10 Reasons You're Scared Of Love And How To Change That

Love is a blessing, if you find it, take it. For some people Love is a scary word and it’s usually because of their past experience or because this word isn’t supported by their surrounding pretty well. Our fears for love many manifests in different ways or show up at a different stage of a relationship, but we all harbor defense to protect ourselves from getting hurt. If you are afraid of love too, you are not suffering from a phobia, you are just protecting yourself from going through the pain again. Love can be a big deal for some of us. If you are afraid of love, you need to hear this. The tower that you build up for yourself is not always protecting you. Sometimes, it is keeping you from the people you desire the most or the love that can change your life. It can actually keep you from the love you want the most but are too afraid to reach out for. Believe it or not, it is such people who need love the most because once they have love, they don’t take it for granted.

We all have our own reasons for staying away from love but usually, here are 10 common reasons that explain why you don’t want to fall for someone:

If you are scared of love, it means you have fears of the unknown. It is true, falling in love is a big risk because you have to put a great amount of trust in the other person which means you are allowing them to affect you. This may make you feel vulnerable. You might have to give up some habits that you have long adapted to protect yourself. The more you care, the more you will hurt. For some people, opening themselves up completely to a new person means they have to be vulnerable and they don’t want to do that. Yes, it can be scary when you have never loved before but this is true too that the right people will never hurt you.

Some people stay away from love because of the hurt the previous relationships brought them. This isn’t just the hurt form a former partner but something bitter that happened in their childhood. All of what happened in your past can have a strong influence on how you act in a romantic relationship. Hence why you may steer away from love and intimacy, to begin with.

Everyone is afraid to fall and get hurt. But it doesn’t always have to be bad when someone loves you. If we all were scared of getting hurt by the hands of the people we love, we would be a bit gentle on one another, wouldn’t we? Give it a chance and you will realize love is worth the heartbreak (sometimes).

You may hesitate involving with someone because they like you too much. You feel if you involve with such a person, you may not love them as much as they love you and you can end up getting hurt or feel rejected. It can be the opposite scenario too. Some people are scared of love only because they think the other person doesn’t feel the same about them. To be honest, love is a little imbalanced. Our feelings for the people we love, keep on changing. One moment you may be angry at them and the other, you may be deeply in love with them. The best way to overcome this is to be open about how you feel. Who knows the love that you are too scared to accept can change your life.

Yes, when you fall for someone, it changes your relationship with the people close to you. No matter how much you say love won’t change you, it always does. Being in a relationship with someone you love can be quite time-consuming and because of that, you may not be able to give the time to your friends or family like before. Some people stay away from love because of the exact same reason. They don’t want to leave their friends and family behind. But things don’t have to be that way if your partner understands that you love and value other people besides them too.

Some people love their personal space so much that they start having love phobia. It is great to come home from a long day at work and get into your bed without giving a care in the world about anyone. But is it keeping you from falling in love? Is it making you feel that you won’t have any alone time anymore? If this is what you are feeling right now, you need to chill out. You shouldn’t be thinking so far ahead. Don’t let these thoughts keep you from something great. Go out, give love a try.

Who says love is going to a bed of roses. There are some people who whenever experience something truly joyful on an emotional level, they start feeling sad too. Such people shy away from love and the things that make them happy because these are the things that can also make us feel sad. Remember, just as roses have thorns, with love, there is some pain too.

It may be that trusting others is hard for you and it always comes in the way of love. Such people only trust a few close ones like friends or family. When they meet someone new, the love phobia hits them. They think this person will screw them over somehow and they don’t want to fall into the same love trap again. But think about it, how can you tell someone isn’t worthy of your trust if you don’t even give them a chance to love you?

Have you seen couples who were once in love but now they just can’t stand each other? Does that make you feel love isn’t a real thing because it fades away with time? Well, nobody wants to end up miserable but if you don’t really give love a chance, how do you even know you will be like other miserable couples? You are going to fight, because everybody fights. Again, just because you see bad relationships around you, it doesn’t mean your love will end up like this too. Say you have witnessed couples in your family or friend circle who aren’t happy with their relationship. Instead of running away from love, why not learn from their experience and avoid the mistakes they made in their relationship? Don’t let the love phobia keep you from even trying to love someone. Love is the best feeling ever, you know.

Some people are scared of love because they worry about the future too much. Such people have an uncontrollable tendency of thinking about their past and future. They can’t help but make the situation worst by thinking too much about what will happen and what won’t and hence they say they don’t want love. Visualizing the future isn’t a bad thing but over thinking can kill the joy of the moment.

Now that you have read the reasons why you must be staying away from love, the hot question is how to not let this love phobia get you? How to trust someone, how to confront your fears and love again? Here are some tips:

You can’t really fix anything if you don’t even know what’s wrong. So, the first thing you must do is find the answer to why you are scared of love. For instance, some people have independent personalities and they are like that because they were the only person they could rely on. They had taught themselves to be self-reliant and hence they don’t open up to anyone or are ready for love. They are scared of being vulnerable. Independent people prevent themselves from intimacy without even realizing it. To give love another chance, they need to become more conscious of the needs of their partner and value mutual understanding. If you want to be intimate, you need to be vulnerable. You must learn to put your armor down for the right people and accept their love.

Some people don’t want to sound needy and hence they don’t express themselves much. Well, in love and relationship, you have to be expressive. As much as you are scared how things will turn out to be, you need to be honest with yourself. You can either talk about your feelings with the one you love or write them in a journal. If you are really struggling with your thoughts, then seeing a counselor is recommended. Don’t let your fears about love keep you away from a great person and wreck your relationship.

When you are in love, it is natural to have fears but that doesn’t mean you don’t even communicate with your partner. The next thing you need to work on is open communication. If you fear that your partner may abandon you, won’t love you like you love them or you don’t want to leave your family behind etc. then let them know. Maybe you can figure out a way to deal with such issues. To be honest, if the one you love is understanding and trustworthy, communicating with them will automatically become easy.

Read these sayings, they might inspire you to give love another chance: ‘This is the only happiness in life; to love and be loved.’ ‘A flower cannot blossom without sunshine and a man cannot live without love.’ You can find more beautiful sayings above love and take one step at a time to accept change in your life.

It is important that you take ownership of your unhealthy patterns that prevent you from love and intimacy. You need to embrace the idea that you don’t really have to go through the ups and downs of life alone, you need love too. If you just let go of the fear and believe that you are worthy of love, you will be giving yourself the best gift ever. Once you do that, you won’t need any love sayings to appreciate what you have.