You’re busy minding your own life and doing your own stuff when your heart suddenly stops upon seeing this person who changed your perspective about love and relationships. And, that same person also feels the same way and you started going out and getting to know each other. However, you realized that you’re dating an introvert. But, before you worry about anything, let’s take a peek at some pointers in order to have a worthwhile date with an introvert.
Plan a simple but worthwhile date. It doesn’t need to be expensive and glamorous. Remember that introverts prefer it plain but enjoyable. You can start from a nature trip like a walk in the park and a visit to the zoo. Picnics and campfires are also worth doing with an introvert. Then, you can also hang out at a coffee shop and catch up with some good stories while sipping your coffee.
Introverts love peace and serenity most of the time. While a longer conversation is a better way of knowing each other’s interests, space and quiet time is also important to them. Keeping silent doesn’t mean an introvert doesn’t like you, they just need some time to refill their thoughts and slowly warm up again.
Don’t plan on having long dates until the wee hours of the morning as introverts don’t enjoy a large crowd and a noisy environment. As the hour progresses, you will notice your date feeling and looking exhausted because of all the noises and people around them.
Don’t do all the talking. Your introvert date would most probably tell you to shut up if you continue to talk all throughout and tell a lot of nonsense stories about yourself. Introverts love talking to people who are true to themselves and not pretending. They love a “true” conversation.
Benefits of Dating an Introvert Man or Woman
They said that dating an introvert needs a lot of patience and understanding. You need to put up with his or her silence most of the time. Some people don’t want to mingle with them. However, before you think twice if you wanted to share your life with them or not, why don’t you look at the benefits first? Maybe you will change your mind after.
1. No public arguments or rowdy fights.
An introvert doesn’t like to be in the limelight so your partner doesn’t want a quarrel where people can see him or her shouting at you. If an introvert is mad, you’ll be sure that there is no raising of voice at you in public places.
2. They’re very good listeners.
While macho males love to be the center of attention and talk for long hours, an introvert doesn’t seem to take interest in talking. Instead, an introvert is very fond of listening and taking into heart what someone is talking about. However, be prepared to have a one-sided conversation most of the time. Also, watch out for some rare occasions where an introvert is ready to pour his or her heart out, especially if the topic is relevant. It’s a one-time experience that you’ll really look forward to.
3. Honesty is the best policy.
Because introverts are not social butterflies, expect them to just devote themselves around you. They don’t like hanging out at parties or doing some late night outs so you’ll be sure that their loyalty will stick with you. When something goes wrong in your relationship, they won’t pretend and will tell it straight to you so you’ll not have false hopes that everything’s still in place.
Struggles of Dating an Introvert Man or Woman
From being a couch potato or a bookworm, the dating struggle is real with introverts. If you’re an extrovert and dating an introvert, you’ll really feel the tight space between the two of you. Introverts are very shy people so expect a lot of “cricket-chirping” moments when you’re dating. Introverts just don’t know how to dynamic and may not hold a conversation for long after a “hi” and “hello”.
1. Unwilling to try new experiences
Introverts are not social people so you really need a lot of patience and sometimes, courage, just to let them out of their comfort zone. While you prefer late-night parties and dancing all night long in bars and drinking with your party friends, your introvert date prefers curling up in bed, reading novels, or movie bingeing on Netflix. It’s really hard to break an introvert’s shell and if you’re really serious into dating him or her, you should be careful and tactful and slowly break his or her shell in a way that would make him or her feel loved and cared for eventually.
2. Takes time to socialize with your friends
Dating an introvert can be frustrating sometimes, and it’s also exhausting on their side. It’s hard to force something like an outdoor activity with your group of friends and a lot of socializing and stuff. Introverts prefer some quiet time and a lot of space. Though they also socialize with their friends, it’s hard for them to leap into a bigger world than what they are used to. It takes time for them to absorb and process all these hustle and bustle of getting to know your friends.
3. Tend to take a longer time to process their thoughts
Introverts have a lot of inhibitions and worry about everything but don’t take them wrong. They do have a lot to share as introverts have this personality of being reflective and daydreamers at times, but they restrain themselves from saying something in fear of rejection and the object of laughter. They definitely need more time to process their thoughts. They worry about anything, even the minute details and they tend to overthink things.
8 Tips to Note when you're Dating an Introvert
1. Introverts are not really social outcasts
Even if they don’t like being around the big crowd, they can be comfortable mingling with them, as long as you give them a few minutes or even an hour of “me” time afterward, and don’t make them stay and mingle with a lot of people for long hours as this can easily drain their energy.
2. A concrete plan is better than surprises
While some may like it, most introverts don’t like being surprised and do things out of the blue. It exasperates them. They prefer things planned ahead and laid out on them in detail so they can have the time to prepare themselves physically and mentally.
3. Be genuine and sincere
Authenticity and sincerity are very important to an introvert. They don’t talk much, but if they do, you should pay close attention to what they say and they appreciate it a lot if you remember the important details they shared because it means that you really care for them. Just be true to yourself when you’re dating an introvert and you’ll be surprised how they reciprocate.
4. Be mindful of your introvert partner’s mood signals
Observe your partner’s actions and mood swings. How long can he or she endure socializing with lots of people? What triggers his or her bad mood? When is the time to keep your silence and just let him or her mind his or her own space? These are some of the things you should take into account in order to have a smooth-sailing relationship.
5. Introverts are loyal partners
True enough, consider yourself lucky if you’re dating an introvert because you can be sure of their faithfulness to you. They don’t waste their time into relationships that are shallow.
6. Give them enough space to breathe
Introverts value their “alone time”, but it doesn’t mean that they don’t like spending time with you. It’s just their way of reflecting on things and recovering, after that, expect a lot of good times together.
7. Introverts hate small talk
While a lot of people love it, introverts think otherwise. They prefer talks that are short but sweet and sincere, which leads to a more meaningful conversation.
8. They are not really good at flirting
Introverts are generally shy people, so don’t expect them to initiate sexy acts to turn you on. If they wanted to have some intimate moments with you, you’ll know it through their body language and not through words. Just make sure if their actions send in the right signal that you’re anticipating and not the other way around to avoid misunderstanding.
Dating an introvert is a very challenging experience, especially if you are an extrovert type of person. Sometimes, you just wanted to stay back and just choose someone your type. But hey, before you think of ditching your introvert date, try to understand where they’re coming from and take note of some helpful advice so you’ll be sure that your introvert-extrovert relationship will be worthwhile and engaging.