Dating Older Men: Learn the pros and cons of the age gap

What are the advantages and disadvantages of Dating Older Men

By Madiha A.
Dating Older Men: Learn the pros and cons of the age gap

Tips for Dating Older Men

Age is just a number; this notion is correct even if you are planning to date a man much older than you. Getting attracted toward an older man because of his maturity, wisdom and decent personality is natural. 
Men and women age differently. The number (age) increases equally but they mature at different numbers (ages). Where a woman matures at 32, it takes another couple of years for men to reach that level of maturity. Until late 30’s and early 40’s, a man is considered “immature”. 

Here are a few tips that will help you with the do’s and don’ts of dating older guys.

1. Check the Age

Grey hair doesn't guarantee the qualities you are looking for. If he is still in his early 30s, wait for a few more years. You don’t want to end up dating same immature and wimpy guy you broke up with a couple of months ago. An age difference of minimum 10 years would be counted as "dating an older man".  

2. Be Yourself

Don’t try to change yourself to impress him. If he got attracted to you, it was because of who you were so stay that way.

3. Let the past remain in the past

This goes for both of you. Talking about ex’s won’t get you anywhere. Live fresh, talk fresh. Try to make new memories instead of enlivening old ones.

4. Be genuine

Say what you mean and mean what you say. Show your genuine interest in thoughts and ideas shared by him. Fake interest, hollow laughs and insincere emotions are short-lived. 

5. Accept & Embrace

With good comes bad. If you like one thing in your older partner, you might not like another. Acceptance is key in any relationship. Accept the flaws and weaknesses that come with old age.  

The Pros and Cons of Dating an Older Men

If you are dating an older person or planning to date one, this only means one thing; you couldn’t find happiness in your previous relationship with the younger guy. While the aged person looks charming in his silvery grey hair, there can be unwanted strings attached. Here are a few pros and cons of dating an older man:

Pros of dating older men

1. Mature

They are mature and sensible. Fights over petty issues won’t be happening so often if you are in a relationship with an older person.

2. Financially Stable

They are financially stable and well established. Their present and future will be well taken care of. They can afford vacations even if it is once a year, fine weekly dine outs, luxury cars and owe mortgage-free home.       

3. Confident & Independent

They are confident and independent and both of these traits come with financial stability and life experiences and your older partner has both. They know how to carry them, keep in shape and look good.  

4. Experienced

They have more experience. Life, relationships, sex and handling different situations effectively; the more experience he has, more significantly helpful it will be in the relationship.  

5. Emotionally Sound

 They are emotionally sound and grown out of dramas and tantrums that are perks of young age.

Cons of Dating Older Men

1. Social Awkwardness

There are chances of getting awkward stares from random people. They might even address you as father/daughter.

2. Issues with Family

You might not get along with his previous family and children, or even disapproved by his parents and siblings due to a more conservative mindset and upbringing from the older generations.

3. Issues with friends

Your friends might not be able to mingle due to age difference. Different interests can lead you away from your close-knitted group of friends. 

4. Health Issues

He might be having certain health issues. If not now, health problems may pull you apart. He might not be able to sexually satisfy you if he has certain health conditions which can be critical in your relationship.

5. Controlling

Being a mature person, he might like to be in control which can be intimidating at times.

What is it like dating an older men in your 20s

While dating a person several years older seems exciting, it can also be intimidating in several ways. If you are still in your 20s, studying or struggling to pursue a career, keeping up with adult demands of an older partner can be fun and daunting at the same time. As long as you two are happy, nothing else matters.

There can be underlying reasons; missing a father figure in life can get you wrongly attracted towards an older person. You might realize later that the feelings you developed for him were as if for a father. 

You can get mixed feelings along the way; either feeling of being too young for him or him too old for you. It can be good and bad at the same time depending on how you feel.  

Being young and energetic can either drive you apart or become closer. You can either feel running ahead of him in life or you may feel to remain close to take care of him and be with him on the downhill. 

If dating young women isn’t his hobby, it can turn into a long-term relationship. But if it’s his pastime, then you should also consider all options. If today he got attracted toward you, tomorrow it might be someone else; even your friend. 

Being young means more flexible and adaptive and this will help you adjust easily in his lifestyle. As you age, you develop certain habits and routines that become difficult to change. 

What is it like dating an older men in your 40s

As you grow, your ability to change and accommodate grows weak. While in 20s you are still building up yourself and making adjustments. In your 40s, you become strict and sturdy. Making significant changes in your life becomes difficult for you and getting adapted to new circumstances seems impossible. If you are a career oriented person, you have achieved a social stature and established yourself as a successful career woman. You have become independent and more confident. Getting into a relationship with an older person, when you are in your 40s can be quite challenging.

Here are some tips to overcome the challenges.

Look beyond looks

It is time to bypass more obvious traits like looks and see beyond the outer skin. If you are still looking for dash and dazzle, you will end up with nothing. Look out for loyalty, common interests and traits beyond physical attractiveness. 

Be Contented

While you are young, you have many choices, as you age, your choices are narrowed down. Try to be more contented when it comes to material things. You might want to look young and flawless to attract men but let the men get to know the real you. Don’t hide yourself in the mask of perfect layers of makeup. Men might get attracted but it wouldn’t be long lasting especially older guys who have seen and dated many beautiful women.

Be Thoughtful

While some women experience lowered sex drive in 40s, some other learned ways to understand the demands of their bodies in unusual ways. If you are dating an older person while you are in your 40s, you must consider how your partner is responding to your desires based on his health condition. Try to accommodate and manage your inner desires and find pleasure in activities other than sex. 

Look out for each other’s families

It’s that time of your life when you both may have grown up kids. You both have established careers. You both are independent. At this time you need each other for comfort and companionship. You need to look beyond each other as well, look out for each other’s families. Show genuine concern for each other’s children. This will make the bond stronger and enduring. 

Be Accommodating & Understanding

When menopause is just around the corner and symptoms are kick-starting, disturbed hormones are bringing mood swings. Let your partner understand what you are going through. Trying to understand each other’s physical conditions and responding accordingly is very important. No matter how down you feel, try to lift up the spirits of each other.

The Psychology of Dating an Older Men

Celebrity couple George and Amal Clooney with an age gap of 18 years and many other couples like them have broken the stereotype of an appropriate age difference to be not more than five years. If your interests match and both of you understand each other, you are a perfect match no matter how many years you are apart. There could be none too many psychological reasons behind an unmatched couple. From monetary benefits to protective comfort, older men have always fascinated younger women. Older men are thought to be loyal, reliable and affectionate. They are more understanding when it comes to feelings and emotions. 


Being in a relationship has several advantages and disadvantages. It does not matter how many years older or younger your partner is. What matters is contributing to the fullest while being least demanding. This is the essence of a successful relationship. If you are sincere, genuine and affectionate, your partner will cherish your presence and miss your absence. Age is just a number!