Gender equality or who should text first
Ah, women... And their eternal dilemma, who should make the first move. Since modern ways of communication have become more available for us, this question arises at the beginning of any communication with the person we like. Especially women are considering this theme. Who and why should text first? Most women will wait for men to take the initiative. But what if a girl wants to take thing into her hands? Let's consider little better pros and cons why you should or shouldn't do this.
Why you want to text him first
Ok, you realized that you really, really like this guy. You're probably often lying in bed and staring at the screen of a mobile phone, thinking what to do now.To be or not to be, text him or not text him. One way or another, maybe you'll repent, but you'll never know if you do not take a shot. What can you loose? Dignity? Pride? We are not in Middle age anymore, time changed and gender equality is something that represents our time. There's almost no difference between men and women, or their behavior. Today girls approach boys just like that. Without hesitation. So why wouldn't they text him first? We can consider this in two ways:
Text him first if you know he likes you
First and foremost, make yourself wonder - what do you want to accomplish with this? If you know that he likes you, what are you expecting to happen after you text him first? Let's face it, if he really likes you, he'll text you first. Guys like to be in charge and they will throw you a hint. And then, depending on their character, whether they're shy or not, they'll wait for next step, which should be taken by you. That's the easiest way. He started a conversation, now it's up to you to play his game. But what if he didn't text you first? That means he's extra shy and you should make the first move, right? Be brave and post him something. Text message, Facebook message, Viber, WhatsUp... It's easy. You don't see each other. And that's kind a relief. Either way, if you wait, and he waits, it's a dead-end.
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1. There's no personal contact
Well, if you're both shy, this is a good thing. You don't have to look him in the eyes and there will be no unpleasant silence or hidden looks. In this way, you can be more open when it comes to your feelings. You do not see the reaction of the other side and, therefore, it's easier to find the right words to text him.
2. Don't hide beyond smiley
Sometimes, when we want to hide our true feelings, we over-use smilies. Those cute little things are perfect when you're out of words. But not always. If your texting is based on competing who will send the craziest smiley, you will achieve nothing. You're just acting like kids. If he sends you this kind of messages all the time, well, you better ignore him, although you start the conversation first. This is a sure sign of immaturity. Or even worst, if you text him first and then continue a conversation with a bunch of smileys, he'll find you silly and will take you for granted. So use words, not smilies.
3. Don't send him shortcuts
Nowadays, we become super-lazy when it comes to a communication. People invented shortcuts for most commonly used phrases and basically, they shrank our communication in just a few words or letters. OK, LOL, LMAO, or simply YEAH or NAH. Hold on for a second. Think about it. If you finally decide to text him first and his first reaction is something like previously written, then he really wasn't worth a shot. Give him a chance in next couple of messages. If he continues this way, then give up on him. He just didn't understand what kind of a sacrifice you just took by texting him first and he doesn't appreciate that. Your effort didn't pay off. So, move on.
4. Don't bother him with your feelings
Unless you want him to think about you as a psychopath, do not do this. DO NOT! Whether it's a guy you know for a while or you just met (the worst option is if you have not met him yet), don't overreact. At the beginning of your conversation, don't be obsessive. You can let him know that you like it in a more subtle way. If he feels the same way, he will read you between the lines.
5. Don't be aggressive
Let's make this clear - guys like when girls make the first move and show some initiative. But when you act like a commander to him and you want it all right here, right now, that behavior might scare him. If one of your first texts to him was ''When will we see/meet/get to know better?', that sound bossy. If you want him to respond, be more subtle and make him want to text you back.
6. Jealousy? The biggest NO
He ignored your text. So? That does not mean that the end is near. Guys are simple - if he doesn't have a need to interact with you, he will show you that. No text back. Today, next few days, ever more. If it happens, remember you do not have a need for interaction with him too! Don't text him like a million times ''What don't you answer me?'' or similar. Then you sure won't get a text back. Maybe he really forgot to text you(reason - he's probably not into you), maybe he was busy and he apologizes for that(a good sign, he wants to continue your communication) or maybe he just ignored your text cause he wants you to stop texting him(simple as that). Whatever the reason is, don't express jealousy. Either way, you'll look really pathetic.
7. Get his attention
If you want to stand out from other potential girls he texts, you have to be original. The first message simply needs to ''force'' him to text back. Show him that he has your attention. Do not exaggerate with humor, but be interesting. Don't scare him with a bunch of information. Do not reveal too much. Also, do not question him too much. If he's interested, he will do that. And don't be shy. You take the first step, why stop now? Ask him for an opinion about something. That will make him feels important and he surely will text you back.
Text him first if you're not sure what he feels for you
If you want to find out if he likes you by texting him first, you sure have guts. Simple as that, some girls just don't like to play hot and cold. So they take in charge and start to act like boys. The girl who wants to know if feelings are mutual will text first, no matter what. And she's not afraid of the answer or not texting back.
If you texted him first, pay attention to this. When you're not sure about his feelings for you, the timing of his texting can tell you a lot. You know he's not too busy and he still takes time to text back. And when he does, it's short and uninterested. Skip. Next, please. But, if he answers you in no time, in just a few minutes, that's clear sign he's interested in you. In which way, you need to figure it out later. Maybe he's just bored, so he spends time texting you, but when he finds another interest, he'll stop texting. Either way, if he texts you quite often and for no reason, he's on fire indeed. You got him.
9. How he calls you
Many women will overlook this sign, but he is important to you. Pay special attention to how he calls you after you first text him. It can tell you many things, whether and how much he's interested in you, and in what manner. If he calls your ''honey'', ''sweetie'' or use that cute nicknames, maybe your relationship will have potential (alert - if he uses this too much, maybe he just wants to be a friend with you). But if he uses expressions such as a ''doll'', ''babe'' or something nastier, he obviously does not want anything with you or he just wants sex. As we said before, men are way too simple.
10. Does he make a fun of you
Boys can interpret your text in various ways. Especially if you text them first. Depending on how they understand your message, they may think of you like you are desperate, or you need something. A minority of them will think, ''wow, this girl has some guts, maybe she likes me''. A guy who is aware of your ''brave'' move(still, texting him first is a huge step), will not mock you. A boy who is not interested in you will constantly make fun of that and try to humiliate you somehow. Well, he's not a keeper, isn't he? You just skip this guy and give a chance to someone who will appreciate that you text first.
11. Which way your conversation is going
So, you made the first move and now it's up to him to accept or decline your offer for further conversation. If your first text sounds indefinite, like "what's up" or something like that(we really hope you were a bit more creative), after that texting can be reached in several directions. If you notice him answering you too general and short and he doesn't ask you back, that is a clear sign that he is not interested. If his texts have a sexual connotation and sound kind of perverse, even on the ordinary question like ''what are you up to?'', he is interested in just one thing. But if he prolonged your conversation and always ask you something, he likes you back. It's up to you to take this on next level.
12. What is his next move
Shy guys will accept your texting and you can go like that on, and on. Here, you need to take the initiative and ask him out. Why not? If he ignores your offer, well, let's pretend this just didn't happen. Forget about him and move on. But a guy who wants something serious with you will be much more direct. Either he will call you on a date or he will accept your call. Simple as that. This does not even have to be a date. Invite him to some game or for a walk, this can be interpreted as a friendly gesture if you are still not sure how he feels about you. Maybe after this, some things will be clearer.
So, should you text him first?
Well, after you read our advice and consider pros and cons, we can only say - go for it, text him first. Who dares, wins. At least, you tried and didn't waste your time. The ''right one'' is out there, you just have to find him or let him find you.