How To Break Up With A Friend And End Your Friendship

5 Soft ways to use so that you can break up with a friend

By Diana N.
How To Break Up With A Friend And End Your Friendship

Types Of Friends You Should Break Up With

Friends play a very important role in our lives. They help us deal with difficult situations that come our way and are also there to celebrate with us the good times. Good friends help us to make better lifestyle choices and keep us from getting overwhelmed by stress and in so doing; they ensure that our mental health in check. Sadly, not all friends are good for us.

You should be able to identify who your good friends are and who your toxic friends are as you should be nowhere near the latter. Knowing the difference between your bad and good friends is, however, not easy which is why you should take your time to evaluate all your friends as its only this way you can be able to categorize them accordingly. If you have friends who often take advantage of you, talk badly about you behind your back, judge you, and give away all your secrets, then these are the types of friends you should get rid of immediately as they are bad friends.  

Friends With Benefits

A friend with benefit is a perfect example of a type of friendship which can do more harm than good. By definition, a friend with benefit means someone who you have regular sex with even though you are not dating. The reason why you should end this type of relationship is that it never ends well as one of you will get hurt. When you are sexually intimate with someone, the possibility of developing feelings towards that person is very high and it’s not a good thing as he/she might not feel the same way about you.

So how do you break up with your friend with benefits? A break up is one of the most arduous and awkward things you can go through but in situations such as this, they are totally necessary. The following are the steps of breaking up with a friend with benefit:

1. Avoid having sex before the break-up

Having sex before the break up only makes things worse which is why you should avoid it no matter how tempting it might be. If you are unable to say no, it’s good for you to avoid being around your friend until you get the chance to talk about your situation. Sex always has a way of messing up with your thinking which means that the more you continue to have sex with your friend the more you will delay breaking up.

2. Be honest

The saying 'honesty is the best policy' really applies in this case as its good for you to end things in a humane manner after all; he/she was your friend before anything else. You should, therefore, be honest about why this type of friendship is not working for you. Being honest will make it easier for your friend to understand where you are coming from and will give them closure.

3. Stick to your decision

It’s hard for you to break up with someone who belongs to your circle of friends as you will always be seeing each other. Make sure you stand your ground as tempting as it might be to have sex again with him/her as it will only create more confusion.

4. Allow them to grieve

After ending the relationship, it’s normal for your friend to be emotional and upset. This is why you should give your friend some space to allow him/her to grieve. This is especially important if you still want to be on good terms after the end of your friends with benefits situation.

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Group Friends

Having a group of friends is usually not healthy as it requires you to fulfill a lot of obligations which tends to be very stressful. Finding equity in such a group is also hard which guarantees you a lot of unnecessary drama. Having few friends is healthy for you as you don’t have to deal with all the drama that comes with having group friends. The following are some of the steps to follow when breaking up with group friends:

5. Tell them about your decision

This should be the first step. Let them know what you have decided by talking to them about it. The good thing about doing this is that even though they will be hurt by your decision, they will feel respected. The way you tell them about your decision is up to as you can either choose to tell them all at once or you can choose to approach them one by one.

6. Be respectful of your friend’s feelings

It’s no doubt that your friends will get hurt by your decision which is why it’s important for you to consider their feelings when delivering the news. Avoid making your exit about them, instead focus on you. While you should not lie to them, you should not also accuse them as this will only make things worse.

7. Stand your ground

When dealing with a group of friends, you can be certain that there will be some who will try their best to pull you back into the group. This is why you should never allow this to happen and you do this by being firm in your decision.

8. Cut all contacts

This should be the last thing you do in your efforts to leave your group friends. Cutting all contact with your group friends is especially necessary if they are harmful or even abusive to you. Even though this method is cold, it is effective but you have to know that there is no coming back from this one.

Ways To Break Up With A Friend

Breaking up with a friend personally can be very difficult. This is why other break up options that do not involve being physically present such as breaking up over texts, using songs, and using quotes exist.

Over Text

Most people usually see this option as rude but this is one of the safest ways of breaking up. There are a lot of factors that determines whether or not to use text to break up your friendship and one of them is nature of friendship you had. For instance, if you have been friends for a long period of time, this method would be inappropriate but if you have only been friends for a short time then this is perfect.

So how exactly do you go about it? A good break up text should start with either a genuine compliment or a salutation and be sure to address your friend by his/her name. The next part is usually the difficult part as it’s where you give all your reasons why you have decided to end things with hi/her. The last part of your text should be concluding in a gentle manner while ensuring that you make your friend understand that this is a permanent decision.

Using Quotes

Quotes are very powerful and effective which is why they are among the most popular ways of breaking up with someone. Quotes usually illuminate meanings in a way that nothing else does and some of the quotes you can use include;

• “Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together

Marilyn Monroe

• “You can never cross the ocean unless you have the courage to lose the sight of the shore.”

Christopher Columbus

• “Letting go doesn’t mean that you don’t care about someone anymore. It’s just realizing that the only person you really have control over is yourself.”

Deborah Reber

Through Songs

Music plays a very important part in our lives as it not only touches the body but also feeds our soul. The other reason why music is ideal for this type of situation is that in all the genres that exist there are songs that fit this mood. Examples of breakup songs you can use include Go Your Own Way by Fleetwood Mac, All We Are by One Republic, We Used To Be Friends by Dandy Warhols, Don’t Be So Hard On Yourself by Jess Glynne, and Ignorance by Paramore, among many others. The most important thing when using songs to break up with your friend is for you to ensure that the lyrics match the message you are trying to pass to your friend otherwise you will only cause more confusion.

Summary

Like any love relationships, a friendship also has the chance to fizzle out. Putting up a front and trying to make the friendship look like it's on fleek is not going to work if one party feels stressful to maintain the friendship.No matter if it's you breaking up with your friends or that you're at the receiving end of it. It is never easy to face the situation. What we can do is to take in our stride, wish each other the best, and move on.

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