The Importance of Keeping Sex in Marriage Healthy

Healthy sex life in marriage upkeeps a good marriage life

By Madiha A.
The Importance of Keeping Sex in Marriage Healthy

The Effects of Lack of Sex in Marriage

Physiological needs are the basic biological requirements of human existence. Maslow said if these requirements are not fulfilled it is impossible for humans to function properly. These include food, clothing, shelter, air, warmth, sleep and last but not the least, sex. He further added that if these needs are not met, all other needs become less important and secondary. Marriage is all about fulfilling these needs in a way that both partners get an equal level of satisfaction and hence live happily ever after.

Physical intimacy plays a vital role in making or breaking a relationship. In life, there may come a time when due to lack of sex you come on a verge of breaking the relationship. Lack of sex can have several physical, psychological and emotional effects that can lead to adversities. These may include:

1. You Quarrel More

Sex is a way to resolve issues. You fight; end up having makeup sex and everything gets better for good. Lack of sex not only ignites quarrels but it also lingers them on and you end up fighting more out of frustration.

2. You Get Distant

Physical intimacy brings partners closer not only physically but also emotionally. Working couples after spending a whole day out, away from each other, find comfort in each other’s company while having sex. Lack of sex drives you apart and you become physically and emotionally distant.

3. You Start Living an Unnatural Life

Sex is a basic human need. It is nature’s way for partners to come close and reproduce eventually. Lack of sex denies you from the satisfaction that nature offers and hence you start living an unnatural life.

4. Your Immune System Gets Affected

Having sex on a regular basis boosts the body’s ability to fight illnesses. Lack of sex according to researchers at Wilkes University makes you vulnerable and you catch diseases more often.

5. Back to Square One

Marriage is all about building a relationship in order to move forward and achieve goals of life together. Sex keeps the spirit alive and lack of sex brings you back to square one. It not only drifts you apart but it also brings you to a point where you totally get uninterested in your partner.

What are the Benefits of Sex in Marriage?  

Several factors can make or break a marriage and sex is at the top of the list. Lots of it, lack of it, not having it or having it with a person other than the spouse; as much as it can keep the spark alive, it has the ability to take you to the extreme another side of the spectrum in no time. Within the wedlock, sex can be the biggest player because of the benefits it offers. Here are some physical and emotional benefits of having sex in marriage.

6. You Remain Fit

According to the American Heart Association, sex offers the same benefits as physical exercises like brisk walking and stair climbing. 30 minutes of sex is said to burn 200 calories which are good enough to keep you in good shape.  

7. You Remain in a Good Mood

Chemicals released in the body during sex make you feel elevated. Endorphin and oxytocin play a major role in reducing depression. Sex also controls certain hormones like cortisol and adrenaline which are released due to stress. Once the secretion of these hormones is controlled, blood pressure and fatigue will remain under control automatically.

8. You Enjoy Better Sleep

All humans systems are interconnected. Having sex keeps you in a good mood and relaxed which in turn results in good sleep. Say goodbye to insomnia by having regular sex.

9. Stay and Look Younger

Pheromone is a hormone responsible for making you look attractive and appealing to the opposite sex. This hormone is released during sexual activity and the couples that are sexually active remain and look younger than their actual ages. 

The rules, frequency and statistics of sex in a healthy marriage

Marriage is a combination of various variables and sex is one of them that can surely keep it stronger and healthier. While many think that it is just for pleasure, which is correct partly, sex serves many purposes in a happy marriage. It keeps the partners close, results in babies who bring them even closer in many cases and keeps them healthier by controlling various body chemicals. Rules and frequency can vary from couple to couple and there is nothing hard and fast about how, when and why but here are some general guidelines

Rules of Sex in a Healthy Marriage

Having sex is a personal matter and the experience can be different for every couple. There can or cannot be any rules. It is always good to talk about it beforehand to avoid any disappointments later. A few general rules that can apply to every couple having sex are mentioned below:
1.    While in wedlock; do not have sex out of it.
2.    Do unto your partner as you would have them do unto you. 

3.    Do not talk about it with anyone. 
4.    Do not compare it with others.
5.    Ask each other about when and how to have sex.
6.    Sex and care are inseparable. You cannot do one and ignore the other. 
7.    Do not masturbate when you can have sex.
8.    Never fake orgasm. If you are enjoying or not enjoying; be open and honest.


Frequency of Sex in a Healthy Marriage

Just like rules, the frequency of sex should be decided by the couple. It can be based on their stamina, schedule, desires, and interests. There can be a discrepancy in expectations of the partners on how many times and when to have it. According to studies, the number of times couples have sex during a week can range between zero to around fifteen, three to five being average is a realistic and achievable goal. There isn’t anything as “too much” or “too little” when it comes to sex. If partners are healthy and are enjoying the activity, no matter how many times, it’s good for them. Frequency only matters if one is expecting more than what the other is ready to give. 

Normal in sex varies from person to person and marriage to marriage. Mood, health, medication, age, daily routines, and so many other factors are at play and can affect the frequency of sex.

Statistics of Sex in a Healthy Marriage

Sex; a natural phenomenon in a natural relationship, however, can be really surprising if you consider the statistics. Several types of research and surveys conducted over the years revealed the following facts about sex in marriage.

  • 58-68 times do married couples have sex over a period of one year. The number is just a little more than unmarried couples.
  • 32-40% of couples have sex three to four times a week 
  • Where in men, age is not a deterrent to sexual frequency, in women frequency do decrease with age. 
  • Having sex 10 times or less per year makes it a “sexless marriage” and almost 20% of the couples fall into this category.
  • More sex does not guarantee happiness. 
  • ​​​​​​​Women tend to enjoy sex more in committed relationships than hookups.

Why is Sex in Marriage Important?

Whether you like it or not, feel like having it or not, sex is very crucial for a healthy marriage. Men and women have different needs and expectations in a committed relationship. Where women need emotional support, love, care, and intimacy, men need a more physical relationship. It is necessary to fulfill each other’s desires to enjoy a balanced relationship. 

Marriage is an intimate relationship. It isn’t one night stand or casual hook up where you don’t have to care for any after effects. When you are in a committed relationship, you have to be concerned about physical as well as emotional desires of your partner. Sex in marriage should be a result of intimacy. Here are a few points that will help you understand why sex in marriage is important

1. Intimacy or in other words sex enhances long term relationships

2. It keeps you both healthy and happy both emotionally and physically.

3. It encourages communication which can result in resolving issues, sharing likes and dislikes and discussions to improve quality of life.

4. Good sex is a confidence booster. The feeling of being desirable and attractive elevates your level of confidence like nothing else.

5. It results in the creation of the strongest social institution; family. 

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Trust, loyalty, honesty, and love are surely important but the accessory and necessity to a healthy marriage is sex. It is time for both partners to relax and enjoy each other’s company at an intimate level. It is nature’s way of satisfying each other in the most sensual manner. It should be carried out in a way that it is neither imposed nor expected from the partner. It should come naturally in a way that both partners get an equal level of satisfaction and pleasure from each other.