10 telltale signs of a cheating wife you should know

Your quick guide on the obvious signs of a cheating wife

By Patti Flinsch-Rodriguez
 10 telltale signs of a cheating wife you should know

Signs on how to tell if your wife is cheating:

If your relationship with your spouse seems off from the normal routine, you may suspect that your wife is cheating on you.  You know that you can't ask her if she is having an affair because if you are wrong, you will be in the doghouse.  She might even begin to distrust you and your motive for accusing her.  My point is that you have to be sure before tossing around allegations of infidelity.  Here are some signs on how to tell if your wife is cheating.

1. Increase of Late Nights at Work

We all  have days at work where nothing goes right and you have to stay to correct a problem or you have a deadline that must be met.  One incident of having to stay late at work is not an indicator your spouse is having an affair.  When you start seeing a pattern emerge, then you can become suspicious.  Does seem as if she has  to work every Friday night? Does she suddenly have to work all day every Saturday when she never worked on Saturdays before?  Did her late nights increase by 30%?  These could all be signs she is cheating on you.

2. Changes Shared Passwords

Most spouses share their passwords with each other because one of you may need to check the other's email or device on occasion. This is common between married couples, so if you try to log in to her email, and can't because her password has changed, it may be a cause of concern.  It could be that she was notified that someone hacked her account.  That happens, but if she has changed every single one of her passwords, it could be a sign she doesn't want you to see what she is up to.

3. Too Many Details on Where She's Been

Gulity people like to provide details on their whereabouts to justify the length of time they were gone. If you're used to having your wife explain that she was shopping at the mall, and that's the end of the conversation, then that is a reasonable explanation.  However, if she tells you she was at the Acme Mall first, and named the five stores she browsed in and then proceeds to tell you that she stopped at a convenience store and the coffee shop and went to the gas station and the library...It is too much detail.  Most people wouldn't ever remember all of the errands they ran during the span of a few hours.  Too many details is a red flag.

4. New Found Interest in the Gym

Did your wife decide to join a gym for no apparent reason?  Is she spending hours at the gym every day?  An increase in working out frequently when she doesn't have any health concerns or there is no special event that she wants to slim down for is usually a sign that your wife is having an affair.  You may be happy with the way she looks, but she wants to look super hot when she is naked and with her new lover.

5. Buys New Clothes

We all need to buy new clothes periodically, so that alone is not a warning sign.  If you begin to notice that your wife is wearing sexier clothes than she usually does, you may have a problem.  Are her shirts showing off a lot of cleavage, and this is a change in how she normally dresses? Is she wearing tight fitting pants or high heels when she normally wears jeans and sneakers?  Did you uncover a drawer full of sexy lingerie and panties that you have never seen her in?  This can be a sign she is having an affair.

6. No Longer Interested in Sex

Do you and your wife still have sex on a regular basis or did the sex dwindle off to nothing?  She might offer seemingly legitimate excuses such as being tired or stressed from working so many late nights.  If she is turning you down at every advance you make, she may not want sex because she is getting it elsewhere.

7. Goes to Another Room to Talk on Phone

Sometimes you go into another room to talk on the phone because you don't want to disturb your spouse who is reading or watching TV.  If you notice that she is always leaving the room when she takes or makes a phone call, coupled with speaking in a low voice so that you can't hear her, your wife may be cheating on you. 

8. No Longer Says She Loves You

When you tell someone that you love them, and they don't say it back to you; it hurts.  When it's your wife who does this, it's even worse.  You never want to hear, "Thanks," or "Okay," or "Have a nice day," in response to you telling your wife how much you love her.  It is especially concerning when she has always been demonstrative in this way to you in the past, but now she avoids saying she loves you.

9. Increase in Texting

If your wife always seems to be texting someone, and then quickly switches to the home screen on her cell phone when she sees you, it is a red flag.  Everyone texts these days. It is the preferred form of communication, but when you see a substantial increase in frequency, coupled with secrecy, your wife may be cheating on you.

10. Cell Phone on Silent

Call your wife's cell phone.  Does it ring or is it set to silent?  Having your phone on silent could mean that she doesn't want you to be aware that she is getting so many phone calls or text messages.  It isn't reasonable to always have your phone set to silence.  She is probably hiding something from you.

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Physically Cheating On You

It seems as if there should be a universal definition of what constitutes physical cheating, right? We can all agree that the act of intercourse counts as physical cheating, but what about a kiss?  If your wife kissed another man, is that cheating?  What if your wife hugged another man? Is that cheating?

Some people don't think oral sex counts as cheating.  Remember, the news about someone who said that he did not have sexual relations with another woman because he did not consider a blowjob to be sex?  You and your spouse should probably have had a conversation about your expectations of each other when it comes to behavior and the opposite sex.  This way you are both on the same page when it comes to crossing boundaries and what it is you would consider cheating.

Emotionally Cheating On You

There is a bit of controversy over whether an emotional affair should even be considered a form of cheating because there is no physical sexual contact.  However, most therapists would agree that it is cheating.  Emotional cheating relationships occur when one spouse invests time, energy and emotion with someone who is not their spouse to the detriment of the marriage.  This means that your marriage is suffering to some degree because you have become emotionally unavailable to your spouse.  

If your spouse knew that you were dressing nicer to make yourself more attractive to your new friend, he would view the emotional affair as cheating.  If you make elaborate plans to spend time with your crush rather than with your spouse, you are having an emotional affair. Spending hours every week fantasizing about your "friend," and what it would be like if you were more than friends indicates you are an emotional cheater.

3 Signs to tell when your long distance partner is cheating on you

Sometimes you have to have a long distance relationship because work, family or school is keeping you apart.  Even if you aren't physically with them, there are still some signs you should be on the lookout for that will indicate your partner is cheating on you.

1. Your Love Interest is Unavailable

It is unreasonable to think that your love interest will always be available whenever you want to communicate with them, so that alone is not a sign of infidelity.  However, if you two have a standing Skype date every Monday, Wednesday and Friday, and he/she is suddenly never around when you call, it could be a strong indicator your relationship is in trouble.

Obviously, stuff comes up.  Either one of you may have to work late on occasion and therefore can't make it to your standing calls, and this is normal.  But if you start seeing a pattern of being blown off, it's time to have that difficult conversation about fidelity.

2. Reduction in Screen Time

If your partner begins to frequently cut short your phone calls or video chatting, there could be a problem.  You and your love used to spend 60 minutes talking or texting and now they suddenly ditch you after five or ten minutes.  Since this is a huge change in your routine, you should question their ulterior motives.

3. Always Out with a New Group of Friends

Relationships should never stagnate. You will both meet and interact with new people that come into your lives.  However, if your partner seems to be spending an inordinate amount of time with some new friends, you should start asking questions.  If there is one name in particular that they keep talking about, your love interest may be cheating on you.

The guilt they feel when they cheat

Just because your wife has cheated on you, don't think that she doesn't feel guilt or remorse about her actions.  It may be evident when after a romantic encounter, she is suddenly exceptionally nice to you.  She tries to alleviate her conscience because deep down she knows that what she is doing to you is wrong.  Your wife is trying to make amends to you even though you may not be aware of her infidelity.  It adds to your confusion about the relationship, especially if you don't have actual proof of an affair and only have a suspicion.  If she is being extra attententive to you, you may push your suspicion aside and think that your were mistaken and all is fine.

Unfortunately, the opposite effect may happen too as a result of her guilt.  Your wife may lash out at you after her latest tryst with her lover.  She may pick a fight with you because she is trying to convince herself that having an affair is justified because you are a bad person.  If she can make herself believe that you are a bad husband, then she can assuage her guilt about cheating on you.


Accusing your spouse of have an extramarital affair is a serious assertion.  You better be sure that you have all the facts and are 100% correct before confronting her.  If you are wrong, she will begin to suspect that perhaps you are the one who is sneaking around with somebody else.  Remember, just one or two warning signs above may not mean anything at all.  You have to take the whole relationship and the content in which these things occur.  Of course, if you really need irrefutable evidence, hire a private investigator to see if there is merit to your suspicion.

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