your friends, but do not go to the extreme. Do not go out with anyone else just to cover up the sadness, but let somebody like you. Extramarital affairs are not something you want to have in your life, but a relationship with a person you love and who can return you all the love you give.

8. Do Not Think Of Him For 24 Hours

What is the most common situation in extramarital affairs? Those who cheat are always less available and with a full schedule, and the "mistresses" are the ones that are available, thinking of their love, and waiting for them to call. Married men are always in a better position than the mistresses. In the end, married men always have their wives, and the mistresses are usually the ones that suffer more in the affair. If you are ready to end the affair, try to take the next step. Do not think of him for 24 hours. Stop waiting for him continually and be ready for him at any time. Do not let him be your whole world. Find some hobby, start doing something that fills you, get rid of obsessive thinking about him. Dive into your career, swimming, reading - anything that will get you out of your addiction.

9. Ending The Affair By Finding His Faults

Is he perfect? Of course not, he is cheating on his wife. If you cannot find a fault in his behavior, here is one for you, and a good one! There are no ideal people, so he is not. Maybe he's immature, maybe he's not as smart as you think ... What did he achieve in his life? He condemns his wife to a bad marriage, and this way it is easier for him and for his cheating. Why does he not leave her? The question is whether he really likes you as he says. Because what exactly is he willing to do for you? How much does he care about your needs, feelings and the future? Well, is he really the one from the beginning of the story - strong and confident? These question will help you see the imperfect person he is and why you should soon be ending this affair.

10. Be Firm

When you choose to leave, do not respond to his calls and messages at all, do not look at his Facebook profile, do not ask a common acquaintance for him. Do not fall on his tears, while he is begging you for another opportunity. Of course, this is not fast or easy. Protect yourself as much as possible from everything that would slow down your healing and start a new life.

Final word

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It turns out that love is neither simple nor great as we have thought. Love songs and love quotes have told us a million times - Love is like a living being: love is born, grows, changes, appears when it is not expected, and at the end, it dies. Love has many different shapes. It is at the same time a reflection of your relationship to yourself and to the other being. It can be fatigued and tough, to initiate contradictory feelings and totally banish you. The question is why the feeling you are most worried about and always value also brings some degree of suffering. In all of this, the problem is when you are tied to people with whom love has been condemned to die. Say, for example, married men. The most common cause for a relationship with a married man lies in the woman's psychological profile and in her inability to truly evaluate and value oneself as a mature personality. Usually being a mistress in an extramarital affair happens to young people to whom it is most important to feel loved and who do not even think about perspective and future. Such girls have not yet experienced disappointments that are permanent relatives of parallel relationships. These women usually think of married men as self-confident, strong, and capable of solving all problems. He, as a rule, enjoys the infinitude and unlimited love of her, and she enjoys the abundance of genuine attention. Girls become dependent on these extramarital affairs and cannot interrupt them, which makes the married men very comfortable. Still, like some quotes have said: "No forbidden love is so tempting for no reason." and "It contains so many illusions and idealism that it is truly irresistible. That's why it is dangerous." This is a great illustration of what happens in your head when you are in a physical or emotional affair with someone who is married. Although ending affairs is not an easy step, it is the best you can do for yourself. With some firm attitude, determination, and following the 10 steps given above, you can make it and end the affair as soon as possible.