How To Approach A Girl You Like At The Bar And Not Get Rejected

Approaching a girl at the bar is no easy task: one wrong word and you're left in the dust. Follow these tips and leave rejections in the past.

By Reggie
How To Approach A Girl You Like At The Bar And Not Get Rejected

Approaching a girl at the bar: how do we do it?

It's Friday night: you put on your best going-out clothes and head to the bar with some good friends to have a good time. You arrive at the bar without a care in the world. You're just there to have fun after all when all of a sudden you see her: beautiful wavy hair, a wide smile, perfect dress, and the type of walk that demands attention. What began as a fun night out with your good friends has quickly turned into something much bigger: a chance to have a conversation with this amazing woman who has just stolen your heart. But how do you approach her?

Approaching women will be no easy task

First, you must realize that approaching women at a bar will not be the easiest of tasks. However, there are some strategies behind it. What strategy you use is completely up to you, as each woman is different and has different tastes. Nevertheless, if you follow these tips, your chance of striking up a conversation with the mystery girl at the bar will increase, and that slight chance of hooking up may not be so slight by the time your conversation has ended.

Make sure she is not at the bar with a significant other

Some men have a tendency to be impatient in this situation. You see a woman at the bar and approach her without even thinking to ask if you can buy her a drink. Afterwards, you feel a strong tap on the back of their shoulder. You know the tap too well. It's the tap of the boyfriend wondering, in a curious manner, why on earth you are speaking to his girlfriend. Awkward! Don't be this guy. Take the time to pay attention to her first. Make sure that she is not with a significant other. If she's not, then you are ready to approach this girl.

Win over her friends first

So, we now know that if she's with a boyfriend, or girlfriend, that we're out of luck, but what if she's with a group of friends? The popular belief is to give up and call it a night. No one has ever penetrated the strong force field of a group of women friends. Right? Wrong! Yes, it's true, approaching a girl who is with friends is more difficult, but it is not impossible. The key to this situation is to win over her friends first. You may feel like a one-man-army up against an army of thousands, but if you can win her friends over, you have a shot. One way to do this is by being direct and polite: simply ask her friends if you may speak with the girl you find so beautiful. This sounds silly, but here's the thing, girls travel in groups, and they do that to protect each other from guys that are, well, jerks. Break their strong force field by showing them you mean no harm to their friend and they just may allow you to approach her. Now, it must be said that your chances to bring her home or hook up are very slim. However, you just might get her digits and that is where the fun begins.

Approach the girl with confidence

Confidence is a big part of approaching women at the bar. You don't see a guy who is sweating, shaking, and mumbling picking up many women, and you definitely don't see them hooking up with many women. Women love confidence. Yet, it is really hard to be confident when approaching a girl. So, take a deep breath (maybe take a quick drink for courage) and approach the girl at the bar with confidence.

Rejection at the bar: don't fear it

Before we look at the remaining tips, we all must understand one thing: rejection happens! It does, it just does. Rejection is part of life, and life at a bar is no different. Rejection at a bar can happen for many reasons: you said the wrong thing; you had the wrong timing; she isn't looking for anything; you smell, you tripped and fell — the list never ends. But it happens. Knowing that rejection is possible isn't a bad thing. In fact, it's actually the opposite. Understanding that the woman you are approaching may reject you will actually give you more confidence in your approach. Now, if you do get rejected, you would have realized beforehand that that was a possibility and your heart will survive another day. With that said, let's look at some more tips because no one came here for rejection!

Lock eyes with the girl

Your eyes can say it all: you can have a full conversation with your eyes before you even speak. If you see the girl from across the bar, don't be afraid to make eye contact and hold it. Just from this, you will be able to tell whether she's interested or not. That's right. Just by catching a woman's eye, you can see if she is looking for a conversation or looking for you to go as far away as possible. If you look deep enough, you may even be able to tell if there's a possible way to hook up later on. If you feel that there was a sliver — or more — of a connection once you've done this, then you are ready to approach this girl and begin your conversation.

Show that smile

Similar to gazing into her eyes from across the bar is showing her your smile from across the bar. This shouldn't be one of those extra wide creepy smiles but your natural smile. Maybe even add a smooth head nod to the smile. Approaching a woman at the bar, with no signs to go by her, is challenging enough. But if you are able to make eye contact, give her a little smile and a head nod to go with, she might smile back. That makes picking up a girl at the bar a little less traumatizing!

Have an idea for your opening line

Many of these tips work well when put together, but as mentioned earlier, you can use one of these tips without the other. However, if you put them all together, you have a much better chance of having a conversation with the girl you approached, or if everything goes well, you may even have a chance of hooking up later on. That being said, you must have an opening line or idea for what you will say. We will talk about those awful, cheesy pick-up lines soon so you can do better! But for now, let's focus on an opening line that isn't so immature. An opening line can really be anything, but it needs to be thoughtful and it needs to carry on a conversation. Guys, how many times have you approached a woman at the bar, gave a great opening line, and just nothing else? The conversation goes south, so you have to turn, face your friends and take that walk of shame. To not let this happen, come up with an opening line that requires a thoughtful answer or story. Then, build off her answer and, before you know it, you're deep in the conversation and having an amazing time.

Refrain from using cheesy pick-up lines

#memes #bestmemes#meme #best#pickuplines

A post shared by Robert Fraser (@voltrxn_robbie_d) on

"Are you from Tennessee? Cause you're the only ten I see!" Yeah, good luck with that line. Hopefully, the girl won't laugh at you too much for that pick-up line. Listen, pick-up lines might work, just like you might win $500 in the lottery. Can it happen? Yes. Will it happen often? No. Girls, especially girls old enough to be at a bar, like mature, smart men. They don't tend to like a guy who uses pick-up lines, as they can be silly, easy, not meaningful and not thoughtful. You don't want that. So, the overall message for this tip is simple: refrain from using pick-up lines. If you must use one, you have to play it off in an innocent type of way, a cute way perhaps. However, it probably isn't your best bet when approaching a girl at the bar, and certainly not the best bet if your goal is to hook up at the end of the night.

Compliment the girl

One way to approach a girl at the bar is by complimenting her. Who doesn't like a nice compliment from time-to-time? It just puts a smile on your face. Let's say you're walking down the street and a stranger tells you that you have amazing hair. Unless you're having a terrible day, you're probably going to smile automatically. At the bar is no different: most girls like being complimented. However, there is a catch! Use compliments that aren't overused, as compliments that are used over, and over, and over again, can come off as empty and just meaningless. You know the ones: "You look really cute tonight", "You're the most beautiful girl in the world". Examples like these are too common. You may even mean every word, but the woman at the bar doesn't think that. She thinks you're just another guy trying to hook up with a random girl. So, approach women with unique compliments instead.

Use unique compliments

Unique compliments are a much better way to approach a girl at the bar, better than common compliments and much better than pick-up lines. The best way to come up with a unique pick-up line is to be honest, guys, actually honest. Honesty for guys can be a work in progress, but we try! Anyway, you have to be honest and to do that you have to pay attention to her. You may have an honest compliment the moment you lay eyes on her or you may have an honest compliment after a minute or so. You just have to pay attention and a compliment will sure pop in your head. Here are a couple examples of unique compliments: "I noticed you across the bar dancing with a little bit of a shoulder roll. I thought that was amazing. Maybe you could show me that move." "Excuse me, but I had to tell you how amazing you look tonight. Your face looks so vibrant. Do you have make-up on or is that just your natural look?" Compliments like that will give you more confidence when approaching a girl at the bar. Girls will be more likely to have a conversation with you and it may lead to you both agreeing to hook up later on.

Approach the girl in style

Another good tip when approaching a girl in the bar is to do it in style. Guys that can approach a girl, talk with a girl and hook up with a girl while wearing sweatpants and a cartoon T-shirt come in rare form. You definitely need to have some style: a nice, ironed shirt, a fresh pair of jeans, new kicks (you won't believe how many girls look at shoes). If you have a nice belt and watch, slap those on too. Girls like men with style, or at least guys who put in some effort to be stylish. For the most part, girls will decide if they are interested in you rather quickly. So, if you are lacking style at the bar, then your chances of having a conversation with a girl, dancing with a girl or even doing anything with a girl are much much lower.

Not everyone owns fancy clothing: use what you got and make it count

Now, the key idea in the above tip was to put some effort into your style. Not every guy at the bar (girls you need to understand this as well) has the money or knowledge to display some style. You'd believe that if guys knew that women were attracted to men wearing fancy items at a bar, we would do it all the time. But sadly, not all of us are James Bond rich. That's why putting in an effort is key. If all you have is one nice T-shirt, jeans, and an old pair of shoes, then rock them out. But first, clean those shoes, iron your clothes and be confident. Girls will notice, and they will like what they see.

Approach her with your own personality: don't be fake

Next, and very important, don't be fake! This means not lying about yourself and being something you're not. Just don't do it. You hear the phrase "be yourself" all the time, and we tend to laugh at it. Yet, it's a great way to approach a girl, and she will surely appreciate your honesty. Remember, you have to always be ready for rejection. Don't expect it, but understand it happens. Once you do that, then you will be less tempted to lie. Just be yourself, don't be fake.

Be relaxed when you approach her, but not too relaxed

Being relaxed at a bar comes naturally: you're with friends, your mind is off work and the struggles of life and you're just having fun. But everything changes when you see that girl walk into the bar. All of a sudden your heart starts pounding and sweat begins dripping off places you never knew produced sweat, and this is happening before you even approach her! You have to get it together, although you may never do it completely, you need to get to a level where you can be relaxed enough to be able to form sentences and breathe at a normal rate. The bar doesn't need to deal with a panic attack. Catch your breath, go over your opening line and approach the girl that's making your heart beat a million times per second. Now, at the same time, you don't want to be too relaxed: just enough to have a nice conversation. Once you begin talking, you'll notice that you become more and more comfortable. Approaching her is always the most nerve-wracking part.

Offer to buy her a drink at the bar

Finally, the last way to approach a girl at the bar, and possibly the most common way: buy her a drink. A great move that stands the test of time. Some girls do not want guys to buy them a drink because they may want to buy their own drink. They might not even be drinking in the first place (if this is the case, offer to order some water for her, it will at least make them laugh) or they may already have one drink and you didn't notice. Do not bring them a drink. Firstly, it is kind of a risky and unsafe move on your part. Secondly, and what was mentioned in the above paragraph, they might not want a drink. Approach her first, talk to her for a little and then offer to buy her a drink.

Have fun and enjoy the moment

Approaching a girl at the bar will always be challenging and nerve-wracking. Just remember to enjoy the moment, enjoy your time out with your friends, and have fun! Then, when you're ready to make a move, use these tips. You'll notice rejection will become less common, and enjoying the night with a beautiful girl at the bar will become more common.