What Is Unconditional Love Definition And Its Signs

Before we get into unconditional love, it makes sense to discuss love as a concept in general.  What does love really mean to you?  Think about it.  How often do you throw the word "love" around in your everyday speech?  I love that movie. I love this color. I love my cat. I love my boyfriend. I love tacos. Is it possible to truly love all those things? Do you think these are all the same type of love?  No, of course not.  

They are all varying degrees of like, and while you may love tacos, you will probably not disclose your deepest, darkest secret to your taco, but you might be willing to share it with your boyfriend.  Love is trusting someone so much that you can tell them anything, and you believe that they will never use that sceret knowledge against you in some hurtful way.  You cannot love every person that you interact with.  Sure, you may like them, but is that love?

You know you love someone when you are unhappy that you cannot spend time with them. You look forward to seeing them after work, or on the weekend.  When you are not together, you are counting down the hours until you can see them again. You think about this person a lot, and you believe that you are not fulfilled as a person without them in your life.  That is what love really is.

If you ask other people what the definition of unconditional love is, you will get many variations in the answers.  At its basic core, unconditional love is to love someone without conditions or limitations placed on the love.  It means that you love someone in spite of their faults.  You are not going to attempt to change someone in order to give them your love.  You are accepting this person just as they are, with all of their wrinkles and imperfections. 

One of the most common places where you see acts of unconditional true love is within families.  Humans have the innate capacity to show love for another without expecting anything in return.  A mother cradling her baby is an example of unconditional love.  The newborn baby physically cannot "do" anything for herself.  The mother will care for her child by feeding, cleaning, and holding her baby for simply no other reason other than the fact that she loves the baby unconditionally. 

There is no quid pro quo relationship when it comes to loving a baby.  And babies are a lot of work and the effort exerted by the mother can be exhausting, yet she does it anyway.  Why?  Because the baby cannot care for herself and the mom will take care of her.

Some of the easiest ways to define unconditional love is to give examples of instances where you can see it in action. 

Many of us have to face the reality of our parents getting older, and decisions have to be made as to how best to take care of them as they age.  Caring for a parent who can no longer take care of themselves is a difficult undertaking, yet so many of us choose to do this.  I use the word "choose" intentionally because there are plenty of facilities out there who will care for your parent in their hospital setting.  This is an expensive option, but it also is not for everyone.  Because you would be leaving your parent in the hands of people who do not know or love them, it is not an option everyone is comfortable with choosing. 

Choosing to care for your parent in your home (or theirs), is a difficult and thankless job.  Depending upon how ill your parent is, you may find that you are doting on them every minute of the day, and this is exhausting.  Adding to the exhaustion is the fact that your parent may have dementia or memory loss, and that may not make it easy to actually take care of them.  Despite these negatives, people still choose to look after their parents themselves.  Their parent may be bedridden, or unable to communicate with them. They care for their parents in a way that is similar to a mom taking care of her new born.  It is another example of a type of unconditional love.

How often have you come home from work and been greeted by your dog bounding out just to say hi?  The happiness your dog feels seeing you walk through the front door is one of the purest examples of unconditional love.  Your dog is thrilled to see you.  He doesn't care about the day you had or the mood you are in.  He is filled with love for you, and this will usually change your mood just be seeing his joy.  Many of us have pets that tear up the sofa cushions, soil the carpet, or breaks something in an moment of rambunctious behavior.  We don't love them less because of what they did, right? They are loved anyway, in spite of their flaws.. 

Anyone can observe your good qualities and decide they love you based upon just the good things they know about you.  However, we all know that people are not 100% "good."  We all have character quirks that others may find unappeling, or at the very least annoying.  For example, if you are always late to everything that you are invited to; it would be a frustrating character trait to everyone who knows you.  If you can still love that person, even though they are consistently tardy and this also makes you late by association, it is an example of unconditional love.  You love the habitually late person in spite of their fault.

When you see something in your partner that isn't an admirable trait, do not judge them.  Let's imagine that your partner bites his nails and he is 25 years old.  You may think that it's ridiculous that a person who is the age of an adult still bites his nails. You think that they should have quit this habit a long time ago, but that would be a judgment on your part.  People who bite their nails usually do it as a coping mechanism when they are anxious or stressed.  Try not to judge your love and accept your partner as they are.

My husband is one of those people who worries about everything.  If we are having people over for a party, he worries that we won't have enough food or he worries that no one will show up or that people will get bored and leave early.  I have learned that there is absolutely nothing I can do to make him stop this worrying, despite the fact that none of the things he worries about has ever happened in real life to us.  However, I must give him the space he needs when he is stressed to be himself, and I stand by his side as he worries.

If someone says, "I would love you if you...." You can fill in the blank for yourself.  Unconditional love is not, I would love you, but you have to lose 20 pounds.  Nope, that is the very definition of conditional love.

Love, it makes the world go round.  Love is the best bit of happiness in our day, so it is not something to be uttered lightly.  When you tell another person that you love them, make sure you mean it.  You cannot love someone unconditionally if you are trying to change everything about them before you express your love to them.  If you want your significant other to go to school and get an advanced degree, that is okay.  You already love him and you want him to have a bright future.  You are not saying that you won't love him unless he is a college graduate. 

I would be remiss in my duties if I did not mention abusive relationships.  Loving someone unconditionally does not mean that you should stay in an abusive relationship.  There is a difference between loving someone in spite of their faults and loving someone who is hurting you.  You should never accept abuse as part of your relationship.  No matter how much your partner claims to love you, pain and abuse is not part of the love equation. You should get counseling to figure out how to handle any abusive relationship.