My Girlfriend Cheated, What Should I Do?
Relationships can be tricky some times. One day, you and your Girlfriend might be having the time of your lives, talking about getting married and having kids only to fight and break up in the next. It is because of such unpredictability that relationships are thrilling and beautiful. But as we all know, nothing beautiful comes without its fair share of pain and drawbacks. For instance, when a girl that you truly love decides to cheat, your world can crumble like feta cheese right before your eyes. Many guys become confused and over emotional, not knowing what the next step in life is going to be. Other guys cannot cope with the pain, so they choose to lash out, which can have its fair share of problems. Below are certain ways in which one can deal with a situation where his girlfriend decides to cheat:
HOW TO REACT WHEN YOU FIND OUT THAT YOUR GIRLFRIEND IS A CHEAT
Let’s face it, guys: whether you loved her deeply or not, there is nothing pretty about finding out that your girl has been “bumping uglies” with another man. A lot of things are bound to cross your mind, and needless to say, one might end up doing things that he may regret later. It is therefore shrewd that one prepares for such an eventuality because as strong as a relationship might seem to be, it is rather difficult to tell what kind of twists fate has up its sleeves. Here are some of the things a boyfriend can do when he discovers the worst:
1. Keep Yourself Too Busy To Think About Your Girlfriend Who Cheated
Since the idle mind is the workshop of the devil, try to keep your mind off of it even if you still love her. When you keep busy with sports, working out or helping others, you will blow off some steam and approach the matter with a sober mind. Get your punching gloves on and rain on the punching bag all you want; it will help with releasing the pain effectively. That way, you can avoid being too emotional, which we all know doesn’t really end well.
2. Open Up To Someone You Trust As Soon As You Find Out Your Girlfriend Cheated And You Still Love Her
We all have a couple of people that can keep a secret or we can trust with our lives. If that is the case, then those are the exact people that you ought to be talking to. They will definitely come through for you in a very big way, and you will definitely be better off since cheating is painful especially if you still love her. If you don’t trust any of your friends, then it would be a good idea to talk to a family member or a counselor. They will surely take their time and help you find a solution to your situation.
3. If You Are Emotional And Angry, Stay Away From Your Girlfriend Who Just Cheated
Since you still love her, anger is highly likely to be what you are feeling when your girl cheats on you. Take a break from seeing her until you have cooled down a little bit and are ready to approach the issue. DO NOT approach the issue while you are still emotional. If possible, try to avoid their calls or texts, and tell them that you need some time apart. If you remove the element that is causing you pain at the moment, then you have a much better chance of healing much faster and confronting them.
4. Consider Proper And In-Depth Self-Examination After Your Girlfriend Has Cheated
Why is this important? Well, your girlfriend might have cheated because of your shortcomings. Before confronting her and demanding answers, make sure that you did your part. A relationship is a two-way street, and it takes two to tango. There is a possibility that it's your fault she went to “tango” with another guy, and that hurts because you still love her.
5. Always Keep Reminding Yourself That You Are Good Enough Even After Your Girlfriend Cheated
Do this as many times as possible until it becomes a mantra. When you still love her and she cheats on you, you can easily lose self-confidence and get yourself wrapped up in a cocoon of self-pity. Remember that when someone cheats, it's on them, not you! With that kind of thinking, you will recover from the hurt much more quickly and make a clear cut decision on whether you want to take her back or move on.
6. DO NOT Jump Into Another Relationship Just To Show Your Girlfriend That Cheated You Are A Playboy
More often than not, doing so will only make you look like a sore loser, since deep down you still love her. Take your time and recover, and once you have made a decision to move on, you make sure that you are upgrading to a person who will respect your feelings.
7. Address Your Trust Issues Once Your Girlfriend Has Cheated On You
Of course, you will have your fair share of trust issues especially when you find out that your spouse is a cheat. If that happens, make sure that you tell her to her face. And if she is willing to work hard to ensure that she wins it back, good. If she wants to bolt, good. Either way, you should always remember your worth and keep telling you that there is someone out there who deserves your time and trust. Don’t stop trusting women just because of the mistakes of one.
8. Always Have Yourself Surrounded By Positively Happy People To Ease The Pain Of Being Cheated On
Apart from opening up to someone and keeping busy, always make sure that you keep a good company at all times. If you still love her and she proceeds to break your heart, you become vulnerable and if you are surrounded by the wrong crowd, you might easily end up doing drugs and drinking in a vague attempt to ease the pain. And from experience, drinking only exacerbates the problem – end of story.
9. Keep A Low Profile After Being Cheated On, And Avoid Getting Drunk And The Paranoia That Comes With It
It is normal to be overwhelmed by emotions especially when the news of your Girlfriend is fresh in the grinding mill especially if you still love her. Avoiding the limelight will be a good thing to do because at the end of the day, people will always find something new to talk about and you will be home free. But as you take your time away from the limelight/public, always remember not to cut everyone out completely. Keep a positive crowd around you because nothing dredges up the painful feelings of a heartbreak more than solitude, especially if you still love her.
10. People Cheat And Get Cheated On; No Relationship Is Perfect – Period
Yes, people might laugh at you or talk behind your back, and that will most definitely hurt, especially if you still love her. But when all is said and done, their relationships might even suck more than your does at the moment. Some people might be out there calling you names and questioning your manhood, yet their girlfriends/wives cheat on them on a regular basis without them ever finding out. That said, remember to not be too hard on yourself while avoiding all the negative vibes that come with it. At the end of the day, time will always heal you, and you can decide on whether to move on or to try it once more.
WHAT TO DO WHEN YOU DECIDED TO TAKE BACK A GIRLFRIEND WHO JUST CHEATED
Well, let's just say that some relationships are stronger than others, and in some cases where the girl decides to cheat, the boyfriend might decide to give her a chance especially if he still loves her. The latter is a much better option rather than getting drunk and acting stupid. Most people might see this move as a weak one, but then again people - as well as their relationships - are different. So if you decided to take your cheating girlfriend back because you still love her, here are some of the things you can do to make things better and prevent chances of her repeating the same mistake:
1. You And Your Cheating Girlfriend Should Make A Point Of Seeing A Counselor
With a relationship professional present, it would be difficult for you to lose your cool. And even if you lose your cool, it would be in a controlled environment, which means you can do something that you will regret later.
2. Take Time To Reflect - A Trustworthy Girlfriend Might Cheat Because Of Your Shortcomings
This might be always being drunk, not performing in bed, not giving her proper attention, or not being the knight in shining armor you once were. So if you decide to take her back, then make sure that you are doing things the right way.
3. Your Cheating Girlfriend Has To Understand That She Has To Win Your Trust All Over Again
If she is willing to do all in her power to do so, then she deserves a second chance without a doubt. But if she is not willing to accept her shortcomings and own up to her mistakes, then you should know better than letting her back in.
4. Taking Your Cheating Girlfriend Back Means Making Things Better
That said, you will be required to accept that you hit a snag and start working your way up. Try doing things together so that you can make your bond stronger and at the same time move past the cheating experience much faster as it is needed.
5. Make Your Feelings Known To Your Girlfriend Every Time The Need Arises
You can also encourage her to be vocal about her feelings, including all about her ex. The latter is important because at the end of the day, nothing will ever come between you or build up to the point that cheating is seen as a viable option. It is, therefore, a good idea to have a sit down on a regular basis so as to vent out. You can also make a point of coming up with a tradition that dictates never going to bed with baggage or hard feelings because that is how people start cheating.
6. Make More Time For Each Other’s Family
Instead of getting drunk and being paranoid about the time she hung out with her ex, try to improve and consider spending time with her family. The latter is important because there is no way to understand each other better than meeting her parents and siblings. Doing so will help you understand her more and know how best to handle her, and it will, therefore, reduce the chances of cheating. Also, make sure that you do the same from your side so that the feeling is definitely mutual. Feel free to ask around, and they will give you valuable information about her which will go a long way in helping your relationship better. Once again, avoid getting drunk as it will surely propel emotions and make you her ex sooner than later.
7. Trying To Get Your Girlfriend Into Your Circle Makes Her Feels That You Still Love Her
The reason why your girlfriend might have decided to cheat on you might have been because of feeling out of place. Girls always want to feel wanted, and if you box them out, well, they will surely find someone else who sees them as important enough to include them. And that is how people end up cheating.
8. Also, Make Some Time To Get to Know Her Friends & Best Friend Apart From Her Family
One way of getting to your girl’s heart is definitely through making her friends happy. Girls have a way of seeking the opinions of their close friends before making any tough choices about life, which also includes cheating. So if you are in a position to paint the picture of great guys (or one that is trying to), then you will definitely prevent any future cases of cheating. Just because she cheated on you doesn’t mean that she should work on making amends alone. If you truly love her as much as you claim, then it is important that you make an effort to meet her halfway, irrespective of how hard it might seem.
9. Include Your Cheat Of A Girlfriend In Your Activities/Hobbies If You Still Love Her
Still in the spirit of meeting her halfway, it is imperative that you make sure that you are including her in your hobbies as long as it doesn’t include getting drunk. Girls always love being part of things that make you happy, so next time you want to go out there to watch a game at a club, bring her along. It helps her forget about her ex, and it could easily put you in a position of being her best friend. Seeing you happy and feeling as though she is part of your happiness will without a doubt play a big role when it comes to making her loyal to you. You can also return the favor the next time that you want her to associate you with any feelings of pleasure, which is an amazing feeling altogether.
10. Taking Your Cheating Girlfriend Back Means Not Holding A Grudge Afterwards
You have to let go of the past and stop holding a grudge, since you made up your mind to forgive and take her back. If your girlfriend is keen on making amends in your relationship, then she will definitely do all in her power to make things work out between you. With time, your relationship will definitely get better.
MOVING ON FROM A GIRLFRIEND WHO JUST CHEATED EVEN IF YOU STILL LOVE HER
In my opinion, moving on once you find out that your girlfriend cheated with her ex or her best friend or whoever is the best option, even if you still love her. People always exhaust all the options before they step out and cheat, and if that happens to you, then I am sorry to say that she doesn’t think you are worth it. Do you want to be with a lover - a best friend - who does see your worth, who might get drunk and cheat with her ex? If your answer is yes, then moving on is definitely the best idea for you. Here are ten ways in which you can use to make sure that you are moving on swiftly, even if you still love her:
1. When Your Girlfriend Cheats, Get Rid Of Her Immediately, Even If You Still Love Her
When your girl has cheated on you, she has hurt your feelings – the feelings that have a way of turning bad every time you see her. It would, therefore, be a good idea if you just got rid of her once and for all and never even think about her. Even if you have mutual social or professional circles, you can always find a way in which you can end up avoiding her altogether. By also avoiding her when drunk, you will most definitely be a good idea for you altogether, since it will help you move on even if you still love her.
2. Cut All Forms Of Communication With The Girlfriend And Act Like Her Ex Even If You Still Love Her
Apart from avoiding her - which is tough, especially if you still love her - it is also important to cut off all sorts of communication between you two. It is such an amazing thing to always rebuild yourself from scratch without receiving messages or calls from the person who tore you down because it might take you back from where you started. Girls are usually aware when you stop giving them attention, so it would be a good thing for you to cut off all the contact because, well, that is exactly what they will attempt to do.
3. Always Keep Busy to Avoid Thinking About Your Cheating Girlfriend
As earlier stated, keeping busy will help you move on because apart from not always thinking about her and the pain she caused you, you can always have the opportunity to get rid of the anger. Punching that bag or lifting those barbells will surely help you blow off the steam.
4. Get Back To The Dating Scene As Soon As You Fully Get Over Your Cheating Girlfriend
Let’s face it: there are plenty of fish in the sea, and you should not beat yourself about her cheating with either her ex or best friend. That said, you need to go back there and start looking for the perfect girl. You might be surprised to find out there a lot of the girls who will value you and have higher quality than your immediate ex-girlfriend. But only make sure that you are moving on once you are done with your grieving process. The reason for doing this is so that you can avoid carrying baggage into your next relationship. Feelings always have a way of coming out and affecting your next union, even without you knowing a darn thing about it.
5. Find New Hobbies That Don’t Include Thinking About Your Girlfriend That Just Cheated Even If You Still Love Her
Apart from just hitting the gym, make sure that whatever it is that you are doing is interesting enough. If you are keeping yourself busy with something that isn’t as interesting enough, then you will most certainly find yourself having feelings for your ex and feeling hurt all over again. So try enrolling into a gaming club or something else that you not only love, but will keep you from doing things that will end up hurting your feelings altogether.
6. Find Someone To Talk to About Your Girlfriend That Cheated, Be It A Close Friend, Family, Or Your Best Friend
Doing so will help you get it off your chest and help you kick start the healing process. It is a tad difficult for you to just sit there and wish these feelings away because they will not do that unless you are willing to open up to someone. Just make sure that the person you are opening up to (e.g. best friend) is someone who has your best interests at heart. Most people just want to get the gossip, so you need to make sure that you have carefully checked out the person to whom you are about to spill the beans.
7. When Your Girlfriend Has Cheated, Pay Attention to Everything Else Apart from Her Even If You Still Love Her
As said earlier, a girlfriend will always take notice when you stop paying attention to them, most especially after they cheated. So if they try reaching out even after you have gotten rid of them, just tell them to stop bothering you in the nicest, most respectful way possible, irrespective of how much it will hurt you to do so. The girlfriend needs to understand that choices have consequences and that when she chose to betray you, she has to bear the pain and possibility of you turning from her best friend into her ex.
8. As Hard as It Might Seem, You Need To Stop Thinking About Her Future
It might be difficult imagining her seeing the guy that she cheated on you with, e.g. her ex or male best friend. Well, it is clear as day that you can’t control her, and letting her go is the best option at that point. Maybe she might realize what she lost. Either way, the best thing for you to do is realizing your worth and never going back on it.
8. Don’t Be Too Hard On Yourself
So your girlfriend didn’t see the value in you? You still love her, and she cheated with her ex or her best friend? So what!? As earlier stated, there are plenty of fish in the sea, so the time you are wasting thinking about the girl should be spent on looking for other girls. A relationship is not guaranteed, so you shouldn’t be too hard on yourself and get drunk. Cut yourself some slack, go out there, and live your life. Let the cheater cheat herself out of a wonderful guy.
9. Do Not Have Any Regrets Whatsoever
Especially when you still love her, you might end up having having a feeling of inadequacy when your girlfriend cheated with her ex or best friend and feel that you should have done more. Don’t become the victim, especially if you did all that you could in a bid to please your girlfriend, but she didn’t get to see it. Stand up, dust yourself, and move on because that is what real men do.
THE BEST APPROACH ON HOW TO REACT WHEN YOUR GIRLFRIEND CHEATED WITH HER MALE BEST FRIEND OR HER EX
When all has been said and done, it is always a good idea to end a relationship as soon as you find out your girlfriend has cheated on you with her ex/best friend or anybody for that matter. Before your girlfriend cheated, she considered all the options, and her conclusion was that she doesn't care how it would hurt you. So why would you want to be with someone who doesn’t value you? What’s the point of fighting for a cheating girlfriend when there are plenty of girls out there who wish to have a shot at dating someone as amazing as you? In my opinion, as well as experience, the best way for you to deal with a cheating girlfriend is cutting her off, giving her the freedom that she has always wanted. Apart from saving yourself a boatload of heartache, which is bound to happen in the future, leaving your girlfriend when she cheated will also show that you have a lot self-respect. Your girlfriend, as well as anyone else, should know that you are not a person to walk all over. Once anyone walks out of your life, or disrespects you for that matter, there is no coming back from that – period. Once you have done so, you can now focus on making yourself better for someone who will see your worth instead of getting drunk over a lost cause. Life is too short and too precious to be clinging on someone who just can’t see how amazing a guy you are! Besides, we have all had that one girlfriend we never thought we would live without even after they cheated, but look at us now!