Top 10 Reasons People Can't Leave Their Abusive Relationship

When your relationship gets abusive, leaving automatically becomes the most logical option. But despite that, a lot of people still find it hard to leave. Here's why some find it so hard to say good-bye to the one who's hurting them.

By Auntrone89
Top 10 Reasons People Can't Leave Their Abusive Relationship

Leaving an abusive relationship

Sometimes it might be difficult to leave an abusive relationship and this can be be for any number of reasons. One of these reasons might be the fact that the two of you have shared a life together for so long or that you're holding on for the sake of the your children. Either way, it’s important to learn how to break away from a toxic relationship but if you're going to leave, it's best to do it before it's too late. Abusive relationships are the worst because the abuse never stops and this means that the more you stay put in an abusive relationship, the more likely you are to get hurt. Therefore, it's important to start making plans to leave the moment you realize you are in an abusive relationship. Leaving safely should always be your number one priority, therefore, don’t hesitate to involve the police whenever things escalate and find a lawyer to start working on your divorce papers ASAP. If you aren’t in a legal relationship, it’s even better because nothing will hold you back from leaving. Worrying about the time and money you’ve invested in the abusive relationship will only hold you back. Again, let your lawyer deal with the divorce nonsense as you work towards rebuilding your life minus an abusive lover. Without further ado, here are the reasons you might find yourself stuck in an abusive relationship.

1. Leaving abusive relationships is harder when you have children.

Even though the signs that your relationship is abusive are crystal clear, you might decide to hold on for the sake of your children. Maybe you don’t want your children to grow up in an incomplete family or maybe you don’t have a way to provide for them on your own. You opt to stay put in an abusive relationship instead of leaving. If this is the case, then it’s time for you to seek immediate help because staying in an abusive relationship instead of leaving is a good idea. This is because the outcome is always devastating. I am sure you have trusted friends and family that you can call upon during your time of need. Once you have opened up to them about your situation, they’ll have plenty of advice and help for you and this is how you’ll find the strength to leave. In time, find yourself in a much better place. Once you’re sure of a soft place to land, then leaving your abusive relationship will be easier than uttering “bless you” after a sneeze. Leave him or her without a moment’s hesitation.

2. One can't leave while sharing their business

Adjusting to normal life after leaving an abusive relationship is an uphill struggle. This is usually the case especially when divorce cases are nasty - as most of them are. Therefore, it is important for you to get yourself a good lawyers and let them find you the justice you deserve. Thankfully, the only way you can go after leaving an abusive relationship is up. If you have children, then find a way you can co-exist or co-parent – or something of that sort. You can also agree on becoming business partners with one of you being silent. Let your lawyers handle the matter safely as you keep a healthy distance from the fracas. With the right lawyers on your side, you’ll often end up getting more money while spending less in the process. Therefore, when you want to leave an abusive relationship, the first thing you ought to do is look for good lawyers but be sure to get multiple quotes. Again, ignoring the signs that point to your relationship being abusive will only put your life at risk. Therefore, finding a good lawyer and doing so as soon as possible is always the best idea.

3. Fear makes leaving an abusive relationship tough

Yes, fear can take a myriad of forms, one of them being the fear of the unknown. This is when you aren’t quite sure about your life after leaving an abusive relationship. You might also fear that your leaving will spell doom to your love life and hence you choose to hold on. If this happens to be the case, then you’ll just have to take the risk and take the plunge. Remember, the unknown is what makes life worth living. So why not experience it? besides, more often than not, people who leave abusive relationships often end up happier. Obviously, life will be a little difficult and uncertain the moment you walk out of the abusive relationship but in due course, you’ll end up a tad happier and it all starts with your decision to leave. Have faith in your sixth sense and follow it to the very end because it always has your best interests at heart. Therefore, if you ever find yourself in such a situation, remember to always take a deep breath, and relax before taking a plunge into the unknown. Before you get to this point however, you’ll have to dig deep and find the strength to walk out of the abusive relationship. Also, drawing your strength and trusting in God will always be a good idea for you. Involving close friends and family is always encouraged because, at this point, you’ll need all the support you can get.

4. Judgment

Apart from the fear of the unknown after leaving an abusive relationship, most people fear being judged the moment they take their leave. Insignificant as judgment may seem, it is the reason why a ton of people constantly shy away from addressing their problems head-on. And for that very reason, a person will opt to stay in an abusive relationship just because he or she doesn’t want to be the talk of the town. But guess what? People will always have something bad to say about you, whether you do good or bad. At the end of the day, the gossip grind mill has to be fed, whether the food comes in the form of the truth or fabricated lies. And for that very reason, you should never allow yourself to suffer just because you don’t want people to talk about you. Once you detect the early signs of imminent hostility in your relationship, leave and ask questions later. Even if things may not seem abusive at the time, they will in the near future. Leave as safely as you can and let the gossipers choke on their fabricated quotes about your life. You can always start over, make more money and pretty much build a happy, successful life without them or their cheap talk. Finally, you aren’t the only person who fears judgment. You can always learn how to accept facts for what they are and choose what’s best for you. Learning how to do this might take time but in the end, it will be all worth it since all good things take their sweet time in coming.

5. One can't leave an abusive relationship if threatened

An abusive relationship is often characterized by a lot of baseless fights, bad-mouthing, and threats. And for this very reason, leaving might be a tad difficult because you fear your aggressive partner might make good on his threats. Thankfully, there is the police department, family, and friends who can come to your rescue. All you need to do at this point is to become vocal about your predicament and your wish will most certainly be granted. As hard as leaving may seem, staying in an abusive relationship will only hurt you. This is why the moment you choose to leave an abusive relationship will always be the most important decision in your life. Just up and leave, even if you feel uncomfortable and terribly scared at the moment. Leaving is the only way for you to wake up from the nightmare you are living in at the moment. Feel free to join a counseling group and talk about your problems but only after being brave enough to leave. In some cases, you’ll be required to collect some evidence of abuse in your relationship. If that’s the case, then don’t worry because there is a plethora of ways you can go about it. You can either record an audio or video just to mention a few. You can then use the evidence to source a restraining order as your divorce is being processed.

6. You don’t know you are in an abusive relationship

Thanks to the countless movies, television series and romantic novels, most people have ended up tolerating abuse in relationships. This is because everyone is programmed to accept that fighting and drama is part of every normal relationship. But that’s where were all dead wrong. To make matters worse, these people can safely recite countless quotes from social media or their favorite television series that justifies abuse. This is why they keep holding on to abusive relationships hoping that one day, things will get better. In this case, denial will deter them from accepting the fact that the relationship is abusive. So, how can one get out from such a dicey situation? It’s simple. First and foremost, he or she will be required to go back to the drawing board. From there, he or she will then analyze their spouses’ behaviors without any prejudice. Hard as it may seem, that’s the only way one can realize that they indeed are in an abusive relationship. Once one does that, it will become clear that the only logical option will be to leave. The pain of leaving an abusive relationship can equate to axing your arm off. But if the arm was rotting away, then axing it would be the best option. Remember to involve the police whenever the need arises. Thankfully, the signs that show you are in an extremely abusive relationship are easy to spot. Once the signs become clear, take your leave and do so by any means necessary. Even if it means you're leaving money and other luxuries behind, do it. One of my all-time self-quotes is, “You can always make money, as long as you are not dead!”

7. Greed

Believe it or not, a good number of people stick to abusive relationships because of their untamed greed. In such cases, most of these abusive “better halves” are rich, famous or powerful – in every sense of the word. And because of that, they might want to stick to the abusive relationships instead leaving will mean surrendering all their luxuries. That’s why they can’t leave even if their dignity is on the line. Unfortunately, such “fairy tale stories” never end with the frog turning into a handsome prince when the proverbial princess kisses the abusive frog. An abusive frog will always remain an abusive frog no matter how many times you kiss it. And that’s why all abusive relationships need to be abandoned like the sinking ships they all are. With that being said, leaving an abusive relationship is always the best option. As a matter of fact, leaving should be the only option at the table. As earlier said, leaving is easier said than done. But always be keen to remind yourself that if other people were strong enough to do it, so can you!

8. Love is blind (in every sense of the word)

We express, we fight, I can't do anything to make it right. . We let go, we begin again, Only to build up a war, we drain. . Strong words, powerful statements, After this, we have no attachment. . Argue till our phones turn warm, our fingers burn, This is a blame game, we take turns. . We used to complete each other, Now we break hearts, ruin the other. . We're drifting, growing miles apart, This time we're not coming back, I know this part. . People don't change, it's the bond, It's fate, I guess we weren't that strong. . This is no how we wanted it to end, this is not how it was supposed to, We can do better than this, let's share the truth, between the two. . We lost chances, we made mistakes, Why don't you tell me, my heart still aches. . . Sleepless nights now it's coming onto us, Time to end it, like a demon it's crawling right across us. . Anger turning into frustration, frustration into cries, Maybe it's a warning, to cut off our ties? . ~forgottenmagic. . . . . . . . #writers #poetsofinstagram #writersofinstagram #poets #writerscommunity #reading #reader #bookstagram #book #instagrampoetry #poetry #love #loveislove #heartbreak #friendship #truefriends #wordporn #bookworm #reading #girl #women #cute #couplegoals #sadcouple #sunshine #life #poemsporn #poemsporn_ #sassy #fight #argument

A post shared by Forgottenmagic™ (@forgottenmagic.__) on

Owing to my countless experiences, I can safely and confidently conclude that love is indeed blind. It is possible to love someone so much to the point that you don't realize that he or she is being abusive. Unfortunately, this happens to be the case in most abusive relationships. In this case, learning how to stand up for yourself is exactly what you need to do because if you don’t stand up for yourself, no one else will. Once again, I perfectly understand how hard it is to stand against someone you love. But then again, someone who truly loves you will not abuse you in any way. Be willing to hurt yourself by leaving since that’s the only way you can heal and start over. Life is all about tough choices and unfortunately, no one is exempt from it. You can start by focusing on the benefits of leaving an abusive partner. That way, you won’t give up in the process. Feel free to always turn to motivational quotes in the event that your inner strength fails you because it will. I can’t lie to you that this will be easy. It is also very important to take note of the signs of weakness and work on them. In the end, no amount of money or low self-esteem should bar you from leaving an abusive relationship. Last but not least, believe in your badass-self and watch as everything falls into place.

9. Poor self-esteem

Parece que o tempo parou desde que você se foi. Dentro de mim, um vázio, que, só pode ser prenchido por você. A dor da falta que você me faz é quase insuportável... Os dias parecem iguais e cinza. Sem vida. Tudo parado e igual. Parece que não tem fim. A esperança você levou quando partiu e deixou aqui, só meu coração em pedaços.... Minha metade, minha alma gêmea, minha quimica perfeita, minha alegria. Você era muito mais que um momento. Você foi a minha felicidade. A saudade é um lembrete constante do quão inesquecível você é. Meu vicio. Não consigo parar de te amar. Hoje você é uma memoria. Uma ilusão. Foi tudo que você deixou. Bagunça e abstinência. Alegria se foi. Meu coração se foi. A única coisa que você esqueceu aqui, foi eu! 😟 te amo pra sempre e como te disse uma vez(lembra?): ... O pra sempre é pouco ( ou melhor, a eternidade é pouco). Amor da minha vida. Esse desenho representa exatamente o q fomos( pelo menos pra mim), imagem melhor nao teria. Que algum dia Deus me devolva você pra que eu possa voltar a viver; #sadness #cry #couple #sadcouple #sad #crying #endrelationship #relationshipproblems #E💞

A post shared by Mirian Com N (@bymimia) on

Having low self-esteem can also contribute to the difficulty in leaving abusive relationships. And what makes it difficult for a person with low self-esteem to leave an abusive relationship is that they have no clue about their self-esteem. The thing about having low self-esteem issues is that it’s pretty easy for others to detect. Therefore, don’t hesitate to ask your close friends to analyze you and give you an honest opinion. Chances are that you won’t like what you end up hearing. But you’re better off frustrated with what the truth than living with a fabricated, flat out lie.

10. Good makeup sex

One commonality with abusive relationships is that the victims always look forward to makeup sex which often comes after every nasty encounter. And it is for this reason that they find it hard to leave when they are supposed to. But as we all know, these so-called “calm after the storm” moments don’t usually last. Therefore, exiting the relationship as safely as possible should be your number one goal. There are more than enough quotes that show just how dangerous staying in an abusive relationship is. And for that simple fact, you will be required to jump ship as soon as you can. Don’t worry about the discomfort or the loss of money because your life is far much more important than either of them. In short, never have an excuse to keep you entangled in an abusive relationship.


The moment you suspect that you are in an abusive relationship, always make a point of looking out for the tell tale signs. And as soon as you have confirmed your fears, start looking for a way out. In other words, leaving should be your number one priority and strive to make it as dignified an exit as you possibly can. The truth is, abusive relationships will never change for the better. Therefore, no matter how hard it is, leaving is always the best option in the long run. And when you feel crushed by your decision to leave, always remember that things always get worse before becoming better. You will turn out to be fine in due course. The good thing about hitting rock bottom is that the only way from there is up! And on top of that, don’t forget to keep working on yourself so as to improve yourself worth as a human being.



Popular on Panda Gossips