15 Dos and Don’ts When You See Your Ex in Public
It is never easy seeing your ex- boyfriend or girlfriend in public. Unless you are already over the breakup or you are hoping to get back together you will never be okay seeing your ex out in public with a new girlfriend or boyfriend. It can be painful and awkward, especially when you do not know how to act when you come face to face with your ex. Being single and seeing your ex in public does not have to be a painful experience. If you know how to handle it, it can make you stronger and help you move on from the breakup. There are good and bad ways to treat an ex when you meet in public. Most of the time you will find yourself leaning towards the bad ways if you are not careful and it can cause a scene in public. Here are some tips that will help you know what to do and what not to do when you meet your ex-girlfriend or boyfriend in public.
1. Stay Calm
One of the best things for you to do when you see your ex-boyfriend or girlfriend in public is to stay calm. Do not lash out or make a scene. Do not show him or her that the breakup still hurts you. Do not show how much you miss him or her. You never know, he or she could also be hurting and just doing a good job of hiding it. You need to appear calm, strong, independent, and not so angry that you cannot be able to control yourself in public. Acting like a gentleman or lady in such a situation can be hard but you will have maintained your reputation.
2. Be Confident
There are times when being calm is not enough. You also need to be confident when you see your ex in public. You are definitely going to experience many emotions when you see him or her. You might even get confused and not know what to say or how to act. Confidence will help you to face your ex after a breakup. It helps you not to appear scared or closed off in front of your ex. Confidence will boost your character and make you an approachable person. It will help you with many life situations like seeing your ex in public.
3. Make It Short
It is okay to have a conversation with your ex when you meet in public. However, you need to keep it short and simple even if you ended the relationship on a good note. Do not make the conversation too long. Do not talk about something that he or she posted on Facebook. Do not talk about his or her family either. It could lead to bottled up feelings coming up and you do not want to make a scene in public. Just exchange a few words after the greetings and make sure it does not go beyond that. Make up an excuse to get out of there like you are busy or something. Just smile, walk away, and do not look back. The meeting should be a small encounter and not the highlight of the day.
4. Be Polite
This can be hard, especially if he or she was responsible for the breakup and you are still mad and hurt. If you see your ex from afar and he or she has not seen you, you do not have to call for his or her attention. However, if he or she sees you, just smile, wave and go on with your business. You can still appear independent and content. There is no need for you to be rude. If you come face to face with him or her and you are with someone, be polite, and introduce him or her to whom you are with. Just treat him or her like you would treat anyone else you meet in public. If your ex hurt you and you are polite to him or her when you meet, he or she will feel ashamed. In the end, you will be the mature person and come out at the top.
5. Be Casual
When you meet your ex in public, you are bound to get a small heart attack episode. Once you get over the episode, try to pull yourself together. Put the panic in an imaginary box and throw it away. The best way to make your meeting a lot less awkward is for you to appear casual. Even if the inner you wants to scream until you pass out, just fake how you feel until you make it. When you learn to mask your emotions and appear casual, meeting him or her in public will no longer be a big deal. You will start treating it like any other meeting with a friend.
6. Avoid The Past
When you meet him or her, old memories and unfinished businesses are bound to come up. You need to remember that there is a reason why past boyfriends or girlfriends are called exes. Avoid talking to him or her about the past relationship and feelings. Bringing up the past will just leave you both with bitter and negative feelings. There is nothing worse like ending a relationship on a bad note. You need to know that what is done is done. All you can do is to respect the relationship you had and remember the good times you had. Therefore, just talk about the current events or about something you both saw posted on social media like Facebook. If you have nothing to talk about, then greet each other and go about your business.
7. Avoid Your Ex If Necessary
It is understandable if it is too early to see your ex in public especially if you recently broke up. Remember that your heart is not made of steel and you need time to heal and move on. Therefore, when you see him or her and you feel like you are not ready to have an encounter with the person, just avoid him or her. Do not push yourself if you feel like you are not ready. It does not mean that you are weak and cowardly. It just means that you are clever enough to respect what you feel and take the time you need. Remember that he or she could also be hurting and may not be ready to see you.
8. Act like An Adult
However much it hurts and your heart feels fragile and weak, do not act like a child when you see your ex in public. It can be easy to do this if you have moved on and hard if you still hurt from the breakup. Just act like an adult and be relaxed, calm, and polite. When you act like this, he or she will see that you are responsible, mature and not the crazy ex he or she would have been ashamed to say he or she dated.
9. Do Not Cry When You See Your Ex In Public
However bad you want to cry when you see your ex, do not do it. Crying will not get you anywhere. It will just create a scene that neither you nor your ex wants at the moment. Crying will make things awkward and difficult. You will feel ashamed later on when you think about it. Just think about something that will make you smile when you meet your ex. You can even make sure that your encounter does not take a long time by keeping the conversation short.
10. Do Not Show Hurt
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Do not act hurt when you are in front of your ex. Even if you miss him or her, do not show it. If you feel like your relationship did not end on a good note or you have some unfinished business, ask your ex to meet with you privately. That way, you can both express your feelings in private without an eager audience. Never wear your emotions on your sleeve in public or show how upset you are. It will only make you appear desperate and unattractive. This is never a good look for you since you will one day want to get into another relationship and your future boyfriend or girlfriend might be in the audience.
11. Do Not Get Your Ex’s Attention
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If you are the one who ended the relationship, it might be hard for you to prevent yourself from getting your ex’s attention. After all, you are a human being and you might still have feelings for him or her. However, do not try to make the person jealous by posting certain photos on Facebook or trying to let him or her know how you are doing much better without him or her in your life. This will only make you appear desperate. The best thing you can do is to appear casual and polite. This will make the person know that he or she did not break you with the breakup. Your friendly attitude will make your ex know that he or she has lost the best thing he or she could ever have and that great things are coming your way.
12. Bring Your Friends
When you see your ex in public, it is bound to be mentally stressful which is why you need to have the support of your friends. If you know you are going to see your ex when you go out, bring your friends along to boost your confidence and make you feel comfortable. Friends will help to cheer you up and make the situation less awkward. Therefore, do not be afraid to ask your friends for help in such a situation. They are the ones who understand best and know how to go about the situation.
13. Do Not Show Off
If you have a new job or you are dating someone new, do not flaunt this to your ex. It is okay if the topic comes up naturally like your ex saw it on Facebook. Showing off to your ex will not give you good attention or make them respected you. Just remember that you are good enough the way you are. There is no need for you to show off what you have. Just let it speak for itself. If it happens to come up in the conversation just go with the flow and your ex will respect you for not rubbing it in his or her face.
14. It Is Okay To Feel Sad
It is sometimes okay to feel sad when you see your ex in public. If the relationship was a huge part of your life and it just ended, it is healthy to feel sad instead of bottling up your feelings. A few days of sadness is okay and it is nothing compared to a whole future of happiness ahead of you.
15. Fill Your Ex In
When you see your ex in public, be sure to fill him or her in if the breakup was a long time ago. If he or she asks how you are, let him or her know but do not overdo it. You do not want to show how good your life looks without him or her in your life. This might make you look like you are trying to prove a point. Just fill in your ex on what is necessary, let him or her know that you have moved on and you have a positive attitude towards the breakup. Seeing your ex in public after a breakup can be a real test your character. Prove your worth and sophistication by handling the situation like a professional without letting your emotions get the better of you.